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Help! My boyfriend is bipolar

Y

Yelladan

New member
Joined
Sep 2, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Canada
My boyfriend is really struggling with bipolar ... he was on meds around 6months ago and now refuses to take anything. He seems to be on constant lows right now and I don’t know the right thing to do. Everything I say or do to try and help , he seems to take the wrong way. He talks often about leaving everything behind and going away from everything he loves. He’s also more recently became violent, Not towards me, but wrecking our house . He’ll rip all the clothes out the closet and throw furniture around the house. His lows are getting worse too where he can’t find joy in anything , if one things goes wrong it’s the end of the world. He’ll lay in bed on days off work and sleep all day. I’ve tried everything I can in my power to help him I’ve begged him to let me in , but he seems to be sure he is unhelpable. when I’ve told him I’m calling for help he’s told me he will drive off before they arrive and not come back. His sex drive has also completely gone and he won’t talk about it. I’ve more recently learned this is a bipolar side affect , but it affected my self confidence a lot as I thought I was the issue.
I want desperately to get him the help he needs.
I just want to know if this has been anyone else’s experience , advice on the right and wrong things to say and what would be good for me to do for him. There’s so much more stories I have but this is just the things I’m struggling to help with right now.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
My boyfriend is really struggling with bipolar ... he was on meds around 6months ago and now refuses to take anything. He seems to be on constant lows right now and I don’t know the right thing to do. Everything I say or do to try and help , he seems to take the wrong way. He talks often about leaving everything behind and going away from everything he loves. He’s also more recently became violent, Not towards me, but wrecking our house . He’ll rip all the clothes out the closet and throw furniture around the house. His lows are getting worse too where he can’t find joy in anything , if one things goes wrong it’s the end of the world. He’ll lay in bed on days off work and sleep all day. I’ve tried everything I can in my power to help him I’ve begged him to let me in , but he seems to be sure he is unhelpable. when I’ve told him I’m calling for help he’s told me he will drive off before they arrive and not come back. His sex drive has also completely gone and he won’t talk about it. I’ve more recently learned this is a bipolar side affect , but it affected my self confidence a lot as I thought I was the issue.
I want desperately to get him the help he needs.
I just want to know if this has been anyone else’s experience , advice on the right and wrong things to say and what would be good for me to do for him. There’s so much more stories I have but this is just the things I’m struggling to help with right now.
he needs to get back on meds to level him out. Lows are hard but the highs! They can be worse. He should try not. Get into that frame pf mind. Ive ended up in jail a shit pn mad highs so get him in meds asap
 
firestorm

firestorm

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 14, 2013
Messages
200
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
When this happens to me, my partner quietly phones my psychiatrist while I am high. He then places me in lockdown at a private psychiatric hospital. They then control everything and get antipsychotic medication into me which immediately starts leveling me out.
I am so sorry for you.

I honestly don’t know why partner is still with me. She says it is just one of those cards that life deals you. There is a YouTube song called Bipolar Ways that might gives you an insight into the life of a bipolar patient

I can also not tell why I keep on getting out of control. Probably because I miss the feeling of being a god while high.

My love and support to you.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
When this happens to me, my partner quietly phones my psychiatrist while I am high. He then places me in lockdown at a private psychiatric hospital. They then control everything and get antipsychotic medication into me which immediately starts leveling me out.
I am so sorry for you.

I honestly don’t know why partner is still with me. She says it is just one of those cards that life deals you. There is a YouTube song called Bipolar Ways that might gives you an insight into the life of a bipolar patient

I can also not tell why I keep on getting out of control. Probably because I miss the feeling of being a god while high.

My love and support to you.
These issues are no one fault. And they afflict lots of us so your not alone.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
When this happens to me, my partner quietly phones my psychiatrist while I am high. He then places me in lockdown at a private psychiatric hospital. They then control everything and get antipsychotic medication into me which immediately starts leveling me out.
I am so sorry for you.

I honestly don’t know why partner is still with me. She says it is just one of those cards that life deals you. There is a YouTube song called Bipolar Ways that might gives you an insight into the life of a bipolar patient

I can also not tell why I keep on getting out of control. Probably because I miss the feeling of being a god while high.

My love and support to you.
Hey i used to be a really bad person and my highs fed into that. Done some really repugnant sruff .loads of us have problems and talking ia a good way tp begin the process of dealing with rhem xx
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
When this happens to me, my partner quietly phones my psychiatrist while I am high. He then places me in lockdown at a private psychiatric hospital. They then control everything and get antipsychotic medication into me which immediately starts leveling me out.
I am so sorry for you.

I honestly don’t know why partner is still with me. She says it is just one of those cards that life deals you. There is a YouTube song called Bipolar Ways that might gives you an insight into the life of a bipolar patient

I can also not tell why I keep on getting out of control. Probably because I miss the feeling of being a god while high.

My love and support to you.
I know the lows. Done some really self destructive things while on lows and im lucky to be alive now. Done spme really mental things on my highs too. And lucky im not in jail for 10 years. So i get it. Meds are the only way to try level it.
 
M

markprosso538

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
89
Location
Pennsylvania
That's a tough spot to be in, I'm probably not the best person to give relationship advice. I'd say just keep trying to be as supportive as possible. Maybe there's certain meds he'd be okay with taking. Can you help calm him down when he's manic? There have been a few people in my life that were able to calm me down when i was up. Depression though, is harder to get out of.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,303
Location
Nashua NH
It sounds like this person’s unwillingness to adhere to treatment has become a dangerous situation for you. I would contact his doctor and tell him what you have told us here and ask what he would recommend. I think the doctor working with the police to have him committed would be the best thing to do at the moment. Commitments are for people who are a danger to themselves or others and right now it seems that he is both. I hope your boyfriend is able to get the help he needs to be a better partner for you. xo, j
 
K

keith74

Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Canada
Yelladan - sorry to hear of your experiences. There is hope for your boyfriend but it is imperative that he starts seeing a therapist and willing to take any medication recommended by the therapist/doctor. Maybe you can suggest going to couples therapy together to help your relationship and from there it can lead to him seeing a therapist for his bipolar? If he refuses to see a therapist even when stable, then that is not fair to you... and you have to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who is not fair to you.

Good luck! My wife is bipolar and therapy + medication is very effective, in addition to keeping stress/anxiety low. Not saying it everything will be rosey afterwards. But a really fruitful relationship is possible.
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
2,618
Location
United States
He reminds me of myself. He needs to get back on meds. I hope they find something he is comfortable with taking.
 
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