Hey everyone

T

TheEmptyClamShell

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#1
Whatsup. Hope everyone finds some sort of improvement or relief because i know how hard it is to deal with mental illness. Ive suffered so much and i still do. I think ive moved past some things like panic disorder but i still get panic attacks occassionally and at least its not an everyday thing like it used to be. Ive been living life like this the past few years and im only 22: I am prone, if not addicted to overthinking every new idea that comes into my head and have alot of pent up anxiety from it. Ive gone places in my head and thought things out to such an extent that ive had things happen i didnt even know were possible to experiance in my own head. Ive thought existential ideas that i didnt think were even fathomable but later learned were experianced by others. Ive dealt with severe dissociation (derealization and depersonalization) and next level, crippling anxiety because of it. Just when i think i could live life normally again, another problem or disturbing feeling overcomes me and im back to the bottom of the pit im trying to climb out of...i suffer extreme existential depression now which started a year and a half ago after a death in my immediate family but ive had many other serious mental health issues before that, which has caused me to have such bad apathy i cant see the point in literally anything, even happiness. Ive dealt with grieving but i think the hardest part is coming to terms that everything and everyone must end someday, including myself... I also have many other emotional issues. I often feel hopeless and doubt anything will ever help me recover. I feel i am stuck this way, thinking everything is absurd and pointless. I think everything out in the most cold and logical ways, which makes it impossible to see the point in a universe that doesnt exactly have one. Obviously im not religious so if you are, i dont mean to offend and you can just disregard what ive said.
Imma make another post after this to explain my most intense problem at the moment but hello and how are you all and what are the things you suffer from?
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
:welcome: to the forum. Its awful to feel this way isn't it? If someone else was saying all this to you, what would you say to them? That is a way to sort out your life philosophy and work out how humans slot into the universe.

I am diagnosed with bipolar and know how bad depressions can feel. I get so ill that last time I ended up in Mental Hospital. Not in a religious way, but what do you believe is the role of people on the planet?
 
T

TheEmptyClamShell

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#3
:welcome: to the forum. Its awful to feel this way isn't it? If someone else was saying all this to you, what would you say to them? That is a way to sort out your life philosophy and work out how humans slot into the universe.

I am diagnosed with bipolar and know how bad depressions can feel. I get so ill that last time I ended up in Mental Hospital. Not in a religious way, but what do you believe is the role of people on the planet?
Hi, sorry you go through that. Bipolar is pretty horrible from what i hear.
To answer that question about peoples purpose on the planet, im not sure. I also dont limit it to just human beings. Its more of a what is life as a wholes' purpose. I guess if anything the only thing i can think of is our purpose is to reproduce and keep going toward some endless goal since that is the one thing we are programmed to do. And that every single living thing, even microbes do it asexually even though they probably dont feel much of anything. I feel like things such as happiness and emotions are just things the brain creates in order to actually get the person to achieve in reproducing and having relations to people such as family and friends to help it survive. Its also questionable if maybe lifes purpose is to give the universe an awareness of itself, for whatever reason. It all feels like an absurd game to me, i just dont see the point to anything now. Im indifferent to emotions because i feel they are irrelevant. But i never used to be. Otherwise id think i was a phychopath. Its just something that developed after my relative passed away and made me think so deeply about everything now. Any decision i make that is emotionally charged, i ponder why i feel that way because its just something my brain is doing instinctively. Even an act of asking someone "are you ok?" makes me think this.
 
H

Holdingoutforhope

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#5
I have to say, reading your intro is extremely similar to my own, although you have gone into more detail. I can pretty much relate to everything you have said.

From my own personal experience, I believe that relaxation will help. Hypnotherapy helped me. My mind was so exhausted that irrational thoughts were popping into my head every 5 minutes and I was believing everything. I remember 2012 and I got into a huge state about it all thinking it was all over.

The first time I got into a proper trance through hypnotherapy, when I went home I fell asleep in the middle of the day, 2 hours before I was shaking due to being so worked up! It’s a great calming technique but you need to find the right person. I went through 3 or 4 and it won’t be cheap but it’s investing in yourself.

Grounding techniques are also useful. Cut the media/ news, devices etc out, it’s all there to cause us stress and worry so we read into stuff more.

Hopefully something in that lot will be useful to you. Don’t give up, it will get better.
 
calypso

calypso

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#6
Your second post shows a level of being really low. Thinking everything is just the brain making things happen for no good reason than to reproduce. We are more than that as are other animals on the planet. A sense of fun is a sign of intelligence in animals, us included. Getting a thrill out of simple things helps me feel that we are here to experience life in all its glory and interact with it through others.

I am sorry you feel so bad. You aren't a psychopath though, they wouldn't be bothered with a forum like this except to wind people up for fun.
 
T

TheEmptyClamShell

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Joined
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Messages
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#7
I have to say, reading your intro is extremely similar to my own, although you have gone into more detail. I can pretty much relate to everything you have said.

From my own personal experience, I believe that relaxation will help. Hypnotherapy helped me. My mind was so exhausted that irrational thoughts were popping into my head every 5 minutes and I was believing everything. I remember 2012 and I got into a huge state about it all thinking it was all over.

The first time I got into a proper trance through hypnotherapy, when I went home I fell asleep in the middle of the day, 2 hours before I was shaking due to being so worked up! It’s a great calming technique but you need to find the right person. I went through 3 or 4 and it won’t be cheap but it’s investing in yourself.

Grounding techniques are also useful. Cut the media/ news, devices etc out, it’s all there to cause us stress and worry so we read into stuff more.

Hopefully something in that lot will be useful to you. Don’t give up, it will get better.
Your second post shows a level of being really low. Thinking everything is just the brain making things happen for no good reason than to reproduce. We are more than that as are other animals on the planet. A sense of fun is a sign of intelligence in animals, us included. Getting a thrill out of simple things helps me feel that we are here to experience life in all its glory and interact with it through others.

I am sorry you feel so bad. You aren't a psychopath though, they wouldn't be bothered with a forum like this except to wind people up for fun.
Thank you for the advice. After i made this post, i started not being able to sleep. Right now im awake and have been for over 24 hours...im scared ill never sleep again. But the worst part is im stuck because im in such a confused state, i cant decide or understand anything in my mind and everything is a dead end. Everytime i think ive found meanig, see something that is suppose to have meaning to me and then it doesnt and i panic because i dont think ill ever find meaning. Im constantly panicking, ive been skaking and honestly feel unsane because of this. This is living hell, i cant find a reason for anything. What if i continue into a further limbo because i cannot fall asleep. I fear ill die from lack of sleep. People say you cannot stay awake for more than a certain time or something but what if i manage to stay awake forever and become crazy???
 
calypso

calypso

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#8
Go to your doctor and get something to help you sleep. All our symptoms get worse without sleep. You won't die from it, but you will become more ill. You need a short course of meds to help you over this.
 

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