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Z

ZOZO1

Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
9
Hey guys! This is the first time I have used this forum to chat in, I have over the years kept an eye on it and it has reassured and helped me from time to time at a distance, but I have now found some courage to finally speak up :)

I have been feeling 'weird' for a number of years now, probably 13. What started as depression seems to have snowballed into severe anxiety and now I'm faced with a new problem :-( I've been feeling really dizzy, sometimes loose coordination and feel like I'm part of a different world altogether, I feel like I can see my life through different eyes and sometimes I feel as though I forget who I am, I wonder how I know how to do all the things I do and just feel like I'm going totally crazy. Not only that but I feel like I'm going to die every day. It's now getting me to the point where suicidal thoughts have crept back in because I feel so low and desperate. I am taking 20mg of citalopram daily and it's defiantly helped with the panic attacks as they have totally subsided. Has anybody else had any similar experiences? I am too scared to go back to the doctors at this point because I am convinced it will be really bad news and I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that just yet!

Thank you to anyone who takes out the time to read this. :)
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you've finally posted. :)

Obviously nobody here can diagnose, but I relate to your post and from my experience, it sounds as if you could be getting depersonalisation or derealisation.
When I get it, it feels like my awareness is outside of my body. It makes me dizzy, uncoordinated and I feel like I can't feel my feet.
It is worrying, but it's also recognised as a "thing" that people have. So it's nothing to be too concerned about.
Unfortunately there is no cure for it. The reason it happens is usually when you're overwhelmed, either with depression or anxiety (or any other MH issues).
The more you relax, the better it generally can be.

Though I know that's easier said than done, because the depersonalisation makes me anxious.. the anxiety causes depersonalisation. It's a vicious circle.

One thing that helps is to just constantly reassure myself in my mind that I am physically healthy, and what i'm feeling is the result of anxiety - and it will pass.
Hope that helps a little bit.
 
U

urbangibbon

Guest
Hey guys! This is the first time I have used this forum to chat in, I have over the years kept an eye on it and it has reassured and helped me from time to time at a distance, but I have now found some courage to finally speak up :)

I have been feeling 'weird' for a number of years now, probably 13. What started as depression seems to have snowballed into severe anxiety and now I'm faced with a new problem :-( I've been feeling really dizzy, sometimes loose coordination and feel like I'm part of a different world altogether, I feel like I can see my life through different eyes and sometimes I feel as though I forget who I am, I wonder how I know how to do all the things I do and just feel like I'm going totally crazy. Not only that but I feel like I'm going to die every day. It's now getting me to the point where suicidal thoughts have crept back in because I feel so low and desperate. I am taking 20mg of citalopram daily and it's defiantly helped with the panic attacks as they have totally subsided. Has anybody else had any similar experiences? I am too scared to go back to the doctors at this point because I am convinced it will be really bad news and I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that just yet!

Thank you to anyone who takes out the time to read this. :)
You could be having bad side-effects to the anti-depressant. Look on wikipedia under "Citalopram" and if you think any side effects correspond with what you have described, then perhaps you should make an appointment with your GP asap. Anti-depressants can sometimes have very powerful side effects. Your doc might prescribe a different anti-dep.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Yes - UG has a good point!
I forgot to ask how long you've been on citalopram for?
I take it still now, but I remember the first few months on it I felt very spaced out and strange.
 
U

urbangibbon

Guest
Yes - UG has a good point!
I forgot to ask how long you've been on citalopram for?
I take it still now, but I remember the first few months on it I felt very spaced out and strange.
I had a friend who was on Citalopram and she said she felt very ill and worse after a few weeks on it. It really made her feel "washed out" in a morning. The doc changed it to another, I forget which one.
 
Z

ZOZO1

Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
9
Thank you so much for the reply, it has totally helped. I suppose just the reassurance alone that I'm not the only one has made me calm down a little! I suppose I just need to take each day as it comes and deal with the feelings as and when! Thank you again, it really does mean a lot :)
 
Z

ZOZO1

Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
9
Hey! I've been on the citalopram for almost a year now. I used to take foloxotine and didn't ever have any problems with those so I will bring that up at my next appointment! Thank you for your reply. :)
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi ZOZO1,

I haven't got anything useful to add to the good responses you have received already but I just wanted to say a quick hello and welcome to the forum.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
906
Location
Sunny England.
I was on flauxetine for about 18 years,told my doctor they was'nt doing me any good so he put me on citalopram about two month ago.Now i never went out mutch as it is,and could not wait to get back in when i did go anywhere.I have'nt ate propper for three days,my tummy is upset,i am a bag of nervs,cant sleep nights,not been out of the house for over a week now,don't wanna go out.I can'nt cope with society because society has made me the way i am.To top it all off,they say i am not entitled to my benefits and they are stopping my money.It's really making me ill.Dont really know how things are gonna turn out.
 
U

urbangibbon

Guest
I was on flauxetine for about 18 years,told my doctor they was'nt doing me any good so he put me on citalopram about two month ago.Now i never went out mutch as it is,and could not wait to get back in when i did go anywhere.I have'nt ate propper for three days,my tummy is upset,i am a bag of nervs,cant sleep nights,not been out of the house for over a week now,don't wanna go out.I can'nt cope with society because society has made me the way i am.To top it all off,they say i am not entitled to my benefits and they are stopping my money.It's really making me ill.Dont really know how things are gonna turn out.
Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I agree with your comment about this society. I think it is a wretched, rancid society which is barely worth living in. It does so much damage to people and then it fills people with drugs to treat the psychological effects which it itself has created. But we must go on and keep going. I weaned myself off meds by using St John's Wort as a weaning substitute. I have to say I feel so much better now than when I was filling my system with pharma anti-deps. I don't even use the SJW now. :)
 
S

secretsurvivor1

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
306
Location
SW UK
go back to your doc; I was given a new med and it just made me ill physically and strange mentally, but they had me try it for maybe 3 weeks to see if the side-effects settled down. When they didn't, they changed my meds and it was ok in the end. What works for someone doesn't work for someone else, no idea why. But there are so many new versions of so many pills, something should suit you. I know a lot of people on here are anti-medication but it has saved my life so I have to say I think pills can help when you are in a bad state. I also suggest seeing your doc or Psychiatrist and telling them about the benefits problem. I had a letter from my Psyc TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN stating that in his opinion I was unfit to work. The GP dr said the same and said he would tell them if they asked him. Get powerful people behind you; don't try to do it alone.
 
Z

ZOZO1

Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
9
Thank you. I have got an appointement for next week as it's getting worse, hopefully it will be just a case of med change! Thank you for the reply, I've seen your mood is lonely :-( If you ever need to talk just pm me. I hope you feel less lonely soon :)
 
Electric

Electric

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2014
Messages
113
I can relate to your experience. I had it for quite a while, many days in a row. When I wasn't spaced out, I started analyzing everything, and I came to the conclusion that in case it would happen again, I must try to focus on my physical body. Because spacing out is an out of body experience, and much more... so you have to get back into contact with your body.

When you are walking and this happens, focus yourself on your feet and how they are touching the ground. Focus on your hair, how the wind plays with it. Feel the cloths on your skin that you are wearing.
When you are sitting, same thing. Find connection with anything around you to focus on your body. Also when you are laying down on a bed, for example.

This has helped me a lot. At first it was very hard, but finally I could do it and it took away the spacing out feeling. Once I couldn't do it while standing up, so I laid down on the floor to connect the floor with the backside of my body. I could ground more and better while being on the floor than standing up.

I hope this helps...

Electric
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,000
Location
australia
...hallo ZOZO1.

you have done the right thing for yourself.

there is an abundance of 'experience' here.

just enough and likely more...and it's free and comforting!

I also have experience with citalopram.

and I never felt confident enough to complain...

the things I managed to do on that antidepressant?...

still blow my mind..!

it seemed to oversatisfy my collective self and unself...

and especially when I failed to take these pills on time?...

I sank into an awful dizziness that I have been incapable of doing otherwise...

where it hurt to think and to listen and see

the times for medication?...

they cannot be adjusted precisely for this kind of antidepressant.

I am not surprised that you are in sincere discomfort...

but you have found a place with other people that will try easily to comfort you...

and understand you...

dm... james

xo
 
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