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Help please.

M

Marshalls gal

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Brighton
Hi, I've been depressed since I was about 15 I'm now 30. Something happened very recently and now all I want to do is end my life. I've tried before and failed. My partner of 7 years has completely cut me, I understand why, it's because I've cheated twice so maybe I deserve it, but it hurts so badly, I've not eaten since Friday and I don't intend to I want out, yes I cheated and it's my fault but he never listens to me. He's been abusive in the past but I can't let him go. I've done a lot of self harm in the past and I'm really really trying not to do it now but I don't see any other way. I hate this feeling. I am so alone, I literally don't have a single friend on this planet. Please someone help me before it too late. I can't do this anymore. I'm sobbing as I write this. It's so hard.
 
M

Marshalls gal

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Brighton
Thank you for saying I'm loved, I wish I could believe it. I have no one to speak to so thank you for replying. Xx
 
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Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
183
Location
Scotland
I am so sorry for you. You have survived 15 years and you can continue to survive. For some of us life is very hard.

No one can judge you for your actions. Please don't judge yourself.

Tomorrow I have to make an emergency appt at the Dr for my anxiety. I think you should make one too and get the help you need.

Helen x
 
M

Marshalls gal

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Brighton
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot when you're lonely as I am, I do judge myself a lot and I've made massive mistakes in the past I'm trying to be a good person but everything I do just isn't enough, when my now ex found out I had cheated on him he said to me either smash the guys windscreen on his car or it'll be your face. I obviously chose the car but regret it as I'd already caused a lot of trouble given that this man was married with a child and his wife found out because my ex contacted her on facebook, the day she called I overdosed. She was kind to me and told me she didn't want any harm to come to me and to go to hospital. Now I really have no one left. My ex made me quit my job because the guy worked there, he's a chef and 20 years older then I, he made me email my ex boss and admit to what I had done. I wish I'd never done it but it's too late now for regrets I did it and as my ex said "cause and effect". Xx
 
H

Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
183
Location
Scotland
Your ex sounds horrible. You have certainly paid for your mistake.

I struggle with my mental health and ring the Samaritans to talk. They are excellent. They never judge but listen and show compassion. I would definitely consider using them.

Helen x
 
M

Marshalls gal

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Brighton
He was but he could also be the best person in the world. But he's been putting me down for so long I don't even know where to begin to start picking myself up x
 
H

Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
183
Location
Scotland
Although he could be great he was clearly not good for you.

Perhaps getting back on track can start now.

Helen x
 
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