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Help with undiagnosed bipolar 2 wife

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Chris3141

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Apr 9, 2019
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68
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New york
Yea your right, my biggest fear is that she is BP. Atleast if she left me cuz we wernt compatible even though that hurts cuz I feel inadequate especially with how hard I tried but atleast she wont suffer with this disease for the rest of her life. Plus I'm afraid that if she is BP and goes into depression, with all of the choices she has made if they wernt what she really wanted then when she comes out of mania that she might really get depressed and hurt herself as she has mentioned hurting herself when she was a kid and also ending herself so she doesnt bring anyone else pain. When we go to her appointment I plan on telling her that if she ever gets the urge to hurt herself to let me know and I will be there for her no matter what. I dont care if I get used as long as I know she doeant hurt herself. I know the suicide rate for BP people is high and with her mentioning it and telling me she hurt herself as a kid I think the possibility is even higher.
 
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tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Oct 30, 2010
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Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Jeez! Is bipolar the modern day leprosy or what? Some things are simple. If you have BP you must take medications and remain compliant. It will likely take a few med trials to find the right mix for you. The meds will limit the mood swings. Some can work, many cannot but here, in the US, it is eligible for government financial assistance (not much!) I appreciate the simple, basic things in life having struggled with them I have seen the futility of materialism. Now, my fiancee for over 10 years also has BP. Sounds chaotic doesn't it? It is the opposite. We respect ourselves, each other and the relationship. We live with acceptance and tolerance We know that we can't afford drama and stress. We take our meds. We may have an illness but we still have boundaries and decency. We have trust as the foundation of our relationship. I don't know how you could regain trust, perhaps couple's counseling. But nothing is going to improve unless she gets medical treatment.
 
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Chris3141

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New york
I didnt mean it to sound like a death sentence or anything.
 
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EstherRose94

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Mar 2, 2019
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USA
It’s more like if she doesn’t have it under control that’s an issue. If she was taking care of herself like tiltawhirl it would be totally different, so I understand like there might be related issues but her possible diagnosis itself isn’t necessarily the problem.
 
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Chris3141

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New york
My mother who is bp1 which I just found out a few weeks ago really believes my ex is BP. Also my friend who I work with and his wife who is BP believes the same thing, he even went so far as to day he would bet his whole life salary on it. I know they arnt psychs but that really makes me feel like I might be right. I wish I could show you all the txt messages I get where she is says things and then the exact opposite in the same breath. She has been all over the place and just doesnt make any since. Also she is spending money like crazy. She just went and got an iPhone which I have no idea where she would have gotten the money for... they also went to buffalo which when I used to go with her was easily $500 a trip. I will let you know what the psych says on the 29th but I will be shocked if she is in the right mind set. This is not the normal her I can guarentee that.
 
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EstherRose94

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USA
I am clearly firing on all cylinders, I read went to Buffalo as went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I was like okay now that’s not all that expensive I think that one’s fine haha.
 
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MisterMichael

Active member
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Apr 9, 2019
Messages
28
Location
Tennessee
Dump this woman, my wife has history of being in pys hospitals and she was in psychosis for around 3 weeks in jail for assault with weapon on police, before I bonded her (700 miles away in another state) to be put in a mental hospital. I have and will support her but she must help herself this time. That is bi polar and who knows I may still take her back but doubt it. She won't stay on meds and now she's on the street and told a friend at church that our 10 and 12 yr old boys don't need her. That they are raised. That's bipolar mental illness. Flaunting men and suspicious activity not necessarily bipolar. You will get great relief by making a decision on dealing with her.
 
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Chris3141

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Apr 9, 2019
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68
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New york
My ex has never done anything that crazy atleast not yet anyway. This is the most crazy thing she has ever done but like ppl have said this doesnt mean she is BP just acting in a out of the norm behavior so I have no idea. It does seem like she has many of the symptoms. I wish it were as easy as you say to just dump the women but regardless I will probably always care for her. We had alot of great times together and I loved her as I really thought we were soul mates. But I do not have any control of the future and who knows what it will bring. I do not have any clue on what I will do if she wants to come back and gets herself help but the good thing is I dont have to make any decisions till that day comes if ever. She was a sweet and caring wife but when she stops sleeping she would get very hard to live with cause everything had to be her way. I wish I saw this earlier cuz maybe I would have recommended that she get looked at earlier. Plus I feel like I owe it to my kids to do what I can for their mother.
 
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Chris3141

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New york
Well that was fun. She wants the kids to stay over the night at her house that has a total of 5 ppl living there. I shot that down fast and hard. Luckily she backed off before I had to get aggressive.
 
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Yodagirl

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Mar 9, 2019
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Georgia USA
Well that was fun. She wants the kids to stay over the night at her house that has a total of 5 ppl living there. I shot that down fast and hard. Luckily she backed off before I had to get aggressive.
Good choice, the kids definitely shouldn’t be in that environment. To be honest I wouldn’t let the kids be unsupervised with her at all in her current state. The kids need you to keep them protected, I’m sure you would be absolutely devastated if something were to happen to them.
 
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Yodagirl

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Georgia USA
And if it were me I would get a protective order in place. And document all conversation and such. If not it could come back to bite you in the A** if she decides to go forward with a divorce and fight for the kids.
 
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Chris3141

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Apr 9, 2019
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68
Location
New york
My concern is that I have no real proof that she is anything other than a cheater who moved in with her affair partner. I dont know If I can in anyway keep her from her kids... and would that not look bad on me if I try. I know I read online that trying to hoard your kids can look negatively in court.
 
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Yodagirl

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Mar 9, 2019
Messages
626
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Georgia USA
Where are you located if you don’t mind me asking. In some states adultery is taken very serious. I’m not saying keeping them from her completely. But being there when she does. Because it can also seem to courts that you don’t have the best interest of the kids.
 
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