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Help please - struggling

raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
I'm sat here waiting for the time to arrive for my therapy. I feel awful. Its a mixture of nerves for my therapy and a record in my head repeating the phrase "I hate myself". I feel so bad inside. I am permanently scared that my loved ones are going to die and leave me alone. I want to OD so badly. Help me please I need something I don't know what.

What is the point of my life?

Sorry for the jumbleness of this post, its just the way my thoughts are coming to the surface at the moment.

I couldn't stop crying last night because I got so worried that my loved ones were going to die.

I hate myself so much.

raven
 
sallyG

sallyG

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Joined
Jul 4, 2009
Messages
1,693
Location
Essex England
dont hate yourself poppet...youve got nothing to hate yourself for. I worry that my loved ones are going to die too..its a horrid feeling.
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
This is awful when you "hate yourself" but really it's the illness
that causes this, you have amazing self worth only you can't see it because of the illness!!
Hope you are getting medical help to deal with this??
Please understand that you are a unique person with talents and I am sure a lot to give!!
I hope you have support from family and friends, even posting here is very positive, good luck, hope you feel better soon, not easy though.



:)
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Hang in there Raven, wht time is your therapy. I'm feeling the same this morning am waiting for my support worker to come to take me to the hearing voices group but i'm frightened to let her in in case I hurt her or mysef. I hate the triteness of distraction but it does sometimes helpp
xxx
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
Thank you for your replies they help to distract me and feel a bit less alone. I wish my mind would just shut up and stop hurting me. My therapy is at 12 although I have to leave for it in 5 minutes time. Its like knives stabbing me in the heart repeatedly. I think they would be less painful if they were real.

raven
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
Hang in there Raven, wht time is your therapy. I'm feeling the same this morning am waiting for my support worker to come to take me to the hearing voices group but i'm frightened to let her in in case I hurt her or mysef. I hate the triteness of distraction but it does sometimes helpp
xxx
I hope your hearing voices group went well. I was sending positive vibes your way. Why would you hurt her?

raven
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
dont hate yourself poppet...youve got nothing to hate yourself for. I worry that my loved ones are going to die too..its a horrid feeling.
Yes it is, I'm so sorry that you share that fear.

*hugs*

raven
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
I hope your hearing voices group went well. I was sending positive vibes your way. Why would you hurt her?

raven
Thanks Raven if you look at my journal I had a bit of a mad morning. The voices didn't want me to go to the group and said I would hurt her if I let her in, or something bad would happen to her. Not long back but exhausted with the headache from hell. Couldn't really say much at group. Thanks for the vibes, they didn't have to travel too far from you;). How did your therapy go?:flowers:
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
This is awful when you "hate yourself" but really it's the illness
that causes this, you have amazing self worth only you can't see it because of the illness!!
Hope you are getting medical help to deal with this??
Please understand that you are a unique person with talents and I am sure a lot to give!!
I hope you have support from family and friends, even posting here is very positive, good luck, hope you feel better soon, not easy though.



:)
Thank you Delatext. I'm getting some medical help although my therapy is soon to come to an end. Therapy went ok I've written in up in my diary on here. Still feel awful.

raven
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,182
Location
south london,england
Raven, its ok to feel like that and remember youre not alone with them feelings, thats what the board is for. I myself feel quiet similar to you so u're not alone. Be strong x
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
black space
I'm raving, out of control,
following the rabbit down the hole,
colours sing in my head,
I wake up sudden full of dread,
Is me the one of many ?
Who scream and roar,
respite, there's not any,
Who is in control, someone you can't ignore,
Rabbit howls as wolf chases,
I am one of many faces !!!

:scared: :grouphug:
 
Last edited:
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