HELP... Me with my bp girlfriend πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ˜Š

I

Innerlev84

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2016
Messages
6
Location
Bedfordshire
#1
HELP... Me with my bp girlfriend πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ˜Š

Hi my soon to be wife has bp and Im in need of help dealing with her moods sometimes she's that bad I feel to walk away but I love her so much and want to be able too help in anyway... Please helpπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»
 
G

Georgie M

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2015
Messages
11
Location
Essex, England
#2
Hi Innerlev, does your partner receive any help at all? What moods does she appear to have? It's so hard to be in a relationship with someone who has bipolar, you must make sure you both get help hun Anything you'd like to ask you can?
Hope you feel better sending loads of hugs!
Xxx
 
I

Innerlev84

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2016
Messages
6
Location
Bedfordshire
#3
Hi yh she takes her meds most the time but it's so hard trying to deal with it the mood changes the ups and downs and the things that she says when she goes on one I'm just finding it difficult...������
 
G

Georgie M

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2015
Messages
11
Location
Essex, England
#4
Maybe she and you could try mindfulness together? I found it helped tremendously. My family won't try it apart from my mum who now deals with these ups and downs much better, the rest of my family won't help themselves to understand a little bit bout me, so its very hard to deal with and It often makes me worse when they become horrible to me. It's definitely worth a try 100% but you both have to do it or read on it, as it has helped my mum to cope and myself much better.. Good luck xxx
 
I

Innerlev84

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2016
Messages
6
Location
Bedfordshire
#5
Thanks I'll give it ago and post up if it's going well or no ���� I'm so thankful for this form coz I don't feel alone ����������������������������
 
G

Georgie M

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2015
Messages
11
Location
Essex, England
#6
Yes definitely always keep talking :)
Good Luck with it! Always here if you need anyone x
Much love Georgie
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
41,079
Location
Lancashire
#7
Might it be a idea for her and you to keep a mood diary? Have scores of 1-3 for mania like mild, moderate and severe and a minus 1-3 for depression. See if there is a pattern to it and 0 is being OK. Put in the "normal" days too. That way you can see if her monthly cycle affects her, other things trigger her and write those as notes for each day. If you do this for a month or more, then ask her to see the psychiatrist with her and show him/her this chart.

I think you need to try to help her take some responsibility for her changes. I am diagnosed with bipolar and try hard to learn my triggers and responses, to mitigate the effect on others. Its not always the case that we just have mood swings, usually something starts it. People with bipolar have no brakes on our roller coaster, so something small which you might dismiss or overcome easily can create a stronger reaction with us and its like we can't stop this.

When she calms down, can you help her try to tell you what was in her mind, no matter how small. See if she can follow that train that thought and see what thought came next and next. Its called chain analysis and whilst something tiny might start it, when you chase it along, you find a link to something much more traumatic underneath. I also think that she might need more monitoring from the MH services.

There is a book called, "Bipolar, the Ultimate Guide" by Sarah Owens and Amanda Saunders which might help you understand what is going on. I would educate yourself and understand it much better.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
41,079
Location
Lancashire
#8
Oh, to add, don't forget to look after yourself too. Have a little time away when she isn't too ill perhaps. You can't help her if you get overly stressed.
 
I

Innerlev84

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2016
Messages
6
Location
Bedfordshire
#10
my girlfriend is having a bad mood and any small thing she snaps not bad but I feel like saying something back it gets to me one minute she's nice and easy going reading her book then the dog barking at the cat and then I'm watching tv she's like I hate this noise on the TV then she's like I'm turning it over and then she's like move ur in my way u always take up room on the bed and tells me to get out of her room in a mean way I want to shap back so bad coz I have not done fuck all wrong but just watching tv so I done what she said without saying anything ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:love::love::stomp::stomp::stomp:
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,146
#11
Some women are just biatches, also
 
I

Innerlev84

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2016
Messages
6
Location
Bedfordshire
#12
Tell me about it :mad: I just want to scream at her sometimes and think to myself y do I put up with this I no I'm getting married soon but sometimes I just want to go I hate it :mad:
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,146
#13
Tell me about it :mad: I just want to scream at her sometimes and think to myself y do I put up with this I no I'm getting married soon but sometimes I just want to go I hate it :mad:
Because you're co-dependant

A lot of men get sucked into Saving BPDs

There is no saving us

We can save ourselves perfectly fine we just prefer not to. In my opinion!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
G

Georgie M

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2015
Messages
11
Location
Essex, England
#14
It's so hard not to snap back, I get it a lot with my family when I get like what your describing your girlfriends being like.. It's definitely not a good thing to shout or snap in any way, unfortunately she probably doesn't have a clue why she's even in a mad mood and angry all of a sudden. But your there so she will just go towards the first thing or person she sees. I think they key is to stay calm and get something or do something she really likes, enjoys and or stay out of her way and occupy yourself in the mean time till she goes down a bit and is more pleasant to be around .. Then later sit with her quietly and see if she can find a trggar of why this happens?

I'm sure she'll feel bad after and not even being able to explain herself its very hard. I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship because of the Bipolar..

Hope this works, and try communicating more. Read more about it all and tell her how you feel if she doesn't already know as it's upsetting for you both I bet.

Much love xxx
 
R

redrachel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2013
Messages
98
#15
J-Hi-I'm BP with a BP boyfriend-we don't actually live together. Thank God. Where I tend to take my difficulties out on myself, which brings its own problems (he finds that really upsetting), he definitely takes his difficulties out on other people and can fall out with quite a few people in the course of a few days.
When he's like this, I try to make sure that I spend a bit of time with other friends, and do some things that I like to do, so that I'm not just putting up with his shite and his verbal abuse all the time. By trying to stay strong, and to set some limits (not easy when I know he's also struggling), then I'm more available to him at those times when he does calm down a bit and can help him get a bit of perspective on things. I think that, notwithstanding BP, there is a limit to the level of abuse and nastiness you should put up with. Otherwise, you'll just end up resenting the other person, and also if you behave like a doormat, then you'll get treated like one, BP or no BP. But that's just my view. Seems to me you have some very mixed feelings about the marriage and maybe your partner is picking up on this????
 
Resting

Resting

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 11, 2016
Messages
76
Location
Bedfordshire
#16
Tell me about it :mad: I just want to scream at her sometimes and think to myself y do I put up with this I no I'm getting married soon but sometimes I just want to go I hate it :mad:
She will learn to manage her bi-polar better so that it doesn't affect you so much. You will learn to see what is her and what is a symptom. You will also learn to not need to complain about her by accepting her as she is.

From the good marriages i have observed in close friends, i can see that they never, ever, complain about each other to others. What happens in their marriage stays between them. I really like that. I would hate to think my husband was bad mouthing me to others.

They understand one another and support on other, but they also have other people in their lives that they can offload onto so they are not piling their woes only on their spouse. This seems to help the marriage.

They don't expect anything from one another like lifts, but ask politely and understand when the answer is no. I really like that. No sense of entitlement.

My close friend's husband walked through her house, on her cream carpet, with muddy trainers on. She looked at me and rolled her eyes, and cleaned it up. I like that too.

You have to love each other very much, understand each other, accept each other and also be ready yourself to enter a marriage. You don't seem completely ready but i think it is possible to learn on the job.

Did you watch Zocha on Holby City? She has bi-polar and her psychiatrist boyfriend said to Dr Valentine, the other love interest, that she has bi-polar and so he needs to be completely sure as she cannot be picked up and dropped as this would affect her bi-polar. She needs a stable relationship, someone who is going to be there and is able to be there no matter what. I know that all people need that too, but your fiance does have a mental health disorder and this is a disability of the brain. It is a lot to take on. My ex said that life with me will never be boring!

Love Resting

Love Resting
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
L Bipolar Forum 10
B Bipolar Forum 8
V Bipolar Forum 3
S Bipolar Forum 3
C Bipolar Forum 149

Similar threads