Help with BPD

I

iab m

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Joined
Nov 12, 2014
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2
#1
Hello all,

I'm trying to seek some help and support.

I have a friend who I believe may be suffering from BPD. Or possibly another form of Mental Health.

I'm trying to help this friend as best I can but at the moment they don't want the help although they know they have an issue.

They fit into many of the criteria for BPD however as I'm still studying psychology I can't make a clinical diagnosis.

I'm just looking to see if I can find someone I can talk to (email would be ideal) and share my information with them and get advice on how to talk to them about it.

It's hard to talk about and when challenged or given any form of confrontation the barriers go up and the whole thing then escalates and I'm trying not to do that.

Obviously I won't go into too much detail on here but if you think you could help me that would be great. Please send me a message.

I will look forward to all your help and it is appreciated too!

Thank you!
 
M

my-straightjacket-please

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Aug 13, 2013
Messages
559
Location
im gone take care email if you want its in my prof
#2
you can talk yo me or any others but most all of us here know and tell

you cant help them

it takes admitting there's a problem

it takes finding out what that diagnoses is

and number one everyone quits on it takes cemented dead on commitment to take and stay treatment

im 6 or so years of recovery years i wish i had before

but it took a swat team and me saying enough i want better there threats of committing meant nothing

it was me wanting my life better me staying a year or more of drugs trying to find right ones and combos etc

me committing to listen to counselors and put it into my everyday

most wont commit to that much or quit half way or first med problem

me i committed no matter the problem im being and staying a better person and commitment and work gave me as close to recovery

as i can hope for never over or fixed always glitches and symptoms but better

good luck feel free to pm or use my email link
 
I

iab m

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
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#3
Hello my-straightjacket-please,

Thank you for your reply! Firstly I am glad you replied and also glad you are now getting help too! Well done! I know it takes a lot of courage to admit there is a problem and get help for it!

I could't find your email link so I thought I would comment back on here.

The person who I suspect has BPD does fit into the criteria that is outlined in the DSM-5 manual that is used by clinicians around the world for diagnosing such a disorder.

My biggest challenge at the moment is talking to the person about it. We have only just started talking again as friends after a bust up so I don't want to damage that again. The other issue is the person can't see they have a problem. To them their behaviour is 'normal' when in fact is is damaging and could have serious consequences!

Here in the UK a person can only get help in three ways, 1, if they ask for the help and present themselves to a professional, 2, if their next of kin is worried and makes a referral and three if the police see them as a risk then they can order the help via the courts. In each of the three cases neither apply as the person in question will not accept there is a problem (yet) as they can't see what other people can see, their next of kin isn't aware of what is happening as they don't live with each other and finally at the moment the police wouldn't get involved as there is no risk to others or the public.

What I am willing to do is help this person as I'm someone that deep down they can trust. the relationship we have to them is very much I hate you, don't leave me. And I intend to try my best to help this person as much as I can as I can see they are not in a happy place no matter how much of a brave face and lies they tell.

I have a number of reasons for thinking they have BPD and have the evidence and incidents to back this up but as they are personal I won't post them on here. If we can email though and you think you can help me in terms of how to break the ice, how to talk to them and how to get answers out of them that would be brilliant!

No matter what has happened between me and this person I am not willing to give up on them and I will always try and make time for them. At the moment though it is hard as part of their behaviour at the moment is to run away from problems, meet people for sexual iterations, spend money they don't have and so on. This then makes it hard to talk to them and I have to wait for them to message me.

Hopefully this all makes sense and I will look forward to your reply and anyone else who comes across this thread and thinks they could help!

The last thing I want to do is wash my hands of them and leave them to it knowing they can't manage as well as they could do with help.

Thank you for reading!

Ben
 
V

Verity

Guest
#4
Iab,

I think that the best thing that you could do for your friend is just be there for them and accept them for who they are.

I believe that you have good intentions regarding your friend's well being. However, mental health & distress is very complex. You could harm your friend and friendship with them by labelling them with a diagnosis that you & none of us are in a position to make.

Be there for your friend, focus on nurturing your friendship with him, which he will be glad of whether or not he has a mental health issue. If he engages in behaviour that endangers him or others, safeguard him by referring to an appropriate professional or emergency service.

Many people displace their problems in sexual encounters, overspending or simple avoidance. Maybe the problem he is running away from is not BPD, but a friend who is overstepping his boundaries? Just a thought.

Support is available on here should you or your friend need it, but please tread carefully.
 
M

my-straightjacket-please

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im gone take care email if you want its in my prof
#5
like i told you you cant make them even uk forced they resent you parent cops etc and drop out low success rate

i said and i mean we have to find on our own like said support my wife put up with 5 years of hell until i said enough no more

you cant get that commitment by any person if its forced

lets make it easy whats the success rate of drug and other rehab programs where there forced low

where they commit high

want no bs judgmental talks or ideas im bpd bipolar adhd and to many other letters to name or just to quiz investigate my insanity lmao just ask but be warned my insanity is contagious

no judgment just support its hard to watch people we care for in downward or self destructive spirals

so hey talk vent be upset but please dont force it wont work like so many bipolars quit meds i made a commitment no matter the hell it would be im never stopping

same with counseling never cured i have manic or depressed etc but not pits and easy to pull myself out

my counselor has trouble finding what to talk in sessions because of progress and shit no one can fix from my past

best wishes

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

They said I could be anything, so I became myself.
Anonymous

I'd rather die weird and remembered over original and forgotten.
Nikki Bailey Singer

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Helen Keller

remember love comfort and support does more than force love can destroy the dark destroy hatred compassion is the best gift to give in life no judgment is the second
 
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#7
Hi iab m, it is fantastic you are trying to help your friend and learn more about the human mind. I hope you get the help you need.
 

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