• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Help needed

W

Wil2477

Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2019
Messages
9
Location
West Midlands
Hi, I only got my diagnosis last week but it explains alot about my life. Why I push people away and when I am happy I find ways to sabotage it.
How can I stop this behaviour, as I have a really good friend at work who knows about everything that is going on, but I'm now finding ways of driving a wedge between us.
Thanks
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,895
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
Hope having being diagnosed you will get more help.
We have a few members with BPD hopefully they will be able to answer you very shortly.
Take care
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
895
Location
Norfolk
Hi, I only got my diagnosis last week but it explains alot about my life. Why I push people away and when I am happy I find ways to sabotage it.
How can I stop this behaviour, as I have a really good friend at work who knows about everything that is going on, but I'm now finding ways of driving a wedge between us.
Thanks
Okay, you probably know a bit about BPD now in that it’s a mixture of genetics coupled with an invalidating environment. I assume your doctor has referred you and that’s how you were diagnosed? Presumably they have recommended therapy? For BPD there’s one therapy that seems highly effective and it’s called DBT. Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. In this is a core component called Mindfulness. I suggest you Google search on these things to give you a better insight into your thoughts, for example your issues could relate to abandonment issues in the past, therefore you push people away before they can hurt you. I would highly recommend a book by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen called Mindfulness for BPD. It will tell you all you need to know about the condition, why you act in the manner you do and how to become mindful to reduce your suffering. I do recommend you try self help as waiting lists for therapy are extremely long, that’s if your area even offers it.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,258
The diagnosis doesn’t define you. You are still you.

But it will give you context and understanding why you do what you do.

Get into regular therapy sessions. Find someone who makes you feel safe. You don’t have to stick with the first one you go to if they don’t make you feel safe.

Part of the process relies on your honesty in therapy, your courage to face past trauma, and your desire for change. It’s not for the weak of heart, but it will provide you with stability.
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
895
Location
Norfolk
The diagnosis doesn’t define you. You are still you.

But it will give you context and understanding why you do what you do.

Get into regular therapy sessions. Find someone who makes you feel safe. You don’t have to stick with the first one you go to if they don’t make you feel safe.

Part of the process relies on your honesty in therapy, your courage to face past trauma, and your desire for change. It’s not for the weak of heart, but it will provide you with stability.
Your posts are always so thoughtful and kind. I just wanted to say thank you for being here. :hug::thanks:
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,258
Thank you guys, I needed that today.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,271
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi welcome x try and let your friend support you x it is good to have people who care and want to help
try and remember you are still the same person you were before the diagnosis
lots of love ,I hope you will find this place useful
Lu xxx
 
Top