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Help please advice from anyone

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CharleyBlue1

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Uk
Hello I need as much advice as I can get please Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years, he has always suffered with depression but 7 months ago it returned with a vengeance, he told me he had thoughts of suicide a lot, and now binge drinks on the weekends, I supported him the whole way through, sat down with him whilst he told his family, suggested he see a Dr, he is now on anti depressants and is having CBT therapy, all was looking better until 2 weeks ago he broke up with me, i am devastated, I’ve just started university and he said that he needs to focus on himself, without the added pressure of pleasing me, which is horrible to hear as I haven’t pressured him at all, and feel I have Been very supportive, we had no contact for a few days then two days ago we saw eachother and ended up sleeping together, he said he felt happier after he saw me and he says he still loves me, and I said I still love him, but we’ve agreed on some time apart so he can focus on himself, and still are ‘officially’ broken up, do I reach out to him every now and then? Do I leave him alone completely? This Boy is my bestfriend, I would do anything for him, I feel abandoned and destroyed and I just don’t know what to do, any advice or experience within this matter would be greatly appreciated, CharleyBlue
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
22,474
Location
Nowhere
hi Charley

sounds like there was alot in this relationship
maybe too much
like its important not to lean on one person too much
and it sounds like how it was between you

relationships never work
unless you have other close friendships going on

if someone has depression and drinking
its not you, its just that any close relationship
might seem like pressure

im a bit like that myself sometimes
even if I'm with someone supportive

you could ask him what sort of contact you both plan to have
would he like it if you left it to him ?
or are you going to meet up every few days or whatever

something you mutually agree on

:hug5:
 
C

CharleyBlue1

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Uk
hi Charley

sounds like there was alot in this relationship
maybe too much
like its important not to lean on one person too much
and it sounds like how it was between you

relationships never work
unless you have other close friendships going on

if someone has depression and drinking
its not you, its just that any close relationship
might seem like pressure

im a bit like that myself sometimes
even if I'm with someone supportive

you could ask him what sort of contact you both plan to have
would he like it if you left it to him ?
or are you going to meet up every few days or whatever

something you mutually agree on

:hug5:

Thankyou for your advice zoe, we both have separate friendship groups, but I suppose it’s true we did spend a lot of time together, I just have moment of anger and moments of utter sadness, we’ve been together a long time, this depression has just completely ruined the relationship, we didn’t have any issues before this started and spoke about engagement in the months prior to his clinical depression, which I guess is why this has hit me so hard, I wanted to get through this with him and out the other side, if I could ask Zoe what you meant by your a bit like that if your with someone supportive? Apologies for asking do you suffer with depression too? Your feedback is most helpful
Charley
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
22,474
Location
Nowhere
im a bit like him, in that I might find any relationship
feels like pressure
even if its the most supportive person in the world

yes I have depression amongst other things
and I need alot of time on my own
to completely switch off

if you want to help him
maybe try doing a search online

e.g. ' how to help someone with depression '
 

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