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Helping someone with PTSD

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BTWThomas65

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Apr 6, 2021
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Hi all, at Christmas 2019, my gf lost her dad to cancer. She suffered greatly over a long period of time knowing her dad was dying and when he passed, she became very depressed. She was later diagnosed with PTSD. To give context, we've been very close friends for the past 2 years and have only recently got together. I suppose part of me thought that it might give some light into her life.
We are currently living a few hours drive from each other so seeing each other frequently is not an option. Some days, she'll feel ok and others, she'll feel helplessly lost and down. I've scoured the internet in search of ways to help her but most seem to tell me what not to do (which I know) and aren't personal enough to this situation.
I was wondering if anyone her has been in a similar situation to her or felt the same things as her and could perhaps give me a few things to aid her on her journey to recovery.
Thankyou all in advance
Warmest
 
C

CabbageMama

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Has she been able to access any counselling to help her process what has happened and how she feels?
 
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BTWThomas65

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Has she been able to access any counselling to help her process what has happened and how she feels?
Yes, she has had counselling and been having counselling (unsure for how long)
 
C

CabbageMama

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Explored whether medication might help? Anyway you could spend more time together?
 
T

Topgear2

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Apr 8, 2021
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Hey!
I’m new to this forum but in my experience with ptsd and depression I can only comment on how my boyfriend reacted/ helped.
The things I found most useful was facetimes when we couldn’t be together, usually at night to help me sleep as this is when I felt most vulnerable and alone with my thoughts. Random messages to remind her of her worth and how well she is doing in life and how proud she is making her family and those around her.
Simply ask how you can help, some days I wanted things from my boyfriend but I couldn’t just come out and say it because of my depression, communication was a struggle so when he asked I was able to be truthful.
Definitely help her seek help when she feels comfortable to do so, try go with her if you can and if she wants you to. I found it more comforting when I had my boyfriend with me at any appointments.
Overall just stick by her, give her time, she’s trying her best and will feel like she’s pushing you away but just stick by her side. Things will and do get better I promise!
 
B

BTWThomas65

New member
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3
Location
UK
Hey!
I’m new to this forum but in my experience with ptsd and depression I can only comment on how my boyfriend reacted/ helped.
The things I found most useful was facetimes when we couldn’t be together, usually at night to help me sleep as this is when I felt most vulnerable and alone with my thoughts. Random messages to remind her of her worth and how well she is doing in life and how proud she is making her family and those around her.
Simply ask how you can help, some days I wanted things from my boyfriend but I couldn’t just come out and say it because of my depression, communication was a struggle so when he asked I was able to be truthful.
Definitely help her seek help when she feels comfortable to do so, try go with her if you can and if she wants you to. I found it more comforting when I had my boyfriend with me at any appointments.
Overall just stick by her, give her time, she’s trying her best and will feel like she’s pushing you away but just stick by her side. Things will and do get better I promise!
Thankyou so much. this is really helpful. She is currently seeing a therapist regarding her PTSD but we have been put on a waiting list to see a grief counsellor which might be more specialised to her scenario. I have already used some of the things that you suggested and they have proved useful.
 
T

Tylrwb

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
8
Location
NORTH OLMSTED
I am in kind of the same situation as you. Only i live with her. It has become a daily struggle for me. She has been dealing with this for most of her life. From her family to Rape and Abuse from some of her boyfriends/husband. We are not young either. I have never had to deal with this before and I am trying to understand, but it seems in her eyes, i am always the fault. I hurt her with my words, when I dont understand what I said. I even said that i was on this forum to better understand and she said Please dont stop reminding me that i need to always make sure you are okay first.. She is a roommate, not even my girlfriend. I didn't ask for this. Now I am trying to deal with how to cope on a daily basis. I want her to get help, but she says therapists only make it worse. Its like she doesn't want to get better..
 
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