Help!

[JAWG]

Hi everyone. This is very strange. Never done anything like this before. Desperation I guess! I split up with my girlfriend 8 weeks ago and have fallen into the blackest hole I've ever known. Been depressed 5 times in the last 10 years but this feels the worst. I've tried all the help etc been in and out of hospital but now it seems that even they don't want me. Living at my dads is tough. All I seem to do is survive smoking and reading but nothing makes it go away. I find it so hard to accept the rejection.. that she doesn't want me.. all that's left is me and i'm so scared.. like there is no me and I will feel like this for ever. Suicide is constantly over me but I can't do that to my kids.. but feel like i'm just delaying the inevitable. Help!::drool

 

[companion]

Hi Jawg.

Im sorry to read that you are feeling so low at the moment. Relationship breakdowns are always hard to deal with, often leaving people (regardless of reason) feeling very low, feeling rejected, and feeling like life will never be happy again. It is a scary place to be and one that no one chooses to be in.

I think if you discuss your feelings with most people, they would say that when their relationships have broken down, they felt everything you are feeling, and coped using many different methods - cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs (legal and illegal) are often the most common I believe. Basically, what I am trying to say is that what you are feeling is incredibly natural. However, that does not take away your feelings and I can only pass comment based on what you have said.

If you find that you are struggling to cope and things are getting harder, rather than easier, then maybe you could benefit from discussing these feelings with you GP. If you feel that you cannot, you can always ask to see another doctor for a second opinion. Additionally, you could look at joining a support group that focuses on how you are feeling right now. Please dont give up trying to find a means of help. Some forms of help are more suitable than others and it is just a matter of finding one that works for you.

I know it is tough for you at the moment and I can understand to a degree how you feel. Be strong, because you have so much more to get out of life, whether you realise it or not.

I hope this has helped you a little.

Take care and Ill see you around the fourms soon.

Companion

 

[Dollit]

Remember this too shall pass. It takes time and energy you don't always have to get over a break up especially if you wanted to continue the relationship. But you will get there. Give yourself time and space. Give yourself the time to grieve. And try and do one thing just for yourself everyday.

 

[JAWG]

Thank you

Thank you companion. I saw my son for a few hours yesterday. Made me realise how ill I am. Seeing GP this morning. Got a feeling I will be back in hospital although last time I was there I got the impression they just wanted rid of me. Don't really know what is right. All I seem to do at moment is smoke cigaretttes and walk around. I really appreciate your kind words. I guess what ever happens it's not the end although that's how I seem to permanately feel. Perhaps I will speak again soon. Thankyou

 

[companion]

Hi Jawg.

I hope that your GP appointment went ok and that you were able to share your feelings with them. If you have gone to hospital or not, you know we are all here for you now and/or when you are discharged.

As Dollit has said, just take things one step at a time and prioritise your commitments so that you do not overwhelm yourself at the moment.

Take care and look after yourself

Companion

 

[JAWG]

Maybe one day

Maybe one day i'll have the strength to say I did it my way. Thanks again for your support. I'm a bit stressed about using the forum. . I don't understand how I access different threads or view my own- I only seem to be able to see my thread in the new postings area. Any guidance would be appreciated.

 

[companion]

Try not to let the forum stress you out Jawg.

To see other threads and topics, I just generally use the forum front page and then follow the links to take me to a particular topic such as introductions.

The new posts link above here should show you a list of new posts that other members have submitted.

Use the search function if you wish to search for a particular topic such as depression.

Anything to do with your profile, subscriptions, etc, just follow the UserCP link.

If you are really stuck or have a specific question you can also ask any of the moderators/admins or contact them by using the "contact us" link - also at the top.

I also dont mind helping if you a struggling with the forum accessibility, but I am not an admin or moderator for here.

Take care

Companion

 

[Dollit]

Jawg if you need any help with getting round the forum just click on my name, then send private message to and I'll help all I can.

 

[JAWG]

Still here!

Thanks for help. Breaking up is hard. But I feel that it has triggered this depression. This feels like a fundamental emptiness that I have never experienced before. My bothers and and to a certain extent myself feel that a lack of parental love and f***d up messages have left us with this 'legacy'
I have been seeing a pyscotherapist for 18 months now. Because of how I feel at the moment I am doubting therapy and have been looking at different types. I feel that a lack of touch in therapy is problamatic as I think a lot of damage was done when I was pre-verbal. Just the sight of a mother and baby triggers feelings of emptiness even when i am feeling ok. What scares me right now is the feeling of desperation as i am stuggling to get through the day. Stuck between a rock and a hard place-I feel no hope but can't die because of my kids. I have got out of this before but this feels like the high security prison of depression. Existence!