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here it comes again

FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
I'm exhausted. Foid makes me feel sick. I am in bed again. I can barely keep my eyes open. I can barely move. My eyes are heavy. Thoughts like sludge. Maybe this means I will sleep without zopiclone.

I've had enough of life. I pull myself through each day and for what?

I will keep going but I'm tired. Tired of ATOS crap. Tired of GP crap. Tired of waiting lists. Tired of being tired.

Depression keeps coming back. At least my thinking has slowed. Now I will have some relief from the incessant torture.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
I hope this means you'll sleep without meds too. :hug1:

Are you getting any support at the moment, Peach?
I know you've been struggling a lot lately. x
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
I'm on a waitng list for trauma focused counseling through my GP. They said this would be quicker when I was discharged from the psychiatrist. Thr GP herself is as cold as ice. I feel very alone with this. I'm allright but not if you get me. I don't know. I'm allright sometimes but not others.

I took zopiclone at midnight as I was reliving so much I had to knock myself out. I slept ten hours.
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
Got Alex off to school this morning and then sloped back into bed. Hunger pains got me up. I walked down to boots to get my prescription meds. I went to the library and collected the reading group book for this month which I've been reading today. Mild depression is all I'm at so far and I'm liking the slowness of mind and the restful way I feel. I prefer depression in many ways because it is a bit numbing.

I don't yet feel like I'm a waste of space and am praying that I won't reach that stage again. My anti depressant should prevent that happening again but I can never be sure.

I'm meeting another friend tomorrow for lunch. Good to get out in the air and walk. Good to talk to someone older than 11!
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
4,861
Youre doing the right thing keeping busy! :) as long as I'm busy I'm OK.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
It's a road full of ups and downs, and sometimes it can be very difficult. It's nice to see you're keeping busy with things and making plans, this can be helpful :) Sorry about the long waiting list, I've experienced it and it's frustrating. Is it possible to change GP maybe? Hope you enjoy your lunch tomorrow!
 
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