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RedYeti

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I’ve been seeing a counsellor for depression and anxiety for a fair few months now. It’s kind of always been there.
Over the past year or so I’ve been recounting/remembering/noticing like Unhealthy behaviours or things I used to do as a kid. Things like being extremely stressed and anxious in public places, I remember telling my parents and they’d notice I was freaking out but nothing ever came of it, never spoken about it.
I also used to hurt myself and be really negative to myself when I was frustrated or confused. Looking back now I remember being stressed all the time, now I realise this is what led to health issues I’ve had. I’ve noticed similarities in emotions I had then to now, like when I have a panic attack (theyre rare) or wheN my depression has got me low.
I’m just a bit lost in trying to understand this, how do I unpack it?
Has anyone else had similar experiences or got any advice?
 
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bpd2020

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Hello RedYeti. It is really good to hear you are seeing a counsellor. Maybe opening up and talking about things has released some of the memories you are getting back. I would try to talk about those memories with your counsellor. I am so sorry your anxiety was not addressed when you were a child. Therapy will give you the opportunity to work through that now.
 
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Dice

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Hi yeti. How are you in public places now, and how are you socially?
 
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RedYeti

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Umm
Hi yeti. How are you in public places now, and how are you socially?
I’d say I’m alright now, I’ve found I struggle going anywhere without headphones and listening to music, I’m trying to work through that.
ive always been a bit of an oddball socially, always friendly to people, make a lot of jokes and that. My friends get that I’m kind of weird so it’s not too bad.
i kind of feel I’m missing something or im out of the loop on things
 
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Dice

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Interesting. I see the headphones as a way to avoid interaction, I'm sure you do too. If so, then that says a lot about how you feel about those aspects of life. I asked you this question because my immediate thoughts about some of the things you were saying were leading me along the autism/Asperger route. Has that ever been considered or mentioned by anyone?
 
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RedYeti

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Interesting. I see the headphones as a way to avoid interaction, I'm sure you do too. If so, then that says a lot about how you feel about those aspects of life. I asked you this question because my immediate thoughts about some of the things you were saying were leading me along the autism/Asperger route. Has that ever been considered or mentioned by anyone?
People have asked if I’m autistic, pretty funny watching them get embarrassed when I say no.
I’m in my 20s now, no one really mentioned it when I was in school or anything.
 
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Dice

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It could still be on the more functional end of the spectrum though in Asperger's. Adults do get diagnosed with this having had it missed previously. Here's one famous example: Chris Packham's documentary about his Asperger's
 
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RedYeti

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A couple of my friends work in a care home for severely autistic people. They say I’m similar ish to their patients but I don’t know if they’re just busting my balls.
Ive been reading around it and I won’t lie some of it does seem very applicable to me.
Cheers for the advise bud
 
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Dice

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There's another documentary I saw as well that followed two people through the stages of thinking they might have it, to testing and diagnosis. That was good and shows how seemingly 'normal' fully-functional people can have it and just find themselves not knowing what to do in certain situations. I don't remember the name for that one though, but it was on one of the UK TV channels two or three ago. It'd be worth exploring this going by some of the things people have said to you, and if it turns out to be the case then you'll know why some things are the way they are and you can then start working on managing things rather than throwing medications down your throat which may do more harm than good.
 
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