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Help I'm a paranoid mess!



New member
May 9, 2015
Hi all I've just joined it's 1:45am and my paranoia is keeping me awake I have aspd and adhd really bad anxiety and on and off depression my paranoia is destroying my relationship I've been with the girl of my dreams for 16 weeks and whenever I'm not with her my stupid brain makes up exaggerated scenarios out of tiny bits of information I just keep mulling it over until I actually believe it myself she can see it and I know itS going to tear us apart we both have mental health problems she's very selfish but not on purpose she has problems getting attached ! I know she loves me we have awesome times together but when I'm not with her my head just starts wondering down roads I don't want to go down I came out of a ten year relationship that was just awful I was scared to be alone so just put up with it but he what she done to me (cheating) has left an emotional scar I don't want this to become a burden on my new gf as she is awesome and I've fallen madly in love with her I'm 28 she's 23 I just don't know what to do in sittin here with tears in my eyes terrified I'm going to loose her I'm a very needy and cuddly person but she likes her space I do try to back off but I feel like I'm not showing her I love and care for her any advice is welcome and thanks for reading


Well-known member
Aug 17, 2012
The West Country
Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you've not had a response yet.

I think it's important for you to keep in mind that a lot of this paranoia probably stems from the fact that you have been very hurt in the past.
It's natural for your mind to want to protect itself from being hurt again and so a certain amount of scrutiny whilst you are still building a relationship is probably to be expected, i'm guessing.

But it does sound like this is really disrupting your life and affecting your sleep!
As you've said you both have mental health issues, I presume she is aware that you are prone to paranoia?
If you can both try to have the awareness that one another's illnesses are not who you are, then it might help you not be so hurt unnecessarily.

As somebody who values my personal space and time alone, I can say that i'm pretty sure her alone time is something that she needs.
I know that if i'm around anybody for too long - no matter how much I love them - I start to get tired and short-tempered. It really is like my batteries are low and I need to be alone to recharge.
So yeah, it really doesn't sound like something you should worry about and definitely not something you should take personally.

Are you able to distract yourself when you have these thoughts/images?
Also, do you have your own interests independent from your girlfriend? If you can learn to appreciate and value time on your own, perhaps it might not be so painful when you aren't spending time with her.


Well-known member
Dec 3, 2013
Georgia, USA
The mind can be a terrible thing.
Do your thoughts when not with her , make you think she is cheating?
Do you find yourself "Checking " on her too much.?
Has she said your to clingy?

If she thinks your overwhelming her to much , it may not end well .IMO

I been there done that.

Love is a B$#@# So trust her & if she does you wrong , She was not the one for you. IMO
If it is meant to be it will be . Also My opinion.