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Help With Long-Term Relationship w/ BPD girl?

K

kipling79

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
1
Hello,

I am a 35 year old male and beginning my 3rd year with a 34 year old female (4th year if you count our year together back in college).

It is very likely that she suffers from one or more personality disorders (BPD most likely). She is a wonderful partner and has many goals in life, but her self-destructive behavior has never allowed her to succeed in relationships or any career. These traits range from excessive alcohol use, little respect for laws and rules, the push away/pull back cycle, and an ever present belief that she is being prejudiced due to her skin, height, and gender.

I am sure that the only reason we are still together is because I truly do love her, (mostly) accept her ways, and never let her run me over. But we still need help.

All of the "self help" stuff that I have read suggests that there is nothing I can do do help, but I do not believe this. She doesn't like to talk about these problems, and doubt she would seek help, so I am looking for things I can do to better the situation.

Any good advice from others dealing with these things as far as how to work with your BPD partner?
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Hi, I'm new here but have read lots of articles via the net.
Gettinbetter.com I found very useful for guidance and understanding.
 
vanish

vanish

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Sep 29, 2014
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The Land of Oz
Have you ever read a book entitled 'Stop Walking On Eggshells'? It is quite good on how to survive in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Having said that my ex-girlfriend is BPD and she swears she is recovered from it. I find little of her actual behaviour is changed and I doubt it ever will. The whole black and white thinking, the blame-shifting, the constant need for attention, the push away-pull back behaviours... I loved her dearly and still do, but I for my own sanity (even though it was her that called the relationship off), I had to let her go.
 
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