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Help me help my family member

M

Myusername91

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Joined
Sep 6, 2018
Messages
2
I don't want to go into a huge amount of detail, I will if it helps, but I think my bf might have some type of delusional disorder. I'm not really for sure. He had a problem with substance abuse and is now clean and sober over a year now. Ever since he's been paranoid, it has caused him to lose and not be able to keep a job, lose relationships with family and friends, and now his own little family. We are separated right now, because he has turned on me and now thinks that I'm plotting against him and betrayed him. He thinks people are making fun of him and hears things that people aren't actually saying. It's gotten worse in the past month and has progressed pretty fast. He didn't even trust people driving past our home. I don't know what to do. I am the person he accuses and doesn't trust, so I don't know how to help. I can't even give you a proper diagnosis, because I'm no Dr. I just know this isn't normal and it's not normal to sit and gather information on a computer about make believe conspiracies. If anyone can help me reason with him without causing him to be in defense mode and convince him there is a problem and he needs help that would be wonderful. I don't even know how to speak to him anymore, everything I do is something outrageous and untrue and he won't listen. Does this sound like a form of schizophrenia?? How do I tell him to get help when he thinks nothing is wrong?
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
812
You are in a very difficult position. I don't remember any good advice for you but there is a book written for people with your exact problem that you might be able to get from a library. It is also on Amazon for sale. It is called You Need Help!: A Step-by-Step Plan to Convince a Loved One to Get Counseling, written by Mark S. Komrad. Good luck.
 
M

Myusername91

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2018
Messages
2
Thank you. I've read into his symptoms and it says people who have a problem with paranoia and delusions are very hard to convince that they do need help. I will look into the book you suggested, thank you.

Not being nosey, but have you or a family member been diagnosed with something similar? Any advise on how you may have realized you needed help or how you got a loved one to realize they needed help? Or is this going to be nearly impossible? I really don't want to watch him spiral and self destroy anymore. He can be very defensive and most times very irritable and unpredictable. I'm worried for what's to come.
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
812
I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia due to paranoia, delusions and hallucinations, and negative symptoms. When it first started happening I had very good insight that something very abnormal was happening to me, but I still was able to keep most of it a secret and didn't get help because I didn't want to be seen as crazy. Then along the path of my illness, I gradually started losing some of my insight and things started getting very bad. Finally I decided to give the path of my life into the hands of the professionals and humbly followed all their recommended treatments. Since then I have improved and now realize that maybe I do have schizophrenia, although there are still things that I believe that my wife doesn't.
Sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they are willing to get help. Sometimes they have to be arrested for a crime and they are sometimes forced to get help. Sometimes they have to get so psychotic that they are a danger to themselves or others and are hospitalized against their will. Hopefully if you read the book I mentioned it will help you and him. Sometimes after getting on a medication, the person improves enough that they regain some of their insight that there is something wrong with them and they thank you for helping them get into treatment. I hope this happens in your case and wish you the best of luck.
There is another older book than the one I mentioned above that also may help. It is I'm Not Sick, I don't Need Help! How To Help Someone With Mental Illness Accept Treatment by Xavior Amador.
 
R

ramboghettouk

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Founding Member
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Jan 7, 2008
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Location
london
I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia due to paranoia, delusions and hallucinations, and negative symptoms. When it first started happening I had very good insight that something very abnormal was happening to me, but I still was able to keep most of it a secret and didn't get help because I didn't want to be seen as crazy. Then along the path of my illness, I gradually started losing some of my insight and things started getting very bad. Finally I decided to give the path of my life into the hands of the professionals and humbly followed all their recommended treatments. Since then I have improved and now realize that maybe I do have schizophrenia, although there are still things that I believe that my wife doesn't.
Sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they are willing to get help. Sometimes they have to be arrested for a crime and they are sometimes forced to get help. Sometimes they have to get so psychotic that they are a danger to themselves or others and are hospitalized against their will. Hopefully if you read the book I mentioned it will help you and him. Sometimes after getting on a medication, the person improves enough that they regain some of their insight that there is something wrong with them and they thank you for helping them get into treatment. I hope this happens in your case and wish you the best of luck.
There is another older book than the one I mentioned above that also may help. It is I'm Not Sick, I don't Need Help! How To Help Someone With Mental Illness Accept Treatment by Xavior Amador.
i still remember this psychiatrist saying it's the same as if you have the flu, i give you drugs to treat the flu, i then say you haven't got the flu
 
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