Help me. Please!

[WF2020]

Sorry

 

[WF2020]

Since my childhood, I have had to deal with a lot by myself. I couldn't talk to anyone and I kept so much to myself. I'm now an adult and I feel hopeless as ever. Few of years ago I met with an accident which left me with lasting effects. I'm struggling to deal with this and I have distanced myself from everyone that cares about me. I see no hope and my job is making me very anxious as I have to deal with a lot of people. I see no end to this suffering and I can't talk to anyone. My family is highly dependent on me and I have to put on a brave face for everyone. I'm constantly so restless and I find no enjoyment in anything. I absolutely hate myself and always worry about my actions and what others might think about me. I have no one to talk to.
I keep thinking about how death would be a relief. But I can't do that to my family. I feel trapped, hopeless and really sad

 

[LadyDomino]

Is there anyway you could explain how you are feeling to a member of the family or a friend? Alternatively try talking to a doctor, an anti-depressant may help.

Could you change your job? With Covid-19 around dealing with lots of people isn't good anyway. I don't know what the Covid-19 regulations are like in your pard of the US - but in the UK you would be classed as a vulnerable person and advised to stay home. A break from your job may well help.

You can always talk to people on here.

 

[vanish]

Are you okay, WF2020?

 

[CarlaNorford]

It's like I read a description of my situation. I know how you feel. I put the same face on at home and with friends, only afford to let the mask go with one person because I know they aren't affected by my situation and there's no sense in pretending everything's ok. This helped me cope, BTW. Find a person you love and know they don't care as much about you and let everything off your chest. You'll be talking to a person you value without feeling like you're putting pressure on them cause you know you are nothing but a common person to the recipient of your conversation. And I know that it's easy to think about ending it all, but that is never a solution. There is nothing wrong with you because you thought of it, everyone who is depressed at one point or another thinks of it, but never act on this instinct because you are more valuable than you will ever understand, and no matter how tough life gets, it is your duty to seek help and fight till your last breath to keep everything together. Best of luck, my dear, hope everything settles down.

 

[karl7]

Since my childhood, I have had to deal with a lot by myself. I couldn't talk to anyone and I kept so much to myself. I'm now an adult and I feel hopeless as ever. Few of years ago I met with an accident which left me with lasting effects. I'm struggling to deal with this and I have distanced myself from everyone that cares about me. I see no hope and my job is making me very anxious as I have to deal with a lot of people. I see no end to this suffering and I can't talk to anyone. My family is highly dependent on me and I have to put on a brave face for everyone. I'm constantly so restless and I find no enjoyment in anything. I absolutely hate myself and always worry about my actions and what others might think about me. I have no one to talk to.
I keep thinking about how death would be a relief. But I can't do that to my family. I feel trapped, hopeless and really sad

im sorry youre having such a rough time. An admission to a psych hospita; might be beneficial......ask your psychiatrist, if you havent a psychiatrist make haste and get one.