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help me please im so confussed

B

babs

Member
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
24
Location
northern ireland
Hi everyone im new on here and not sure whats happening to me
i have suffered from "depression" for many years now like from i was 14 and now 24 durning that time i have had what i think looking back manic episodes to the pont i havened know what iv been doing or who i am, very voilatil and throwing heavy objects like they where paper, and have even had 4 suide attemps in that time i was seeing and hearing things that just wasnt there (or so im told) as i though my exboyfriend was trying to wreak my head, i then turned to drink and was cheating on my ex a lot as my sex drive was through the roof and then when i got depressed again i turned to cocaine just to make me feel "normal"

now its happening again only this time me and my current partner father of my 2 kids is going to leave because i want sex 24/7 and have spent £2000 in 2 months on clothes that has not been needed and am fighting with him throwing tables at him and just losing myself, in fact it got so bad that i was in a taxi going nuts (as i have been told) and pulled the steering wheel from him and near put the car in a wall at high speed, he then took me to the hospial but was let out the next day with antidressants, i was so scared when i heard about this as this is not me at all, and now i have crashed with a bang to the point i want to sit on a lit fire and the only thing i am thinking about id suidue
im very concerened cause my cpn (mental health nurse) thinks i may be bipolar and then another nurse saw me and said she thing im boarderline personality disorder my p.doc thinks its depression but want to keep in close contact to moniter my moods just in case, but why have i been perscribed a cocktail of meds : trazadone 150mg, zopiclone 7.5mg respardol 0.5mg twice daily and diaziepam 5 mg twice a day, what is going on with me and my docs and nurse all have a different opion and why am i on all this for just "depression" help please any advice would be great and anyone with the same kinda experanice

if you have got this far thanks for reading and please responed lol
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Hi everyone im new on here and not sure whats happening to me
i have suffered from "depression" for many years now like from i was 14 and now 24 durning that time i have had what i think looking back manic episodes to the pont i havened know what iv been doing or who i am, very voilatil and throwing heavy objects like they where paper, and have even had 4 suide attemps in that time i was seeing and hearing things that just wasnt there (or so im told) as i though my exboyfriend was trying to wreak my head, i then turned to drink and was cheating on my ex a lot as my sex drive was through the roof and then when i got depressed again i turned to cocaine just to make me feel "normal"

now its happening again only this time me and my current partner father of my 2 kids is going to leave because i want sex 24/7 and have spent £2000 in 2 months on clothes that has not been needed and am fighting with him throwing tables at him and just losing myself, in fact it got so bad that i was in a taxi going nuts (as i have been told) and pulled the steering wheel from him and near put the car in a wall at high speed, he then took me to the hospial but was let out the next day with antidressants, i was so scared when i heard about this as this is not me at all, and now i have crashed with a bang to the point i want to sit on a lit fire and the only thing i am thinking about id suidue
im very concerened cause my cpn (mental health nurse) thinks i may be bipolar and then another nurse saw me and said she thing im boarderline personality disorder my p.doc thinks its depression but want to keep in close contact to moniter my moods just in case, but why have i been perscribed a cocktail of meds : trazadone 150mg, zopiclone 7.5mg respardol 0.5mg twice daily and diaziepam 5 mg twice a day, what is going on with me and my docs and nurse all have a different opion and why am i on all this for just "depression" help please any advice would be great and anyone with the same kinda experanice

if you have got this far thanks for reading and please responed lol
Hi Babs and welcome to the forum. :welcome:
I went through something similar in 2004. I opted for a 6 month mental hospital stay in a dual diagnosis facility. I didn't have charge of my children, so I could manage it.
I went through an intensive battery of diagnostic tests, and subsequent treatments.
I don't think there is an 'easy' way to go for any of us.
You're very young and have a tremendous responsibility having 2 children already.
Psychotic episodes can hit the best of us, and we don't seem to have much say-so in the matter. The meds cocktail you're on sounds familiar to me as I've had them also in the past. It's to get you to slow down, get some rest, and not cause harm to yourself or others.
Taking one day at a time is so important when things seem so overwhelming. This is all my own personal opinion from experiences I've had. I'm hoping it helps you to not feel so alone in your situation.
Maybe you would be interested in journaling? There's a section on the forum just for that. Sometimes when you write things down, you can get some perspective on them. I wish you well, and keep posting! :flowers:
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,624
Hello and Welcome to the forum, I know the cocktail of drugs you are on sound daunting but it is quite common for people to be on a mixture like that.
I hope that things settle down for you a little soon, you must be having a very hard time of it at the moment.

Take Care and keep posting as Ms_P said.

There will be someone to listen

KS
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
868
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
Hi there,
I could relate to your spending. (I managed to spend about £15,000) Also I become very hyper-sexual. Recently I have been having thoughts of being violent. I've had many diagnoses over the years, including BPD too. Sometimes they get the diagnoses right - sometimes not. It took a long time for me to be diagnosed with Bipolar.

Welcome to the site.
Jacqui
 
B

babs

Member
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
24
Location
northern ireland
hi thankyou so much for welcoming me im hoping this site will help me put things into perspective as sometimes i find when im in mith my doc i freeze up and start talking in tounges skipping from 1 thing to other and he even looks confused lol so maybe writing down will help with that, thankyou for your advice ect and i will be glad to post more, i dont want to be like this at all i really want to be well for my family but im scaring them and i dont seam to be able to control it, i had asked the crisis team to adimit me to hospital but they say im best being with my kids as some how they get me through the day but i dont want them to be mentaly scared either and if im honest the meds arent working yet in saying that im as irritable and im scared of what coming next as this is something i hsve fought with for many years and my very 1st diosis was deperssion anxiety imsomia when i was 15 and then post dramatic stress disorder at 17 and now all this im lost in madness if it was any of these why has it came back only more worse with the highs of enegery being out of control any why gona get a quick cuppa and try and slow my mind down as its in overload and it feels like its going to explode with so much rushing through it at the same time yet the other day when i was suidal i felt like i wasnt here like i was just drifting through space like a gas or something any way will be back soon
 
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