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Help with emotions and dating!

KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

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Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
It’s been a while since I posted….I have a job at a pet store and found myself becoming infatuated with a coworker who is nearly 17 years younger than me and is 19. It’s an obsession really. I want to end it so I can move on with my life. It’s not healthy.

However finding a guy my age who actually wants to date me is hard. Maybe I give off a funky vibe that repels guys. Maybe it’s how I look. If it’s the latter I’m not interested in changing my appearance just to suit some guy rather I want to find a guy who likes me for me.

Anyways, I found out this coworker is dating another coworker in the company and it’s caused me to become depressed and do rather self destructive behavior. Nothing much, just taking sleeping pills so i was asleep the past day I had off. I didn’t want to be able to think. That leads to deeply disturbing thoughts and I don’t want them.

I guess I need help but where do I start? I don’t know…..
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
I….I can’t sleep and I don’t want to take sleeping pills for a third time because I have work in the AM..what do I do?
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
I’m……really raw…..and thinking about checking into the psychiatric hospital. Fleeting dark thoughts have crossed my mind…those kinds of thoughts.
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
Then again all they do is “adjust medications” until you’re in a drugged up stupor..
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
2,720
Location
Canada
How are you feeling now? Is it this one guy in particular or you don't like feeling alone?
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
Honestly, I don’t know anymore. I just hate being lonely. I’m trying to see a therapist and arranging things but I’m barely able to keep things together. It’s all I can do not to cry at work. What did I do wrong?
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
2,720
Location
Canada
I don't think you did anything wrong. I know what it feels like to be lonely, it sucks and it's hard sometimes. But it's best to understand being with the wrong person is even worse. Try to focus on things that make you happy.. what makes you happy?
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
2,720
Location
Canada
Something to help take your mind off it for a bit.. movies? Music? Nature?
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
2,720
Location
Canada
What do you need? I mean what would help?
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
A therapist. I’m sitting in my car. With the engine running and crying……I don’t want to go home but I have no place to go. I’m sick. Really sick. I don’t think I feel safe behind the wheel.
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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Feb 15, 2021
Messages
2,720
Location
Canada
You shouldn't drive them. You should call for help.. I don't know the numbers but I can find someone who does. Just turn off the engine and don't drive OK?
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
Who do I call? The National suicide hotline was no help…….
 
KaoticKiss

KaoticKiss

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2020
Messages
132
Location
Charlotte, NC
I don’t want an ambulance. Too expensive. And its hot out I need the air on.
 

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