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A

Annieec

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
5
Hi,

This is my first post. I'm 34 and have 3 children under 4. The youngest is 8 weeks old, then 2 and 3. My husband is in the armed forces. We have recently moved house at 36 weeks pregnant so we are closer to our families but are still living in a married quarter. My husband works 2 hours away so is only home at weekends. He goes back to work week sunday.

I had a c section, the 3rd, then another operation last week.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm so tearful all the time. Last night I was sobbing Christmas night I sobbed silently into my pillow when hubby was asleep next to me. Christmas day is was a mess at his parents house.

Our 3rd son was a pill baby, we didn't plan to have anymore. I don't feel a connection with him. My husband only visited once in hospital after the c section as he had the other two to look after. The other ladies had their partners cooing over their babies but hubby brought our eldest in and was so stressed that he wouldn't sit still. They stayed about 20 mins. He didn't bother coming in for the other operation. He had 3 children to look after I guess.

I feel detached from him, like now, I'm lying in bed in my pjs, baby in bed but I want to go downstairs and be with him and the children but I don't want them to see me upset. Sometimes I feel like I just want to hurt myself so I'll have a 'physical ' problem to recover from because when I've been upset infront of anyone before I'm told there there, oh look x child wants a drink, a bottle, is fighting with Y child, other one is screaming...
 
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A

Annieec

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
5
My gp gave me a prescription for post natal depression but I can't find my maternity exception card so haven't got them yet.

My brother is 37 and has manic depression skitzophrenia anxiety agoraphobia so I know what pills can do to people.
There are so many things to sort out I don't have time to be ill but really feel like I could do with a few weeks in hospital so we can address all the problems but hubby can't be off work as they're gearing up for a 9 month deployment.
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
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Hey Annie and welcome to the forum.

It's been a tough few weeks hasn't it :hug1:

Of course we aren't Doctors but what screams out at me is Post Natal Depression and maybe some Post Tramatic Stress Disorder.

I just wanted to say that it's ok to feel how you feel and I'm sorry that your husband doesn't seem to be supportive. Do you think you could sit down with him at some point soon and talk to him about how you are feeling? Or a close family member or friend.

I think you really do need to talk to someone hun and tell them how you are feeling. When is your Health Visitor next due to visit you, have you got her number.

As I said before it's ok to feel like you do. The fact that at the moment you don't feel any connection with your baby happens to a lot of people.

Here is a link for you. Have a look through and see whether it says anything for you.

Postnatal depression - NHS Choices

There are a lot of mothers on here so hopefully one will be along to talk to you more.

Have a little look round and keep posting :)

More :hug1:'s

Marliee x
 

MarlieeB

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My gp gave me a prescription for post natal depression but I can't find my maternity exception card so haven't got them yet.

My brother is 37 and has manic depression skitzophrenia anxiety agoraphobia so I know what pills can do to people.
There are so many things to sort out I don't have time to be ill but really feel like I could do with a few weeks in hospital so we can address all the problems but hubby can't be off work as they're gearing up for a 9 month deployment.
Ah you posted this while I was typing out my other post.

Have you got any money at all that you could buy your prescription. You can get a refund on it once you find your exception card.

Please go and get them, by any means.

It is very rare that you will be admitted to hospital if I'm going to be honest with you. They like to treat people outside of hospital where possible.

x
 
A

Annieec

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
5
Thanks for the reply.

My hubby is supportive he just thinks I can be cured with 'oh well, can't change the situation so get on with it.'

Today he's going out, he's been looking forward to it for weeks. I can't go upset things now. He said this morning when he saw me upset that he wouldn't go but he will.. He says he won't but it's like something he says so I say, something like.. 'It's ok I'm just emotional there's nothing wrong' etc etc then he'll go. I'll crack up and end up getting ratty with the oldest and smacking him. Sometimes I really want to wallop him when he's naughty. But he's not naughty, he's bored. I don't play with him anymore, they love it when I sit down and get their cars old and role play with them but I just don't feel up to it at the moment. Hubby is a medic so he probably knows how I feel and is pushing it aside because he knows what medication can do to people.
 
A

Annieec

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
5
We have money for the prescription we just haven't been out as I've been on antibiotics for the other op that finished yesterday.
 

MarlieeB

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Yeah, that is a annoying phrase isn't it.

I do think you need to maybe talk to your Health Visitor or Midwife about how you are feeling if possible or even someone else neutral who can maybe talk to him about how you are feeling.

PND is a silent illness, like any other depressions, there is also a lack of understanding from most people.

Do you think that the real reason why you aren't collecting your prescription is because you don't want to take any at all? There is nothing wrong with that at all of course :)

x
 

MarlieeB

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What about some talking therapies then?

Can you go back to your GP and tell them about your concerns over medication?

x
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
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Location
The West Country
I'm ever so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much, especially with your new baby. :hug1:
Post-natal depression must be so difficult.

I think that it may be worth trying to get your prescription if you can. You never know, it might help you.
Also, remember to keep communicating with your doctor or health visitor.
You are unwell and so remember you have no reason to be ashamed for what you are thinking and feeling.
The most important thing is that people who are around you know how you feel on a day-to-day basis and can be there to give you extra support.
 
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