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Help me please - my experience with services

B

Bubblyblue

Member
Joined
May 16, 2009
Messages
16
Hi, I just want to share what's been happening to me for the past 2 years, and how angry I am at mental health services. I will just summarise.

I am aged 24, female, live in the UK. I have been working in the mental health sector for 3 years. I have suffered from clinical depression for about 8 years, but was untreated and undiagnosed. This depression arose from childhood/adolescent emotional abuse, neglect, bullying etc... Last year I split up from a 2 year relationship. I have attachement issues, I cant get over someone easily (I obsessed with a celebrity for 10 years). After the split last year, I couldnt take it anymore, so I told my GP, was put on antidepressants, tried few brands, which didnt seem to lift my mood. I began to use alcohol and promiscous sex as a coping strategy. I lost my job, due to drinking alcohol. I received counselling, it helped with my alcohol problems. I paid for a couple of sessions of therapy with a psychologist, but stopped cos I could not afford it.

I then began a new job this year, however I drank alcohol at work in March (biggest mistake) and told my boss about it, I had to attend a discplinary hearing in July. I was so scared about the impact it would have on my progressing career, that I planned to commit suicide if I was dismissed from work. I had 7 weeks to live and so tried to have fun. I joined a dating site and my profile suggested I wanted some man urgently to show me some love/care, before I kill myself. I met a nice bloke, he turned out to be loving and caring, and was attracted to me. He wanted to stop me from killing myself. Anyway our relationship got very intense, he couldnt take my pressures anymore, we argued and now he is ignoring me completely. I had given him a nervous breakdown.

I quit my antidepressants abruptly in June, and then my behaviour became rather odd. I was sent on sick leave from work. I told my GP about the suicide plans. Immediately then I began to see the primarycare mental health team, they transferred me to the community mental health team. They promised me a referral to therapy services, + weekly counselling. I did not get dismissed from my job, but I ressigned due to the uncomfortable environments. I dont have suicide intentions anymore. But all this year, I have received nothing. No counselling or therapy. I have been discharged by the mental health services, referred back to my GP (just because Im not suicidal anymore). A psychiatrist diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. Then another psychiatrist diagnosed me with nothing and said I have never had clinical depression.

I am now left with no help. I thought I was on the road of recovery, but I have been discharged. I am crying EVERY EVERY day, I feel so low, so inadequate, so insecure. I feel like I have lost everything, lost someone who loved me (even if it was temp), lost my job, lost my dignity, lost my car and in piles of debt. I am so angry with the mental health services. It feels like they think I have nothing wrong with me, jst because one psychiatrist said that (after a 30mins interview with me). I am destructive. I punish myself everyday through starvation and emotional torture. I am impulsive and spend, spend, spend and have sex with strangers. Plus it was only 2 months ago, where I had made plans to end my life. Why have they let me go? Why is everyone giving up on me? I just want to give up myself now? I am crying uncontrollably just writing this. I didn't know who else to tell. I feel like I am stuck.

What should I do? Thank you for reading this.

x
 
Last edited:
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
Hi there sorry you are having such a bad time.
If it was me I would go back to the GP and see if he will push for some therapy. Your GP probably knows you a bit better than the psychiatrist you saw.
I hope it all goes well for you.
KP
 
B

Bubblyblue

Member
Joined
May 16, 2009
Messages
16
yes I will try, thanks.
 
F

flyingbluebird

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2010
Messages
70
Location
South-West England
i can relate; borderline too

i can relate i have been diagnosed Borderline and the mental health services have been worse than useless . last year i was referred to IAPT team in the south-west (until july 2009 i lived in a different part of country and had my own CPN and Psych etc) but after just two weeks they told me they couldnt help me as they were geared to helping those with mild depression and anxiety. the local mh service near me is only helpful with psychosis like schizophrenia and severe bipolar. however i have been referred by my GP to Rethink and they gave me a support worker which has helped a little
 
maxitab

maxitab

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 18, 2010
Messages
10,376
Location
In Devon
Get on the NICE site and look up the Guidelines for BPD. You will see that it is now necessary for the Trusts where you are to provide proper ( appropriate) treatment. Down load the Guidleine and take it to the CMHT and ask for the service.

Get in touch with your local PALS and ask them to take up your case. You have grounds IMO for a formal complaint.
Get in touch with Mind and ask to speak to an advocacy worker...........
 
F

flyingbluebird

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 8, 2010
Messages
70
Location
South-West England
i feel too like its getting blood out of a stone i am seeing my gp tomoro to ask for therapy again
 
amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
Hi, I hope you have a positive outcome in asking your GP to refer you for therapy, tomorrow...let us know how you get on.

qf.
 
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