Helping a family member

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bgriley

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Dec 12, 2018
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Hi everyone. I'm new here. I do not have schizophrenia, but my ex may have it. I know.... weird that I am reaching out on his behalf when we are no longer together. The fact that we have a 10 year old son, is why I am reaching out.

So, it all started in March when he quit drinking cold turkey. He started hearing voices and seeing things. Then he started talking about wanting to take the devil to hell and torture him. He lost his job and has not been working since.

It was in March when he went to the hospital to get help. They gave him Risperdone and some sleep meds. He took them for awhile then said the voices told him not to take them. He hasn't been on them since probably April.

He has had 3 exorcism prayers done on him by the Russian Orthodox church and the Catholic Church and yet he is still having trouble with the voices.

He is back at his hometown, living with his great-aunt who raised him. His sister says he has good days and bad days. On good days he will talk and watch tv and do normal things. On bad days he is angry and yells and goes in and out of the house all day.

He is not answering my calls or texts. I am helping him sell his house. Anyways, he is behind on his mortgage by a couple months. I have paid it for 2 or 3 months to prevent it from getting foreclosed. I have also paid for his electric to be turned on and his heat.

It has been stressful because he is not reaching out for help. I'm worried about him because he is not on meds. He is not capable to work in his condition. It has been 10 months since he has been functioning. Anybody else go through this?
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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I'm sorry to hear about his condition and the strain it is probably putting on you. My story is I got laid off from IBM after working there for many years so I got a big severance payment so we had money in the bank to live off of for awhile. I quickly found another job but it turned out to be a disaster and I went psychotic and was hospitalized. (I had secretly been hearing voices occasionally for the previous five years.) I never went back to work after that and I was in very poor shape mentally. I mostly sat at home, lost in my delusions and hallucinations, but at least I wasn't violent or mean to my family, and I did what they recommended as far as psychiatric health care. I've always been very compliant. But this put a big strain on my wife because she had to take care of me and the kids. So my wife decided to sell our house and we would move back to our home town to be near family that could give us support. Luckily the housing market was booming so we were able to sell our house for $100,000 more than what we had bought it for. This gave us much more money to live on since neither of us had a job. We moved in with my wife's parents for a year, then were able to buy a house for half what our old house cost, but was actually nicer, because the housing market was so much lower in this town. So now 13 years have past during which I had other hospitalizations and my wife fought to get me disability benefits with the help of a lawyer, so we now have an income that we get by on. I am finally on a medication that i am doing better on, and I've started becoming more involved in the world around me for the past 3 years. I volunteer at a charity almost every week day for at least an hour or two. Life does not seem so dismal any more. And I am a grandfather for the first time. My daughter is currently visiting with her new baby.

So there is always hope for your ex. Hopefully some day he will come around and start complying better with treatment. There were many years I must admit that I wasn't a great father to my kids, but now I am trying to make up for that. Now I can try to be a good grandfather. My son's wife is due to have a baby in March so I will then have two grandkids.
 
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bgriley

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Dec 12, 2018
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Thank you for the reply! That does give me hope. It is just hard to see him be in this state right now. It has been a trying 10 months. His family does not see a problem with how he is now even though they are living with him. They don't realize that he needs help. I know how he was before all of this. I know he needs help.

He spoke to my son on the phone last night, but for less than a minute. We all thought he was possessed by a demon or demons, which is why we had the church help. But it has been 10 months and he has moved out of his home, so now I'm starting to wonder if it is schizophrenia. We initially thought it was possession because when we lived together, every single place we lived at was haunted. It was scary. I was the only one afraid of the places. They were all cold and our kids toys made noises in the middle of the night. My ex drank a lot and would go out to the bars and leave me at home with the kids and I would keep all the lights on in the house. It was terrifying because you could always feel something watching. Plus my youngest son, Jr, said he saw shadows that shushed him. When he got older he would draw what he saw. Black figures with red eyes. Then my youngest daughter freaked me out a couple months ago saying "scary monster" and I asked her to tell me what it looked like. My three-year-old said big black with red eyes. Creepy right!?!?!

Anyways, I'm wondering if maybe my ex is haunted and has schizophrenia? Is that possible?
 
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bgriley

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Dec 12, 2018
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Also, how did you get disability? I may need help applying for him since he does not seem ok to work.

This is so sad because he was a Financial Analyst before things went south. He had a six figure job... now nothing and debt collectors are calling.
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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I live in the US and since I worked and paid in to Social Security, a federal government retirement program, I qualified to get social security disability once I couldn't work any more. But this was not easy to get. They denied my first application, which is very complicated and involves my doctors sending information to them. They also denied my appeal. So after this my wife hired a social security attorney to handle my case. She got me a hearing with a social security judge who heard my case and granted me the benefit finally. It took about a total of a year and a half to finally start getting this monetary benefit after the date of my first application.
 
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bgriley

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Dec 12, 2018
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Thanks!

Thank you! I went ahead and applied for him. Hoping it is approved because 10 months is a long time to have no income. I'm hoping he goes to behavioral health soon to get meds that will help him.
 
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