• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Help...I want to sh

G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
Woke up real depressed and full of anxiety. I have to say I don't externally hurt myself but I do purge when my emotions are as such. Although I don't do external things I fantasize about it a lot. I feel like it this morning for the first time. I just want all the negative emotions to go away. I am hurting so much inside right now. Please help!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hey :)

Do you know what brought on these feelings of actually wanting to self harm? Anything in particular setting it off?
 
P

Purple butterfly

Guest
Hey sweetheart....

What's made you feel like this do you know x
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
I have a mom figure in my life by the name of kathy. I became real dependent on her and the bpd behavior got to be too much so she requested that she get some space...she has requested no contact whatsoever. She wants me to work on my borderline behaviors and being able to stand on my own two feet before coming back into my life. I miss her terribly today and the anxiety is so high. I want so bad to write her but I know my therapist and mom said no. The anxiety and urge to sh is high
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
I can try it. I am just so so angry with myself for having this disorder and that I have allowed it to ruin my relationship with her. I just want to suffer the pain. I can't stop crying today and I've been in bed for 2 days. I feel so depressed
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
That is the goal from my mom and therapist. I on the other hand am suffering and is just wishing to hug her just once more. The ache and pain in the heart is to unbearable. My only way to rid myself of this is sh. The sad part is that I have been purging for the last hour and the pain is still there.
 
P

Purple butterfly

Guest
Hey beautiful.... Self harm won't help. Please believe me on this.... It only takes once, please don't sh... Just love yourself and get a nice hot bath or shower eat some chocolate and write your feelings down x
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
I love you alonegirl...I will try. The pain inside is so strong. I just want to feel physical pain rather than the emotional pain.
 
P

Purple butterfly

Guest
I am so sorry... Your feeling so bad but please don't self harm your stronger than that...I think of many alternatives if you would like x
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
914
Location
Lincolnshire
I'm with alone girl on this one - sh isn't the answer hunny, you'll feel worse inthe long run. I know it's easy to say and not so easy to do. Could you watch a film? Go for a little walk (even if just round the garden) call a friend, eat chocolate / I've cream / any comfort food, write a letter to someone even if you don't send it, listen to some music through headphones, wrap yourself up in a blanket / duvet and think of nice things, places you've been or would like to go to?
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
Thank you so much. Lying in bed for I fear if I get out I will act on it. Feeling impulsive and now suicidal. I am so tired of hurting inside..I want the pain to go away
 
P

Purple butterfly

Guest
Love you girl stay strong you can pm me when you want and I will do my very best to distract you x
 
Top