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Help with my elderly mother.

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bigskypc50

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Townsend,MT
Hello all, my first post here. I am hoping I can get someones advice or input. Sorry it's a novel

My mom is 69 years old and it overall fair to poor health, she in a wheel chair if she has to walk more then 50-75ft eaten up with bad back and rheumatoid arthritis and lots of pain. None of that is contributing to good mental health. But most of the time she holds it together and is pretty awesome. How every as of late, she has a 2nd bad run in with psychosis. Her and I are close likely to close getting in co-dependent land, couple of years ago I was working a job I hated and it showed I was gone for 12-15 hours a day. so she got stressed out about it and got depressed and entered into psychosis at the time I did not know what it was. But she would see and hear all kinds of stuff and would spend hours doing simple tasks see bugs all over the house slur her speech talk total non sense etc. And sleep a ton with her eyes open talking and moning etc in her sleep. Long story short she ended up burning her hip on a heating pad sleeping around the clock. Ended up getting sepioss spend one week in ICU and six weeks in a nursing home/rehab. I quit my job and got hired to care for her full time now, and everything has been wonderful since. Until the last month or so. She is doing all of that now expect the bug problem.


As of the last few months we had to make a move from the old trailer house that a snow storm totaled (roof partially fell in), and at the time the elderly man next door also had damage and I was already helping him do stuff, so long story short all three of us ended up buying a house about 150 miles away, and I have been living here doing a work exchange thing for the rent etc. He says he wants to give me the house after his passing etc but it’s not 100% known. Part of this work exchange is he is living in the shop in a RV and will come into the house three times day to use the bathroom etc. My mom use to sleep out in the living room in her recliner, and after about three months of the arrangement she started having a touch of psychosis, because she was uneasy when he would come in in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, she felt on display I totally understand that and I moved her into her bedroom with a TV recliner etc so she no longer has to see him, but still worries about running into him etc. She got better for a short time, but has gotten a lot worse.

Long story short, the new living arrangement is not what we thought it would be, he’s an awesome guy but has many quirks and is pretty controlling of what we can do to and in the house, I feel like a rental tenant when in the start of this he was like ya it will be your house do what you want. Her and I have been on are own since 1998, doing what we want and how we want etc. Frankly for a host of other reasons, I myself and not doing ok with this new living arrangement, and nor is she. For a while it made me really upset until I started to adjust and I think with the co-dependentness she was feeding of my fear and un-happiness also. I still am not totally happy here per say. I don’t she is either.

Also along with moving comes new doctors and they have been really stressing her out having here come in every few day to two weeks to run test’s after test’s many times 5 of the same test’s, it’s a crappy doctors, and we already decided to change and I keep telling her she don’t have to go back there but, I don’t see that light up in her face. But If I talk about moving or buying a mobile home her face lights up, so I believe it’s a mixed bag of high stress doctors and new living situation that has sent her over the edge. I know your thinking well hell just move or change your living situation, only problem is like most of the USA, we are broke, and sadly stuck under this roof with this edealy man looming over head all the time.

However I can’t really get a straight answer out of her, I don’t know if it’s the living situation or the doctors and her health etc. I don’t know what to do to get talking straight to me and tell me what is going on for real. Sadly after reading some stuff online, I may have not been the most supportive and soft as I am scared etc and she thinks I am a bad person trying to send her away etc etc, But starting today I am approaching her with a whole new attudite, and maybe I can get somewhere.

As that guy said in that old debt commercial "somebody please help me”, I am starting to fall apart trying to keep everything going him her and entire house with 7 cats
 
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bigskypc50

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Townsend,MT
EDIT: every time I ask her what is wrong she says northing she is fine, just tired, but other times it's the doctors and normally when I asked about our landlord pretty much she says don't want to move but is happy here. Again it changes all the time. She is on risperidone, maybe that is why the bug problems hasn't come back
 
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Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
193
Location
UK
Hi bigskypc50,

Really sorry to hear about your mum and the living arrangement. Does she have psychosis as a side effect of dementia? I don't know if I know enough to suggest anything but I really hope it gets better for you.
 
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bigskypc50

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Townsend,MT
Hello, no she is still pretty sharp mental normally, no signs of dementia at all. Thanks, feel free to hit me with any thoughts advice you might have.

She is really no harm to herself of anyone, the only way should could hurt herself is falling, but I am reluctant to force her to a hospital get treatment if to many doctors is really the problem
 
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Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
193
Location
UK
Hello, no she is still pretty sharp mental normally, no signs of dementia at all. Thanks, feel free to hit me with any thoughts advice you might have.
If the risperidone isn't managing her psychosis there might be other medications to be tried?

I found isolation really didn't help my psychosis, are there any social groups near you that she could visit? Even a church group or something? Especially if you can explain she's suffering slightly with psychosis to people who are understanding.

It sounds like your housing situation isnt helping but well done for literally getting a roof over your head.

I really hope someone more helpful comes along.

Edit - has she had her vitamin levels checked? I don't know if it's usual for someone of her age to develop psychosis for the first time? I really hope the doctors find something.
 
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