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here I am again...

R

riverofdragons

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
275
Here I am again, wanting to die. Knowing that I shouldn't do anything 'stupid'. Not coping with everyday life. Maybe self harm will release enough pressure to stop me doing it, but then I have been trying not to harm. I feel very alone and have no one to turn to, or who would notice if I did harm or worse. Everyday things get worse despite doing everything I can to get back on track.

I am feeling so hopeless...
 
G

GrizzlyBear

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
971
Hope you feel better soon. :flowers:
 
Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Hi Riverofdragons.I think most o us on here have had these thoughts. I know that I have. They will always be somebody that would miss you. Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel.? when things get rough you could talk to the Samaritans. Hope these feelings go away and you start to feel better soon.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,624
Hey River - you mentioned you had being trying not to self harm - well there you go that for one thing is a positive, so you are not hopeless and things can be different. People would miss you - people here for a start.
If things are not getting any better at all then it is probably time to revisit your doctor and discuss medication etc. Please stay safe and well.

Please try to seek professional advice again.
:hug:
KS
 
R

riverofdragons

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
275
I have been seeing the psychiatrist every 6-8 weeks for about 10 months. So far they have increased meds everytime and although it does make a difference I still find myself down here in this pit.

I saw a clinical psychologist on Monday and will also be seeing her weekly for a while for some talking therapy too.

Uni have been fantastic and have put in place loads of support for next term and purchased some fantastic equipment to allow me to study even when my concentration means I am unable to read anything.

I guess if I am honest I am very stressed and upset about money/or lack of it, I also have an exam on friday and my housemate has his girlfriend to stay and all I can hear is them going at it.

I am in a lot of physical pain, but if i take the pain medication I wont be able to study for this exam. Which is essential as I missed almost the whole term to depression and agoraphobia.

I have an appointment with my GP on friday after the exam, but right now it feels as though I wont make it. I harmed this morning, not seriously, but it didn't help me feel any better at all.

I feel so alone.
 
O

olan

Guest
if your friends is out and you feel so alone, why don't you try to put your attention in everything that can make your life busy? like hiking or play some computer games.
 
Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Hi riverofdragons,
I am so sorry that you are having such a bad time, at this very important time in your life. Its bad feeling like you do at any time, but with exams it is a very stressful time anyway. Could you have a word with your flat mate, and explain that you need to study. I wish you well.
 
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