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help my gf



New member
Jul 29, 2020
Hi all,

I'm here to see if anyone might be able to help my gf.

A bit of background :

She has always been a clean person (washing her hands a lot, cleaning some groceries with water) but in 2009, after the swine flu outbreak, it really escalated.

She started disinfecting everything we brought in the house, washing her hands (and forearms) for minutes on end.

She also mandated that we both take all our clothes off at the door and spray ourselves, the area with a air/surface disinfectant before taking a shower.

Over the years, she also became less and less social (she leaves the house about once a year, no joke).
She also has some unrelated health issues and she can't do any of these things anymore so it falls on me.

Now, I went along with this because we got together when we were pretty young and I didn't realise it would get worse if I indulged her.

I also feel the need to add that I don't actually mind doing most of these things (she definitely rubbed off on me).

The only thing that bothers me is the hand washing. She washes them and her arms very obsessively (if you've ever seen a surgeon scrub in for surgery, you'll get the idea).

Again, no problem with the actual washing but she splashes water all over the place to the point where the whole area around the sink is either rotting or flaking away.

We tried getting her a mental health professional but as you might imagine, phone sessions aren't ideal for this.
It also doesn't help that the country we live in isn't super up to date with OCD treatment.

I'm open to most suggestions but not clinics. There's only one in our area and they specialise in intrusive thoughts rather than physical ocd. They've also got 1.2 stars on google (not sure how meaningful that is tho).
On top of that, I'm afraid a new environment would actually make her even more withdrawn. Do any of you have experience with those ?

I read a bit about ERP recently but I'm not sure how to implement it.

I tried giving her a count (like washing for 30 seconds) but she can't seem to stop. She feels like some water splashed from the sink to her hands and the whole ordeal starts over.
It has worked a few times, she'll stop washing and start walking towards the towels and then stand there and come back to washing her hands.

I also tried standing next to her and telling her (gently) that everything was clean. That is *not* a good way to go about it.

So I guess my question is, is there any way to save our kitchen setup?
Any tips or tricks ?



Well-known member
Jul 20, 2020
Has she studied ocd extensively?


Well-known member
Feb 7, 2020
You're worried about your kitchen???

She needs help from a therapist. Unless you're ok with living like that permanently if she doesn't get help, this will be how you'll live your life. You are in way, enabling it. The question is, why?