help needed

J

jon72

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
australia
I have had a terrible life. I'm not going to sit here and say I'm a Saint and everyone else is evil. I have done some bad things but I have been constantly tormented by people since birth. I was an unwanted child who was constantly bullied from home to school and then eventually work. I never had any real friends. I have no talent. Failed everything at school, useless at sports, tried everything to find some talent and ended up just watching t.v.. I really put effort in. Every job I got was due to someone helping me or no one wanting the job (that bad) and yet the bosses and fellow employees tried everything to get rid of me. After so much abuse I have developed a serious auto immune disease. People see me as worthless and so if anything good happens to me, they try and stop it and if I have anything good they try and take it. If they can't get it, then they destroy. No one backs me. Even my parents have tried to take advantage of me, when I was first diagnosed it look like I was going to die, they made attempts on my savings and super. I no longer speak to them. Here's my issue now. I eventually did meet a nice woman, best woman in the world. I gave her all my money (she had only debts and no savings/like me she'd been taken advantage of) we bought a house together and in the last 20 years I have directed her earnings to her super (I will be dead before she gets her super) and now that's good and we have no debts on house or new car. I want her to have a long and good retirement, I will be dead but I'll die happy knowing I've done this. Unfortunately her little sister has seen this and has decided her and her husband had nothing so she wanted in. She left her husband and tried to jump on board what my wife and I created. I did not want her in my house. She forced her way in and within 5 seconds of being left alone together she pretended to be interested in me. I told my wife and she did nothing. Eventually I kicked up enough stink, she left. She is now trying to destroy my marriage or make me very ill by causing me stress. She's telling my wife "sob" story's to get money out of us. Causing my wife to make up lies and dividing us. I have told my wife she's either trying to bring on my death or divorce. My wife takes her side. I know she's corrupting my wife. People who were talking to me have stopped and she gives little hints that she's behind it. I don't know what to do. I'm too sick to move and have no friends, family. or job. It's causing me stress.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
I`m in Scotland and not sure what "Super" means?

Do you mean you have left everything to her in a will or something?

I`m not sure why you think you will pass before your wife, I don`t expect you to divulge personal information about your condition.

Whatever money you have , if you are concerned, if you have a joint account, maybe whatever money is yours move it to a personal account in your name. I`m single, not co-habiting, so not fully aware of the intricacies of joint accounts etc, so pardon me on that.

I appreciate what you want for your wife, but what about you?

Are you there isn`t any paranoia going on? Apologies, I don`t know your situation.

All in all, it needs either mediation or contact with a solicitor to sort this out. You must protect your interests!!
 
J

jon72

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
australia
I`m in Scotland and not sure what "Super" means?

Do you mean you have left everything to her in a will or something?

I`m not sure why you think you will pass before your wife, I don`t expect you to divulge personal information about your condition.

Whatever money you have , if you are concerned, if you have a joint account, maybe whatever money is yours move it to a personal account in your name. I`m single, not co-habiting, so not fully aware of the intricacies of joint accounts etc, so pardon me on that.

I appreciate what you want for your wife, but what about you?

Are you there isn`t any paranoia going on? Apologies, I don`t know your situation.

All in all, it needs either mediation or contact with a solicitor to sort this out. You must protect your interests!!
I'm a bit stressed and put too much down. Hopefully you can bare through this, I'm sorry but I'm ill and stressed. Basically I have been ganged upon and bullied since I was a child. I've never had any friends or family support and people think I'm such a loser that I can't have anything good. If something good happens or I get something good, people will pretend to be my friend and try to use me. When they realise that the only good skill I have in life is spotting users and I put a stop to their plans, they get angry and get people to gang up on me and destroy or cause trouble with what I got. The only thing good I have in my life now is a wife (I don't know why she chose me as everyone hates me) and a house. I am sick, very sick and have not been able to work for 20 years. The disease I got should kill me and Doctors have told me to put my feet up and no stress. When I met my wife I had money I was still working and putting every cent away. My wife had been used and had nothing but debts. I gave her my money we bought a house with it and together we have worked well. She has always let me control the money because she always gets what she wants. I go without because she's the bread winner. I have been putting money in increasing sums into her retirement account (Super as in Superannuation). I have been trying to do the right thing. I was so grateful to her family for not hating me, that I was showing them I'm doing the right thing by my wife. Now her little sister realised 5 years ago, that her husband wasn't doing the same and they'll be poor in their retirement, she will have to work. I think she thinks she could just jump aboard our ship and hopefully I will die soon. I refused to let her into my house but I did help out. At first I believed her lies. About a year after she left her husband she met a couple and at first I was going to be friends with them. But it became apparent that the Husband is a user. He lives in a shed for 3 months of the year (within a 5 minute drive of my place) and the rest in Thailand, his Thai wife can't drive and all these excuses why. Whilst visiting their place, the wife was pretending to be interested in me and the husband kept on saying don't i feel sorry for her trapped in the shed all day. Apart from showing my wife around her place she sat next to me and kept dishing me food and I could see my wife sitting by herself. It was too much, something not quite right with the way she was acting and the fact her husband sat across the table from me and didn't bat an eye lid. His mates were talking about asian sex tours and I get the strong impression he's selling drugs, that's how he makes his money. I was puzzled by this couples actions at first but when my sister in law put on an act and forced her way into living at my place, within 5 seconds of being left alone with her, she pretended to be interested in me. This plus the fact she told me she loved the both of them and also he's building a floor to his house in Thailand for her, is enough to see they were trying to take over my house. He's very cheap. He was trying to dump both of his women in my place. I got so angry, my wife did nothing but after 6 months she left and I banned those people from my house.
Now what I'm finding is her sister sticking her nose into my marriage. I control the money and my wife has never had a problem. Now she says my sister says I should have money in my purse. So she took a 50 and every week 50 would disappear, I don't know where. Her sister doesn't work and I think she thinks collecting welfare is below her and the fact you can't go overseas for more than 2 weeks if you're on welfare. This would stop her from joining her lovers in Thailand for 3 months every year. So it looks like she's taking money from us and it's money we don't have. I'm very generous and have given her money in the past, but I'm not giving my sister in law a stipend. Now I know she's chatting to my wife on Facebook and I'm hearing words from my wife like "Controlling". Now I know my wife works and I don't but we've always seen any monies as ours and decisions are made together. I also believe the sister has contacted people behind our backs somehow because some people have just stopped talking to me. My wife's started telling little white lies and I feel my life is being controlled. Every Saturday I want to go out, but my wife drags her feet until we get one solitary ring from the sister (she don't answer) and we then go. I felt someone was entering the house so I bolted everything down so no one could get in. So the sister started appearing again on Sunday's for a few hours and when my back was turned she'd go into a bedroom and within minutes she was gone. Money, I'm sure being hidden. My wife screams "Why would I give her any money, we have none ourselves" and she's very religious has sworn to God she doesn't give money to her. Either, it's in my head, or my wife's giving her money or the sister is trying to create a situation in which my wife and I fight all the time by pretending, acting as if she's getting money. For example, yesterday my wife says she needs $25 for lotto at work. Until 2 years ago, she'd never enter any lottery competitions at work. I gave her $25, but I noticed I had $10 in a jar and that's now gone. Cause I pointed out to my wife about these "single rings" on Saturday as being a code (she went absolutely mental about), now the single ring came last night. I'm pretty sure she's now going to her place of work and picking up the money from there. I have always put my wife first. She says I'm controlling, well would you trust your partner around someone who you think is out to do you harm. Remember she has no house and if I go, she has a place to live. She has my wife so controlled my wife tried to get me to sell our house and build right near this couple. When I remind her of that she goes "ape shit". Again recently she tried to get me to move and I found the place is where the little sister likes to live, it came out in an argument
I know we have no friends and that's because of me, people don't like me, I had no friends before I met her. But I have done everything for my wife. She did too. But I now feel all her actions towards me are like a chore and not love. She doesn't seem to be interested in fixing our house like she used to. I feel all alone. There's no one that cares about me and everybody is so easily turned against me.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
This does sound concerning and there are always two sides to every story. I`m not disbelieving you at all.
I`m unsure how the police in Australia deal with this kind of situation, but It does seem your wife is being brainwashed by the sister, reading what you said.

This may seem extreme and possibly inflamatory to the situation, but as you are unwell, it seems you could be considered a vulnerable adult. In such a situation as this , maybe contacting the police explaining your situation and your concerns etc, they could undertake an investigation to your wellbeing and the possibility of you being taken advantage of??

The fact of the police being involved could well wake your wife up, scare the sister off and hopefully , fingers crossed, realise you are not their whipping boy.

This may seem extreme , but, I`m not sure what else to offer?
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
I'm a bit stressed and put too much down. Hopefully you can bare through this, I'm sorry but I'm ill and stressed. Basically I have been ganged upon and bullied since I was a child. I've never had any friends or family support and people think I'm such a loser that I can't have anything good. If something good happens or I get something good, people will pretend to be my friend and try to use me. When they realise that the only good skill I have in life is spotting users and I put a stop to their plans, they get angry and get people to gang up on me and destroy or cause trouble with what I got. The only thing good I have in my life now is a wife (I don't know why she chose me as everyone hates me) and a house. I am sick, very sick and have not been able to work for 20 years. The disease I got should kill me and Doctors have told me to put my feet up and no stress. When I met my wife I had money I was still working and putting every cent away. My wife had been used and had nothing but debts. I gave her my money we bought a house with it and together we have worked well. She has always let me control the money because she always gets what she wants. I go without because she's the bread winner. I have been putting money in increasing sums into her retirement account (Super as in Superannuation). I have been trying to do the right thing. I was so grateful to her family for not hating me, that I was showing them I'm doing the right thing by my wife. Now her little sister realised 5 years ago, that her husband wasn't doing the same and they'll be poor in their retirement, she will have to work. I think she thinks she could just jump aboard our ship and hopefully I will die soon. I refused to let her into my house but I did help out. At first I believed her lies. About a year after she left her husband she met a couple and at first I was going to be friends with them. But it became apparent that the Husband is a user. He lives in a shed for 3 months of the year (within a 5 minute drive of my place) and the rest in Thailand, his Thai wife can't drive and all these excuses why. Whilst visiting their place, the wife was pretending to be interested in me and the husband kept on saying don't i feel sorry for her trapped in the shed all day. Apart from showing my wife around her place she sat next to me and kept dishing me food and I could see my wife sitting by herself. It was too much, something not quite right with the way she was acting and the fact her husband sat across the table from me and didn't bat an eye lid. His mates were talking about asian sex tours and I get the strong impression he's selling drugs, that's how he makes his money. I was puzzled by this couples actions at first but when my sister in law put on an act and forced her way into living at my place, within 5 seconds of being left alone with her, she pretended to be interested in me. This plus the fact she told me she loved the both of them and also he's building a floor to his house in Thailand for her, is enough to see they were trying to take over my house. He's very cheap. He was trying to dump both of his women in my place. I got so angry, my wife did nothing but after 6 months she left and I banned those people from my house.
Now what I'm finding is her sister sticking her nose into my marriage. I control the money and my wife has never had a problem. Now she says my sister says I should have money in my purse. So she took a 50 and every week 50 would disappear, I don't know where. Her sister doesn't work and I think she thinks collecting welfare is below her and the fact you can't go overseas for more than 2 weeks if you're on welfare. This would stop her from joining her lovers in Thailand for 3 months every year. So it looks like she's taking money from us and it's money we don't have. I'm very generous and have given her money in the past, but I'm not giving my sister in law a stipend. Now I know she's chatting to my wife on Facebook and I'm hearing words from my wife like "Controlling". Now I know my wife works and I don't but we've always seen any monies as ours and decisions are made together. I also believe the sister has contacted people behind our backs somehow because some people have just stopped talking to me. My wife's started telling little white lies and I feel my life is being controlled. Every Saturday I want to go out, but my wife drags her feet until we get one solitary ring from the sister (she don't answer) and we then go. I felt someone was entering the house so I bolted everything down so no one could get in. So the sister started appearing again on Sunday's for a few hours and when my back was turned she'd go into a bedroom and within minutes she was gone. Money, I'm sure being hidden. My wife screams "Why would I give her any money, we have none ourselves" and she's very religious has sworn to God she doesn't give money to her. Either, it's in my head, or my wife's giving her money or the sister is trying to create a situation in which my wife and I fight all the time by pretending, acting as if she's getting money. For example, yesterday my wife says she needs $25 for lotto at work. Until 2 years ago, she'd never enter any lottery competitions at work. I gave her $25, but I noticed I had $10 in a jar and that's now gone. Cause I pointed out to my wife about these "single rings" on Saturday as being a code (she went absolutely mental about), now the single ring came last night. I'm pretty sure she's now going to her place of work and picking up the money from there. I have always put my wife first. She says I'm controlling, well would you trust your partner around someone who you think is out to do you harm. Remember she has no house and if I go, she has a place to live. She has my wife so controlled my wife tried to get me to sell our house and build right near this couple. When I remind her of that she goes "ape shit". Again recently she tried to get me to move and I found the place is where the little sister likes to live, it came out in an argument
I know we have no friends and that's because of me, people don't like me, I had no friends before I met her. But I have done everything for my wife. She did too. But I now feel all her actions towards me are like a chore and not love. She doesn't seem to be interested in fixing our house like she used to. I feel all alone. There's no one that cares about me and everybody is so easily turned against me.
Super=superannuation, of course! Sorry!
 
J

jon72

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
australia
This does sound concerning and there are always two sides to every story. I`m not disbelieving you at all.
I`m unsure how the police in Australia deal with this kind of situation, but It does seem your wife is being brainwashed by the sister, reading what you said.

This may seem extreme and possibly inflamatory to the situation, but as you are unwell, it seems you could be considered a vulnerable adult. In such a situation as this , maybe contacting the police explaining your situation and your concerns etc, they could undertake an investigation to your wellbeing and the possibility of you being taken advantage of??

The fact of the police being involved could well wake your wife up, scare the sister off and hopefully , fingers crossed, realise you are not their whipping boy.

This may seem extreme , but, I`m not sure what else to offer?
Thanks for the advice, but that's a nuclear option and still worth considering. What can I do, if I keep quiet and take this, where will it end. $25 per week, $50 per week or a $100. She furiously denies giving her money as she says we've got none, but I asked her for the lotto numbers that apparently she bought and she said I don't trust her. I said can you give it a break for a while, she then screamed it's my money I can do what I like with it. And then she uses this argument "What if they win"? By the way I checked up on how much these lotto tickets cost and for what they were buying it would be the equivalent of $16 per person and I gave her $25 and then there's another $10 missing. I know it's not much but again where does it stop?
Every night we fight and she's threatening to leave me. We never used to fight. One thing she's done is get the phone numbers to a couple of guys she used to work with from her old phone, I'm scared this is preparation for leaving. I beg her not to listen to her sister and she claims she doesn't even talk to her anymore, but i'm sure from the last text I saw and all the subtle clues the sister has put her on Messenger so I can't see. This is a big trap I have fallen into, checking up on her, big mistake, but I'm so scared what this sister is capable of. I have no problems with my wife on Messenger or Facebook, my only concern is when it's done in secret.
I cry and beg her not to listen to the sister and again she says she doesn't chat with her anymore and the whole lots in my head and that I've caused her to lose all her friends. I explain that her sister whilst living with us, tried to lead me on, the sister's friend tried too, she in a way showed my pics of herself topless and when I've tried to improve my health or it looked like I was getting better tried to discourage me or increase my anxiety. I tell this to my wife with proof and she's like I'm going to confront her and I don't want that, I've had too many fights and people never believe in me in he said she said situations. I said, don't hate your sister, she's desperate, but don't believe her or follow what she says. But then an hour later I get the feeling she's forgotten what I said.
Thanks for listening
 
J

jon72

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
australia
I'm struggling.. Is it rude or bad if I ask my wife not to buy lottery tickets for a couple of weeks?
 
J

jon72

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
australia
I want to add one more thing that I've found very alarming. Just before the trouble started and I was told by my wife to not be angry with her as something bad happened to the little sister when she was a kid and that her little sister stopped it from happening to her. The story is one of their relatives raped them, apparently but they never told no one. He's still alive and he was the one I was going to go to to seek help. Her little sister hates him. But the problem is, the story has slightly changed over the last few months and if I believe my wife's last version of story, she was three and the sister wasn't born at that time. Like the sister holds it over her, you owe me, I protected you. Plus the fact that when I first met them, the little sister allowed this accused person to look after her daughter. My wife claims that I don't believe her and when we have a fight she sometimes uses it as a weapon to shut the argument down. She screams you are reminding me of the time i was raped and from what we were arguing about I don't know how that's possible.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
Thanks for the advice, but that's a nuclear option and still worth considering. What can I do, if I keep quiet and take this, where will it end. $25 per week, $50 per week or a $100. She furiously denies giving her money as she says we've got none, but I asked her for the lotto numbers that apparently she bought and she said I don't trust her. I said can you give it a break for a while, she then screamed it's my money I can do what I like with it. And then she uses this argument "What if they win"? By the way I checked up on how much these lotto tickets cost and for what they were buying it would be the equivalent of $16 per person and I gave her $25 and then there's another $10 missing. I know it's not much but again where does it stop?
Every night we fight and she's threatening to leave me. We never used to fight. One thing she's done is get the phone numbers to a couple of guys she used to work with from her old phone, I'm scared this is preparation for leaving. I beg her not to listen to her sister and she claims she doesn't even talk to her anymore, but i'm sure from the last text I saw and all the subtle clues the sister has put her on Messenger so I can't see. This is a big trap I have fallen into, checking up on her, big mistake, but I'm so scared what this sister is capable of. I have no problems with my wife on Messenger or Facebook, my only concern is when it's done in secret.
I cry and beg her not to listen to the sister and again she says she doesn't chat with her anymore and the whole lots in my head and that I've caused her to lose all her friends. I explain that her sister whilst living with us, tried to lead me on, the sister's friend tried too, she in a way showed my pics of herself topless and when I've tried to improve my health or it looked like I was getting better tried to discourage me or increase my anxiety. I tell this to my wife with proof and she's like I'm going to confront her and I don't want that, I've had too many fights and people never believe in me in he said she said situations. I said, don't hate your sister, she's desperate, but don't believe her or follow what she says. But then an hour later I get the feeling she's forgotten what I said.
Thanks for listening
Everything here is so wrong.

I understand it`s a nuclear option, but maybe the time has come, it may well wake her up, as I`ve said. Or it just may go the other way.

You really need to stand your ground on this and assert yourself, I`m so sorry about this, but your wife, it seems has been poisoned by the sister.

The other option, if you have it in Oz, is seeing if you can apply for legal aid? It has been stripped right back here, so it may not be a possibility. Otherwise, I really can`t see another option than the police.

My heart goes out to you mate, but your health and your own financial , home interests are important and need protecting.

I can`t think of anything else, being in Scotland, maybe Social services , if you have them over there??
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
I want to add one more thing that I've found very alarming. Just before the trouble started and I was told by my wife to not be angry with her as something bad happened to the little sister when she was a kid and that her little sister stopped it from happening to her. The story is one of their relatives raped them, apparently but they never told no one. He's still alive and he was the one I was going to go to to seek help. Her little sister hates him. But the problem is, the story has slightly changed over the last few months and if I believe my wife's last version of story, she was three and the sister wasn't born at that time. Like the sister holds it over her, you owe me, I protected you. Plus the fact that when I first met them, the little sister allowed this accused person to look after her daughter. My wife claims that I don't believe her and when we have a fight she sometimes uses it as a weapon to shut the argument down. She screams you are reminding me of the time i was raped and from what we were arguing about I don't know how that's possible.
This is very strange, I`m sorry, but something has gone completely awry here, you need outside help.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
164
Location
Scotland
I'm struggling.. Is it rude or bad if I ask my wife not to buy lottery tickets for a couple of weeks?
STOP giving her the money! Frankly, freeze the accounts! She needs a wake up call, contact the bank, whatever.

All assuming it`s in your name and not joint accounts.
 
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