• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Help making partner understand...

A

AussieGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
54
Location
London
First off - Hiya!

I'm 22, live in London with my partner and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This follows a string of bad doctors diagnosing me with adhd, ocd and just general depression.

I have cycles of mania - where I am very reckless, I will spend too much money, have a ridiculous sex drive, do impulsive things (like bleach my dark brown hair blonde), have crazy ideas and plans about my future (I convinced myself the other week that I was going to be a world famous trance dj - I don't dj for the record, or even really like trance...)

Then I get down, and I can't even bring myself to shower, I struggle to clean, I completely over eat (I have put on 25kgs in the last year), I can't concentrate, I am forgetful, I cry all the time and I struggle to keep focus at work.

Then there's the mixed states - you will never understand this feeling unless you have had bipolar but feeling manic, yet so depressed you want to die at the same time. In these states I get hysterical, I cry, I cut myself and the other week I tried to take all my tablets in one go.

My partner doesn't know how to deal with me, he just gets angry and upset. He thinks the reason I don't clean is that I am lazy, or that I can control my binge eating and make myself exercise. He tries so hard to support me, but doesn't realise how the littlest things can crush me.

I am just interested to know how other people have made their partners understand...because it's causing some serious problems in our relationship :confused:

Any one out there got a clue??

CJ xxx
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
i hate the mixed states there difficult 2 understand even i get confused by them at times especially as u say being high and so low at the same time it,s so soul destroying i can,t cope with it either i feel for u also mate
 
A

AussieGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
54
Location
London
thanks :)

I know, it's the weirdest feeling...

I find it so amazing that there are so many people out there with the same symptoms exactly as me...it's an incredibly complex disorder.

Before I got it, I was modelling and exercising all the time and now - i've just totally let myself go, sometimes I don't shower for days...

But I am totally committed to beating this thing!!! :):clap:
 
S

skyblue

Guest
I feel exactly the same as you right now, mixed episodes and rapid cycling - Bipolar can't make up it's mind !

It's hard to say how we can make our partners understand, because they will never fully understand because they've never suffered these symptoms at all. If somebody has suffered with depression, then they can understand alittle, but these mixed bipolar episodes are just so complex to explain to anybody that isn't bipolar.

They can only understand to a certain extent by us explaining the symptoms and seeing how we behave, but that's all we can do. Unfortunately, there isn't anything more we can do about that.

If your partner loves you, he will support you through whatever, whether he understands or not. Him being angry and upset maybe because he feels hopeless because he can't help you be well and that he hasn't got that magic wand to make you feel better. He maybe annoyed that you have to suffer like this. This is how my partner feels.

Thinking of you and wishing you better x:flowers:
 
S

skyblue

Guest
I've just had another thought Aussie, Nattyone posted a really good video not so long ago about a Psychiatrist who was explaining Bipolar illness. You could possibly show this to your partner in hope he can understand alittle more.

I'll try and find it for you.
 
Kos

Kos

Active member
Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
Bipolar ruined my relationship with my little boy's dad.

When I was depressed he took it personally that it was him making me unhappy, he didn't understand what I had to be sad about.

But the mania is what really killed it, texting other guys, spending sprees getting into debt and lying about it, taking drugs, coming up with crazy ideas and falling out with him for not supporting them.

I don't know how to make someone understand - I don't think most can ever understand, only someone very special could do that.
 
A

AussieGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
54
Location
London
Kos - I can completely relate. What is with that need for approval from other men? Texting other guys...seriously...I don't even need that attention! Ugh!! Bipolar is a total pain sometimes!!

Sky - if you find that vid that'd be totally amazing :)

xxx
 
Top