Help!!! In desperate need of information

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harrywilliams

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Joined
Feb 21, 2018
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2
#1
Hello :),

I am 18 years old and have left university, having only spent one term there, because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (around December time). I am taking 100mg of sertraline a day to help me cope, and needless to say, I seem to be a lot happier. However, one thing that isn't improving is this element of depersonalisation/derealisation. My GP hasn't specifically told me that I have this, however, I have researched a hell of a lot and all of the symptoms seem to pretty much correlate to what I'm experiencing.

I wake up every morning feeling so depressed, it takes me a while to get out of bed. Then when I finally do get out, I just don't feel real; it feels as if everything is a dream :unsure: .

As well as this, it takes so much energy to undergo the simplest of tasks, i.e. brushing my teeth, showering, even merely walking anywhere. I just feel like I'm going to pass out/fall asleep any minute. Not to mention the debilitating fatigue and lethargy!! :low:

The vast majority of the time I feel as though I am watching someone else live their life. I feel almost automated or zombie-like (these are terms I used to describe the sensation before I read them on any article about depersonalisation).

My issue is that no one seems to consider this a severe problem, because I am able to clamber about my day. However, I haven't got a job as I simply just lack the energy and motivation for one.

It is important to note that, in university, I discovered the pleasures of weed. I was smoking a hell of a lot in university and would sometimes even turn up to my lectures stoned. Nonetheless, I would not consider myself to have been, 'addicted' to weed as I did not feel any attachment or dependency towards it. I also have not done any drugs since November of last year (I stopped MDMA a while ago).

My point is to question whether weed is a significant factor when it comes to depersonalisation and anxiety; I had never experienced these disorders prior to university.

If anyone could shed any light on my situation, because I have never been so confused in my life, that would be amazing! :peace:

Thank you!!!
 
B

Bogomil

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Feb 2, 2018
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#2
Hi, H.! Diagnostics are valid only when made by a professional. Internet based medicine is not an option, as a lot of ailments have the same symptoms and it takes medical knowledge and practical experience to put a certain diagnostic, especially when it comes to mental health. So, take with a pinch of salt all your diagnostics put by yourself and not by a pro. You describe a number of symptoms which are resembling depersonalization, but as there is no professional diagnostic and you do weed, one cannot exclude the effects of weed. As far as I know, the effect of weed is quite different from a person to another and on a wide range. So, if you want to have a little light over your situation, a good ideea might be to address to a professional.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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#3
I would advise that instead of reading the medical literature on diagnosis you read the peer support stories on recovery and taking control. It’s the place where long time service users almost always end up - the recognition that helpers can only do so much for us, and that we ourselves have to take charge, and realise that helpers are only one of the tools that can aid us.

I think Bogomil’s point is well made, only a medical professional can diagnose, and if one has been prescribing you Sertraline and you’re interested in your diagnosis, you should just ask. Usually doctors or gps make no big deal of sharing what they think you suffer from.

To address the weed thing, it’s very possible the weed caused your anxiety issues. It’s well known for bringing out a number of mental health problems if used intensely or for a long period. Some people get paranoia, others get anxiety. Not doing drugs and living clean is a good idea for a mental health sufferer.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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#4
Hi, depression and anxiety suck. From your post it sounds like you have only been on treatment since December. I know that probably feels like forever, but it's really not long in terms of recovering from depression. Have you spoken to your university about why you left? I suffered with depression badly in my 3rd year and the university were very supportive. Its very common for students to develop mental health problems and most universities are set up to support this. Mine provided a free counceĺing service which was very useful. If you are wanting to continue at university and haven't already I would explain what is going on, they may be able to work something out for you even if it's starting the course again next year.

Stay away from the weed and other drugs (including excess alcohol) they are BAD for your mental health . Long term they can really mess things up. My husband used weed (and other things occasionally) and alcohol to cope for many years. His psychiatrist is now trying to work out if that is the cause of his psychosis or just worsened and underlying mental health condition, whichever it was they have done a lot of damage. I grew up thinking weed was a 'safe ' drug, it's not.

It is possible to completely recover from depression, it takes time and ideally therapy or counceĺing alongside the medication. Keep setting yourself little goals e.g. to have a shower, to get dressed, to walk to the end of the road... also I find mindfulness, meditation and exercise helpful once you feel well enough.
 
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H

harrywilliams

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Joined
Feb 21, 2018
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2
#5
Thanks for all the replies guys! Yeah I have been trying to budge my doctor for a while to elucidate some more but they never reply when I ask them if they can. I know they're not professionals in mental health, but I wish they would at least direct me to someone who is.
 
A

Anna156

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Apr 10, 2018
Messages
98
#6
Hi Harry,

Have you been able to make any progress since your last message?

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so detached from yourself. Having experienced such episodes myself I know it to be numbing and unnerving at the same time. As said by others, I recommend you to be careful with trying to either diagnose or find a cure online. The same symptoms may very well have a different cause, and what works for one person may be the opposite for you. Other than that, it's my personal opinion that although the internet has a TON of information, it doesn't hold any magical key to your own happiness. Put your intuition and the expertise of health care professionals first, and then enrich your sharing experience online, instead of the other way around. If your doctor is unable to assist you in your mental health journey and refuses to direct you to someone who can, find a new doctor. Many people feel like that's something they can't or shouldn't do, but you need to take steps to find a health care professional that's willing to work with you as hard as you want to work on yourself.

Good luck!

Xo Anna
 

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