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Help with general decision making

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SB

New member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
2
I have had very bad symptoms of generalised anxiety for a long time now. I find decisions impossible now, even the smallest decisions. I have a lot of big decisions I need to make that cause a lot of anxiety, and now even supposedly simple decisions are impossible and cause lots of stress. Whatever decision I have to make my anxiety is terrible and I seem to make the wrong decision. I cant really trust instinct anymore as my anxiety masks that. Does anyone have any techniques that help with decision making.
 
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Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
533
Location
West Midlands
I know how it feels when you get so confused that you just make a wrong decision. It is horrible and it makes me feel small, that is the best way to describe it.

Then I ask people and they end up confusing the situation even more.

All I can do when I find decisions hard to make is to just relax and empty my head of decision making. Then the answers seem to come and not all at once, but they do come.

Sorry I can't be more help, and I really hope you get you decision making sorted out.
 
5

5577m

Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Messages
13
Hi, Something simple that can help sometimes for bigger decisions is to (don't know if you've already done this)

1. Write down your options that you're choosing between - now imagine yourself saying yes to one option and having decided that you will do that. Wait for a time and see how you feel or what thoughts or concerns happen. Notice if you feel relieved or calm/ content against feeling more troubled.

2. Compare this to how you feel after saying yes to the other options.

3. If you find it easier another way is to see what its like to say no to an option and imagine that the decision has been made - and then compare.

The above way is more about a gut or emotional reaction, but I appreciate it may be more challenging with anxiety. At times I take a break from decisions if I'm feeling too stressed about them and do something different or have a cup of tea.

You could also write a list of pros and cons for each option and see if the cons could be overcome.

also, checking out your decision with someone who you trust with listening skills and able to reflect back and help you process what you're thinking can be helpful,or someone knowledgeable about the issue. If you're stuck for someone sometimes a chat with trained in listening skills like the Samaritans might be helpful - but they aren't meant to advise but they may help you work it through.

Having reread your post, it also sounds like it would be helpful to practise 'not sweating the small stuff'. I hope that someone else with more experience may be able to offer helpful tips for that.

Hope you feel better soon - take care
 
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InfiniteRectangles

InfiniteRectangles

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
508
Location
Georgia, USA
I struggle with this too. I'm in college and choosing a major was hell for me. I've already changed it two years in. Decision-making is very hard for me. It's one of the things I'm working on in therapy. My therapist says I have a problem of avoidance. If I can't make a decision, then I avoid the situation altogether. It really makes life harder so I completely understand what you're going through. One thing I do to try and help me make a decision is to weigh the pros and cons of each decision. For example, choosing between English and Psychology as my major, I weighed the pros and cons of each. Anyway, I chose Psychology because I decided I want to work one on one with people, like being a therapist, which was a major pro for me.

I guess my point is, making a decision is hard, but weighing the pros and cons help me a little. And if that gets overwhelming then I step back and try to clear my head and let a decision come to me naturally. I find that the more I dwell on it, the harder it is to decide. But if I must decide and a decision isn't coming naturally, then I weigh the pros and cons.
 
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Ann10

New member
Joined
Oct 23, 2017
Messages
3
It is a good idea to write a list of pros and cons. If you have a list, you can think about all the angles ahead of time.

How have you made decisions in the past? Sometimes I rely on others to help me. At other times I go by my own feelings or thoughts. If I am making a bad decision, my body will let me know. The signs of an unwise decision for me are insomnia or feeling tense.

I hope you can get some help for your anxiety.
 
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