Thanks everyone for the warm messages.
@Rex it's very unfortunate that people can be judgmental and attack someone when they don't know the situation. What if one posts about something that society is strongly against and there is no support from anyone online? About the issue that I am facing, I have this bottled up inside for well over 15 years as this particular topic is very taboo. I wanted to go to a therapist but I ended up not going.
I totally understand. Right before quarantine I was in group outpatient rehab where I discussed issues I've kept inside. My psychiatrist said I should talk about my past instead of keeping it all behind a mental wall in my head.
One thing I brought was an attempt of who I am inside. While everyone around the group shared and cried about a death, harming situation, divorce, etc i did not. I don't care or view anything any differently than anything else. Cognitive therapy while good for some doesn't work for me.
Rehab lasted about 2 weeks before it got shut down because of covid-19. It went online and we all had the option to continue or end the program early. I have no interest in online group therapy so I quit. Also the people of the group became terrified of me after my prison experiences so I had no interest in continuing with that group. Since everyone there was battling with divorce, family death, and childhood abuse so it wasn't surprising of the reactions I received.
Like the scene with Jack Nicholson in movie a few good men, "you can't handle the truth"
There's a lot of memories I hold about others throughout the years i spent in prison. That could terrify people and past judgment on them and me. All my cell mates were murderers serving life sentences. Didn't bother me or did I act differently. Because i don't care and don't feel what society says I should feel. In California the prison system has 2 prison processing centers where you can spend anywhere around a couple weeks up to 8 weeks. My score ended me up in one of the maximum security prisons. There's maximum, medium, low, and minimum security classifications. The higher security the less perks you get but some people like myself never got to transfer down security levels like others. I was stuck in a hot ass desert in the middle of nowhere. The food was like a cheap microwave dinners on a tray. Lunch was a sack lunch with stale bread, odd tasting no refrigerated needed packaged slices of meat, fruit, and a small carton of odd tasting flavored drink. At least breakfast was somewhere good.
There's a journal section in this site you might check out. Could be a good place to open up about yourself on topics you don't discuss with people. Or whatever you would write in a journal.
Again, welcome to the site.
Nice to hear from you all. Do we simply share our issues on this web page or are there other ways of doing this?
