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Here to help my brother

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GeoD

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2019
Messages
2
Location
San Diego
Hi All,

I have a brother who has been treated in the past for anxiety and depression issues, and is still being medicated for those. I have recently come to learn that he has fabricated his employment and education history. This appears to have been going on for quite some time. He lives with my parents and they are in denial about there being any issue at all and didn't share many things with me.

I love him and want to help him, but I want to make sure I approach things in the correct way as I am concerned about him harming himself. I'm very new to all this and am just trying to find a way to help someone I love very much. ANY thoughts or guidance is much appreciated.

Thank you
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,171
Location
Nowhere
hi Geo :welcome:

he has fabricated his employment history to whom ?
to an employer ?

n yeah I'm not sure if you can address that with him
I would just make it clear
that you are ' there for him '
and that you are someone he can talk to

its very difficult to do that
when you want to step in and fix the situation imho

:loveshower:
 
G

GeoD

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2019
Messages
2
Location
San Diego
hi Geo :welcome:

he has fabricated his employment history to whom ?
to an employer ?

n yeah I'm not sure if you can address that with him
I would just make it clear
that you are ' there for him '
and that you are someone he can talk to

its very difficult to do that
when you want to step in and fix the situation imho

:loveshower:
He's fabricated it to our family and friends. The concern I have is that he believes it. I have confronted him in the past and he just sticks to his story. He has now started stealing from my parents. Again, it just seems like he really believes the story he is telling even though its clearly false and makes no sense. And you're right, I've attempted to be there for him, but now he is affecting others negatively.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,171
Location
Nowhere
n yeah, I just find that we dont have the skills
to reach someone who is in that state
it tends to be that we cant fix the situation in my experience

you might talk to your parents about it
but I doubt you will get anywhere by confronting him about it
that is a job for a professional

if you're feeling wound up about it
then you need some support for yourself
 
P

PaulDUK

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
78
Location
UK
Without knowing your relationship with him, or his state of mind, do you think a quiet drink and some guidance words would make a difference? Seems like he has gently slipped away from reality and needs to be reminded?
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Hello Geo oddly enough a similar situation …..imo anxiety and depression can make you feel embarrassed by the lack of any real tangible achievements in life. Along with the anxiety and depression which are interlinked the anxiety and depression interferes with what I call stage posts in life that other folk take for granted ie doing well in education having a career, having many friends and even the marriage and kids bit.

Good that you have realised now cos when your parents are no longer around ….dont bring him to task about his fabrication for reasons I mentioned above. He most probably fairly stressed out about it. is my take on it

Your brother sounds like he has spent his life camouflaging his struggle in the effort to appear normal and therefore a face saving exercise so tread carefully..

Just come along side him. Now that is worrying that he is stealing from your parents. As Paul suggests a quiet drink and a listening ear....
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
so as you can see it can be a potentially complex situation.
 
R

ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
15,209
Location
london
i've known people with schitzoprenia to tell stories they beleive that haven't happened same with people on dope, they beleive them memory is a funny thing, i've been accused of that as well, and decades pass and who knows whats actually real
 
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