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Help...What's wrong w/my son????

M

Molly

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
2
My 21yr old son joined the military a couple years ago & about a year ago he asked me if I would be his girlfriend (after just breaking up with his girlfriend) & I was in total shock. He then asked me if I would have sex with him!! I was so freaked out,I went to see a therapist to find out what was wrong w/my son. She basically said that she had never seen or heard of anything like this & that he should seek therapy. He did see a therapist a couple times, but obviously nothing ever came of it. Im sure it was a military therapist. Now that he has deployed, im seeing more & more problems. He asked me if he could take pictures of me in my underwear, when he comes home on vacation..He said because I have a beautiful body. Im just totally disgusted & don't know what to do. Now before you jump to conclusions & assume he has ptsd or that he's stressed because he's at war, all of these thoughts & feelings were apparent even before deployment & quite possibly before even joining the military. I only became aware of his thoughts after he joined. Im so worried about him. So many times he also asks me if he can wear his underwear around the house when he comes home. The other day he sent me a text message to a porn sight. He just doesn't seem to understand that thing's you share with your girlfriend, are thing's you don't share w/your mom! He can't seem to diferentiate between the two relationship's. Awhile back he told me he wanted to go camping w/me when he comes home & that he wanted me to sleep in the tent w/him. I told him that wasn't going to happen. He also said that since he's deployed, he's having a lot of problems where he will have ejaculation at times when he's not even thinking about sex, just through the course of the day. He did see a Dr for this problem & he wears "special underwear" & had his prostate checked, but im not sure what they told him the problem was. he always gets upset when I tell him these are not normal thoughts or behaviors. He says he just wants to be close to me & I try to explain to him that a mother & son dont sleep together & that we can still sit by the fire & chat, but we dont need to actually sleep together. Im just so sick about this, so please don't respond by telling me my son is a freak &/or a sicko. That's not the kind of help im looking for. I have two questions: first of all, has anyone ever heard of this problem..and how do you classify it? And secondly, what can be done about it? He obviously needs a lot of help, but if he's 21 & out of the household, what can I possibly do? Please help, my son & I always had a good relationship & nothing weird. His father passed away when he was 11 & i know that's been difficult, to say the least, but he seems to have greaved in the normal way & he really is a wonderful, caring person. Please help
 
S

saffron

Guest
Firstly we would never say that about your son Hun.
you must be a your wits end. you feel hurt and understandable, but your son has been through such a lot in his young life, and seen more than any of us, he is going through a really confused and scared time it seems.
PTSD can affecct people in different ways, Is there anywhere you can get professional advice on how to help your son?
He really should be receiving some sort of counselling at present. A lot of soldiers find it really hard to return to civilian life again and if that is comined with PTSD he could display quite unstable behaviour which could include what your son is doing. Do lots of research about it on the internet, this may give you help as well.
Be brave for your son. Thinking of you.
S:hug:
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi Molly I wouldnt say that your son is a sicko in the way that you percieve sicko but I would say that you are rreacating in the right because whilst you dont like the way that hes behaving in the things taht he says, when i first started to read this post I thought he might be winding you up but it isnt like that at all so I think the fact that you have spoken to someone perhaps you could go to see someone together, I always felt like I wanted to protect my mum and felt very close has I still do but never felt anything sexual towards her, but people do feel close to their mother but then I wonder if my dad was good looking how would I feel then because I did really really fancy my cousins dad. I have haerd about a lot gay guys have had sex with their brothers which dosent sound like incest like if it was a brother and sister, did you see the brookside when the sister & brother were going out together so it isnt an impossaibilty that a guy could feel this way for his mum I know it shouldnt be like this and your not going to let it happen which is agood thing,but also a lot of younger guys like older woman.
(I'm really trying to understand and help you because it isnt has outrageous has some one might think and in this world the only thing that makes me feel sick is adults that abuse children.)

The other problem with him ejaculating the only embarresment in this the uncomfortable postion that it puts him in. It isnt uncommon has you might think I have heard of this quite alot It dosent happen to me in this way but I do have to have relief evry day not because of the sexual aspect but just to stop the tension .

I'm not sure of the outcome but I'm sure you will sort it out and I'm sure this problem will naturally come to an end and I'm sure you will continue to be friends in th future even if you have to have some therapy.It does sound like the therapist you went to see sounded a bit disgusted about it and raelly she shouldnt be judgemental whot ever her feelings, so you dont need anyone loolking down her nose at you it could happen to anyone but the fact remains that you are trying to sort it out. But you know that this sort of thing does go on its just that it isnt talked about.
though I'm gay I dont really understand transexual, I find that quite bizare. I have heard some of the bizare way that peole have to have sex which is why alot of men will go to aprostitue because they can pay for whot they want but the wife/mothers would be disgusted they say that us gay men are promiscuious but honestly its just that some of these hetrosexual guys do things in secret, I had a good friend once who did prostution she made afortune but I couldnt do some of the perverse things that she had to put up with I've seen th hotel that lets men wear nappies this is sicko stuff, I'm telling you about hese things is for you understand that you are certainly are dealing with it well becuse you havent turned your back on your son, I wish you well and hope it all sorts it self out and good luck James:hug:
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Hello Molly and welcome

is your son showing any other symptoms ?
A ' sexual fantasy trip' can occur in mental disorders
 
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