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iamjames1991

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
3
Hi,
I am new to this forum and im looking for people who feel the same or can relate to me.
I have suffered from depression for around 4 years but recently i have become so lost in myself i dont know what to do. I am constantly having horrible thoughts and it keeps me awake at night. I let it all build up because i have lost friends and have no one to talk to about how i feel. Times i let it build up and i end up getting to the point where i really want to hurt myself. I lost my mum coming up to two years now from a heart attack at the age of 39 and i am constantly living in the past in my mind and i cant help it. I dont speak to any of my family so i dont know how to grieve properly.
I am dreading mothers day alot.
Thanks for reading.
 
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Hundjager

Active member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
33
Location
Huddersfield
Hi, and welcome to the forum!

I know the feeling of being depressed long term and feeling like it affects every part of your life. Have you been to the doctors? Maybe you would benefit from talking to the psychological services in your area or just talking to a doctor, or even getting set up to see a counselor.

I am sorry to hear about your mum. the thing with grief, is that everyone deals with grief differently. There is no right or wrong way. However, if its becoming debilitating, then the best thing that you can do is talk to someone. There isn't much I can really say when it comes to this but I hope I helped! even just a little bit.
 
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iamjames1991

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
3
Hi,
Thankyou for replying to my thread means alot.
I have been referred to phycological therapy before but havent followed through with it as i hardly leave the house (my own doing i guess).
I am just lost at the moment i really dont know who i am anymore.
Anyway thanks for replying and for your advise.
 
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iamjames1991

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
3
And i have been to the doctors and was reffered to my local mental health team. I was on medication for lack of sleep but it made me feel like a zombie
 
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Hundjager

Active member
Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
33
Location
Huddersfield
A lot of the time medication can make you feel like that, but sometimes it take a bit of chopping and changing to find the medication that suits you well, or whether you should be on medication at all (I learned that I shouldn't after trying around 25 different medications including treatment resistant medication).

I completely understand that you find it difficult to leave the house. That's something that takes time. My suggestion would be to set 3 different times in the day where you go outside for 5 minutes. You can go for a walk down the street, around the block or just sit in your garden (if you have one) after the first week, maybe extend it to ten minutes? Personally this helped me greatly to the point where going to the psychological services once a week wasn't such a big deal anymore.

The part about not feeling like you know who you are anymore. Again this is a difficult one. Personally, what helped me with that was rediscovering my hobbies. Not ones like watching tv or gaming, more-so the productive hobbies. I used to really enjoy sewing when I was younger so I started making little plush toys for my nephews etc. if you can find something like that it may also help you.
 
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Crazy Lady In Stanton

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
1,536
Location
Stanton, CA
I am sorry you lost your mom. I hope I don't offend you with what I am about to say. I know that no one can ever replace your mom, but I am a woman a little older than she would be if she were still here, and if you ever need someone older to talk to, you can PM me any time. Again, I am so sorry about your grief.

Hundjager's advice about going to the doctor and stepping outside a few times a day is good advice. In fact, I think I'll try going outside a few times a day myself.

Sending you lots of love and a big hug. :hug1:
 
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