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Helping girlfriend


l j

New member
Jan 21, 2009
I just wrote out a post that took me close to an hour and my computer crashed so i'll give you the quick story
Been living with my partner for close to 3 years, she has always suffered from slight depression but recently has started self harming after we have a large argument which she tends to start over something trivial. I try and be patient but its very difficult not to argue back over the nature of it.
Something serious has affected our lives over the past few months and she has started becoming increasingly depressed, she doesn't like me having much contact with family members, will start having a go at me over anything she can find, doesn't like me spending much time with friends without her etc.
Now the problem is she says is living in this house with me is making her depressed, i've offerd to move out to help her but she doesn't want me to?
I have tried to get her to visit the gp but she says there is no point, doesn't want to be on drugs etc. Plus she says the problem is things make her depressed, if these things weren't there it wouldn't be a problem. The argument i made was that recent activities have had more impact on me however i don't get depressed( not to that extent anyway) and i dont self harm etc. She says she is never depressed in work, i'm guessing because she is busy and no think of things. She ghas had a week off this week and so far has spent half of it in bed, granted it has been a stressfull week due to past problems emerging but?...
I can't see a way out, i love her but can't cope with much more and am close to leaving but don't think i could because i'm too worried about how she would react.
Any ideas??


hello and welcome to the forum lj
it sounds like you are at your wits end.
It is so hard to convince some one that they would benefit from profesional help, especially if they are in some sort of denial..
there are a few sits that are aimed to help people in your current position.
this one is quite good, ut there are many others,
the thing is I cannot offer any comments or diagnose your wife, but maybe able to help you find an easier way to cope.


best of luck and again welcome to the forum, I hope you find it supportive and helpful as I have.

l j

New member
Jan 21, 2009
Thanks for the reply saffron, i'll check it out


Well-known member
Founding Member
Jul 21, 2008
I feel for you. It's almost impossible to get someone to look for help if they are in denial.
All you can do is suggest she go to her GP for advice. Aside from that...you should guard your own (mental) health. I hope that doesn't sound cold as it's not meant to be.
Please take care, and good luck.
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