- Feb 20, 2009
Hey. I live in Elko NV, and I dont think theres even a mental health facility in this little town. So I thought I could get some insight as to what I've experienced since my early teens (I'm 26 now). So, any ideas as to whats going on and what I need to do would be appreciated. I see spiders that arent there constantly...not just when I wake up. Right before I fall asleep, I hear and feel my brain explode - its just a pop inside of my head. I have extreme depression, hear talking that isnt there (usually just one or two words at a time), see flashes of lights randomly, have extreme bouts of violence (which ends up in me slightly stabbing/cutting myself because I dont want to let the rage out on someone else), I catch myself spacing out frequently and just giggling the whole time, and I seriously have the desire to destroy the world. Like... I daydream sometimes and everything around me is on fire, and seeing the people and children running around burning up (in my daydream) gives me such a feeling of delight, and im not sure why. I feel like I may become a danger to other people, because I have such an intense hatred for even strangers, however i dont know where that comes from. I also have a very hard time feeling compassion for others, and identifying with how they are feeling (I usually just wing it).