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Olivethegreat

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Dec 3, 2018
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I looked this up and I think it’s what’s wrong with me. They say I have overactive imagination or that I have bipolar disorder, but the meds don’t work. I was about eight when it Started, fits of mania followed by long depressive slumps, and inbetween, the voices. One tells me to hurt myself, that I don’t matter. The other tells me to kill others and that I am the only person worthy of life.
They often scream at each other and the worst part is they have names.
Not names I gave them, they introduced themselves. As Eros, the violent one, and Apollo the sad one. I think I have entirely lost it. I am so afraid that one of them will win some day and that I may hurt myself or others. I only recently found out my late uncle had schizoaffective disorder and I know it can be hereditary. I saw what he did to my family, how badly her hurt my mom, and himself. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know if I can be treated or if I’m just wating for the other shoe to drop. I’m scared of myself. And I need to know if I can save people from me.
 
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