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andybrownabc123

Guest
I think I have been abused. I am reflecting on past and have come up with this conclusion.

I just dont know how I am going to deal with it. It is not easy. If I go back to the potential abuser and try and coax it out of him it will not turn back the clocks. I will still have been abused.

I was considering going to police but I know what the abuser is like and there is a 95.9% he will not own up to the police. He may also go crazy if police brought into matter. On one hand I want justice but justice is not easily come by these days. why do these things have to happen?

Either way this abuser is at large.

I am really cut up about the whole idea of being abused.

If I go to the police it will just set in motion a whole host of other problems, problems which I dont want to face right now. It will just throw my life into turmoil and really stress me out. I want to just forget about the whole thing but keep getting my mind brought back to it. Unforttuantly, that is not easy and I will carry that hurt forever. A hurt which goes really deep. A hurt which makes me so sad. So afraid and so messed up. The hurt is so bad I am really feeling depressed right now.

Not only have I probably been abused (85% chance) it also means having to deal with a whole host of other problems, other than mentioned before.

I am now really angry at the abuser and also having to deal with my anger issues. I am now really stressed out and having to undertake a whole host of other time consuming things.

I just cant believe it happened to me. In fact I am actually tottally convinced I did get abused. The information I have all leads to the road of getting abused.

It may seem like a little thing to you guy and gals but this is a really bad thing for me right now. I hope you all understand.

I feel like I ought to tell my loved ones but that is such a difficult thing to do.

How do I deal with this matter?
 
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Emmy

Guest
This is so awful for you but I must ask what information you have that makes you believe you have been abused?
Did something definately happen but your aren't sure it is classed as abuse or do you think it may of happened but can't remember for sure?
Why have you come to this now?
I am not saying you have not been abused but if you want to take this further the people you talk to will want you to have answers to questions similar to the ones above.

Is there someone who you can talk to about this?
I do hope you get this sorted and get any help you need in the future.
 
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Dollit

Guest
You say you're 85% sure you've been abused so there must be some doubt. Going to the challenge the person you're not sure abused you would be counter productive and the police really can't do anything with someone who just thinks something may have happened.

Can you not talk to a specialist helpline and see if that talking can help you ascertain whether the abuse actually took place or not.

From what you're saying on here we can't really do an awful lot except to maybe point you in the direction of help where you can speak to a person in real life.
 
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shadowmancer

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
6
Location
Devon
I was abused in my early childhood and it has taken me a long time to be able to say that, at first i thought i was going mad wondering why i would think such a thing. I started to get flashbacks when i was about 20 but could'nt admit to myself what they were about (i'm now 35) so i started to drink alot and pretend that nothing was wrong. I had a break down at 25 and finally admitted to myself that i thought i had been abused, i started taking antidepressants and had counciling but could not bring myself to tell the counsellor that i thought i had been abused because i did'nt understand why i was'nt sure. But now i understand that as a copeing mechanism i blocked things out also with me it started so young that i grew up not knowing anything different. It actually took me about 5 years and 3 different counsellors to be able to say it out loud and although i felt a sense of relief for talking about it, it was the start of trying to deal with what had happened to me. I now remember more of what happened which has been difficult to deal with but it means i'm no longer unsure of whether i was abused, i know it happened. I'm still unable to say the dates it happened or what i was wearing when it happened (which is the type of thing needed for prosecution) but that does'nt mean it did'nt happen. I am still trying to find a safe environment to recall furhter details (when i'm on my own i become very panicky when i have a flashback and distract myself from thinking about it because i get suicidal thoughts) i have been on a waiting list for specialist counselling in the area i live and have finally got an appointment for the end of the month after being on a long waiting list.
I guess i just wanted to tell you about what i have been through beause i know how it feels to think you've been abused and the confusion it can bring. I hope you stay strong and access the services that can help you with this. Thinking of you xx:)
 
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duncanw

Active member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
29
Location
Newcastle, UK
Andy

You really need to go and see your GP who can put you in touch with a professional who can help and discuss all of your options. Please don't be embarrassed or afraid, help is waiting there for you.
 
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