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LemonOzie

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Dec 15, 2014
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2
Every year I tell myself ill get help, and every spring and summer im so happy I decide I dont need help. Then september rolls round and the fear andanxiety starts. Now here I am in december again and im so depressed im frightening myself.

I have amazing friends, a loving family, a job I enjoy, im just back from a mini break with my friends, and im still sat crying in bed, hungry but too sad to eat, lonely but too exhausted to ask for help, searching through websites for someone, anyone who can help me. Please.

I know come March ill feel better, but im not sure whether its the wait or the fear it won't get better thats killing me. I cant go on like this. I feel like my brains a haze. All I know is i have work tomorrow, and thats as far in to the future as I can see. I cant make plans. I need to feel better. I cant go through another year like this.

My family and friends get that im "down" but I live alone and im not the kind to complain. Please tell me what to do. I feel like a tonne weight. In the summer I go to the gym, see my family, plan days out. These months I go to work. Thats all. I havent even been shopping ive been buying odds and ends from the corner shop. I know getting out and making plans work make me better but I cant. I cant. Im smart enough to know what it is and how to fix it but I cant find the motivation.

Im honestly frightened of my own mind. Ive suffered so many losses that im a smart logical person. I know people have it worse and itll get better, but I feel on knife edge. Getting through work without crying is a struggle now. Please someone help me.
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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Hi lemonOzie, :hi:
Welcome to the forum.
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles.
This forum is very supportive.
 
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LemonOzie

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Joined
Dec 15, 2014
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Thank you for your kindness. I feel like no one believes seasonal affection disorder is a thing. Can cold and dark really make me feel this desperate? Is it stupid? Is it just underlying depression issues? Ive never spoke to anyone with sad but I cant go on like this every year
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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There is such a thing as S.A.D. For me, if you feel it as your reality, then, it affects you. I don't believe it is stupid at all. Cold and dark affect me too. I am sensitive to energies. You might have underlying depression issues, i wouldn't wish to diagnose. :hug1:
 

MarlieeB

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:welcome: to the forum.

That IMO does sound like SAD. For me it's the perfect (well not perfect) months in the year for it.

There is a lack of understanding around SAD. Have you ever considered buying a SAD light that might help in the dark mornings?

If not I would suggest you try and buy one and see whether that helps at least a little and then go from there?

Marliee x
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I suffer with depression but i do find I become more irrational and low once October comes round. I don't have any advice though I'm afraid as I take medication and find myself still miserable. I Just hope for an early spring :)
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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SAD is a recognised form of depression as far as i am aware. A SAD light may be useful. Think you need to start using it in September for best effect ie before the depression kicks in. Dont know if you have got SAD. I dont but depression for me does seem worse in winter in general and anxiety worse in summer
 
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