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Homebound87

Homebound87

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2018
Messages
6
Location
Kentucky
#1
Hi. I've been dealing with agoraphobia,depression,anxiety,panic attacks and social anxiety. I am very alone in this. I'm ashamed of all of this. I've tried to get help for the depression,panic attacks 11 yrs ago and it was very miserable they had me on so many meds my body shut dwn and I ended up in the er. And when I had a panic attack so serve I'd go to the er I was treated as thought I was on drugs or there to get drugs. It was very degrading. After that I stopped trying to get help. Over that time I basically stop living. I stop going places or I'd find away out or cancel all together. I have no friends. My husband and family is all I have. And they say it's just so easy just do it. I wish they felt my head and insides when I even think I have to leave my house. I'm tired of living thuis way. Not just for me but for my son. I've missed so much because of being scared. I've never had a job and that makes me feel so ashamed to even admit it on this forum. I want to be more then what I am.
 
F

Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
261
Location
West Midlands
#2
Hi homebound87

That is a very honest and brave thing you have done by writing that thread. You should be very proud of yourself for doing so and as a recovered agoraphobic, I am very proud of you.

I know how the shame feels, it is horrible and a very lonely feeling. But having recovered and being out the other side, I can tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed about. Nobody can choose what cards they are dealt in life, you are not choosing to be this way, nature has taken you this way. The choice you have in it all is to overcome the condition, but that takes time and planning. It can be done, I have done so many things since my recovery that I never thought I would do!

Try not to think that you have missed out on things, that is the past, it is the future that matters.

Look on this as an example, say for instance a parent cannot get to a school nativity play and they feel bad for not being there for their child, the child may have gained more confidence and resilience for not having both parents at the nativity and this gain could set them up for a life of being able to manage in situations where others can't due to being conditioned into having the support of two parents.

My recovery was by planning and taking things slowly. I made my way to the local shops in stages and I didn't move on too fast. I used relaxation and self help methods. Learning about the condition for me was a big step in getting better.

I retrained my brain, I treated it as a computer, the more self help reading etc I did, the more I retrained my brain to act subconsciously and deal with the feelings for me without me even having to do a thing.

I really hope that you keep coming onto the forum and you can incorporate it as part of your plan to get through things that are difficult for you.:hug1:
 
Homebound87

Homebound87

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2018
Messages
6
Location
Kentucky
#3
Thank you. I've never been called brave before. I needed your message more then you'll ever realize. It is very lonely. And knowing I'm not the only one who deals with this or has dealt with it gives me hope for myself. If you have any website suggestions for self help that would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to find websites but there's so many it's confusing. Thank you again and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.
 
F

Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
261
Location
West Midlands
#4
You are welcome homebound87, I know how you feel. I used to feel like I was stick in this dead end bubble of no life. You are definitely brave, and you will beat this thing. My counsellor told me it was something that I had to 'live through' and not try to 'get rid of' and she was right. You too will live through it and come out the other end, I know you will, it is what happens, there is no doubt about it, but for me making the plan was the key and re-freshing your mind with self help.

The books I have read lately are: rewire your anxious brain and anxiety panicking about panic, available on amazon kindle. Also you could look at this site which is brilliant anxietycoach.com. Anxiety coach.com will tell you mostly what the books tell you, but if you can afford to get just one of the books try anxiety panicking about panic.


xxxx
 
M

MomLeslieM

Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2017
Messages
18
#5
I want to be more then what I am.
I can understand why you stopped trying to get help given what you went through in the past when you tried to get help BUT - knowing you do want to be more than what you are is a step - and getting beyond your agoraphobia and panic attacks takes one step at a time. Set some small goals for yourself in terms of stepping out of your comfort zone little by little - like you did in coming here and posting what you did! It sounds like you have a very supportive husband and family and, even though they can't understand what you are going through they haven't give up on you! That's wonderful! Meds can help but they are not always THE answer - and a lot have also changed in the last 11 years so you might want to try something again BUT I would also suggest that you work with your doctor to find a therapist who specializes in panic and anxiety disorders. There are some things that work with eye movements that help (EMDR) and often being able to talk to a therapist and get some of your feelings out helps too. As you find some coping skills that work for you, you'll be able to begin to feel like you can go do some things with and for your son and with your husband. Praying that you can find the RIGHT help!
 

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