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Hyperchick82

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Joined
Sep 1, 2021
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1
Location
England
Hey ppl, iv never done this before but i really need to talk to someone. I'll try explain. Im 39 and i have 3 children. When i had my 1st child i was only 16yrs old n 17 yrs old when i had my 2nd child. I thought i was so in love at the time but he ended up beating me up and i left him when the kids was 2 n 3 yrs old. Iv always stuggled but i never wanted to tell anyone as i didnt want to look like i'd failed as every one thought i would being young. Anyway i left the relationship and it was hard he terriorized me for a while after. Me n my sons stuggled through life. Iv tried to do my best but all i do is worry about everything. Its so hard having your kids depend on u for everything n expect you to do everything n keep them safe when your not sure what the hell your doing. Iv made mistakes along the way. But i have no idea how i even feel anymore.
Anyway 9yrs ago i met another guy we fell in love n i got pregnant again. I had a beautiful baby girl 6 yrs ago.
I loved every minute when she was born but then slowly iv started to feel the same. NUMB. I dont want to feel this way at all. Especially about my children.
Feel like im losing the plot what is wrong with me?
 
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2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
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1,984
Location
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Hey, @Hyperchick82, welcome to the forum. Really hope you can get some useful advice on here, as there are a lot of people who can relate.

Have you gotten any professional help for this, or is this the first place you've reached out? Just wondering if any meds may be causing the issue, I have had this feeling on certain antidepressants. I really am sorry you're feeling like this right now, and hang in there, I'm sure you'll get some advice and at least know you're not alone. Best wishes to you. xx
 
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Bod

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Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Hi Hyperchick82, welcome to the forum hope you can settle in here fine and get the help and advice you may need.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,468
Location
England
Hey ppl, iv never done this before but i really need to talk to someone. I'll try explain. Im 39 and i have 3 children. When i had my 1st child i was only 16yrs old n 17 yrs old when i had my 2nd child. I thought i was so in love at the time but he ended up beating me up and i left him when the kids was 2 n 3 yrs old. Iv always stuggled but i never wanted to tell anyone as i didnt want to look like i'd failed as every one thought i would being young. Anyway i left the relationship and it was hard he terriorized me for a while after. Me n my sons stuggled through life. Iv tried to do my best but all i do is worry about everything. Its so hard having your kids depend on u for everything n expect you to do everything n keep them safe when your not sure what the hell your doing. Iv made mistakes along the way. But i have no idea how i even feel anymore.
Anyway 9yrs ago i met another guy we fell in love n i got pregnant again. I had a beautiful baby girl 6 yrs ago.
I loved every minute when she was born but then slowly iv started to feel the same. NUMB. I dont want to feel this way at all. Especially about my children.
Feel like im losing the plot what is wrong with me?

Welcome. I'm sorry you have been through so much. I wish that you had been cared for a loved by your first partner, and able to enjoy your sons when they were small, being supported and safe. Sadly this doesn't happen for everyone.

Are you still with the second partner?

You have three children now, and you are coping aren't you? Is the numbness depression? When we go through difficult experiences, traumatic experiences, i think it is common to feel low and numb.

Maybe you need some support with what you have been through like some counselling through your GP? Maybe you have become depressed and need some medication to help you function better?

I will post a link to the NHS website that has a short self-test. I find it really helpful to test how i am feeling, and also it helps me spot the signs of depression.

Have you ever spoken to the samaritans? They are there 24/7 and in the past i used them, they were very helpful. I will post the number for you in case you need it.

How are your children doing in their life? If they are having some problems, maybe you could talk to the school or their GP and see if they can get some extra support too. A friend of mine, her son was struggling with anxiety and he had some counselling during school time. It was only for a short time but helped him. Any help is a good thing in this difficult life isn't it.

Please keep writing on the forum and we will try and support you. You are not alone and many here feel similar to you.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Tawny

Tawny

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116123
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
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"It starts as sadness then I feel myself shutting down, becoming less capable of coping. Eventually, I just feel numb and empty."

I just noticed the above quote, on the MIND website for depression.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8,122
Location
England
Hello Hyperchick82, welcome to the forum.
 

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