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Help, I think my Mum is Bipolar....

S

Samantha

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2009
Messages
2
Hello,

I have just come home from my Mum's house and it was the worst Christmas I have ever had. I had to cut the visit short due to my Mum's inappropriate outburst which resulted in, first my brother and his wife leaving without saying goodbye followed by me today!

We all arrived on Christmas Eve went out for dinner and had a lovely evening. Despite my Mum trying to be the centre of attention and fishing for compliments (we have got used to this behavior over the past few years. Still better then last year when my brother and his wife had to sit in a restaurant while she cried her eyes out). . . Anyway, we all sat down for breakfast on Christmas day and we were having a giggle messing around when out of the blue she had a huge outburst which resulted in a huge arguement and my Brother and sister in Law leaving without saying goodbye. My Mum then went on to continue the day as if nothing had happened, I was devastated. I tried to continue the day and keep my mouth shut. (This has happened before and I know that she cannot speak rationally, she thinks people are jealous of her and there are issues between people which don't exsist).

It is as thought the world revolves around her, over the past few years I have not been able to have a conversation with her as she does not listen to me, talks over me and repeats herself over and over again. She has lost all her friends over the years, fallen out with her sisters, driven away her husbands (including my Father) and if she continues is going to loose her son and daughter. If we try and talk to her she says we are are the ones with the problem and we need therapy (she has had therapy over the years, but it does not seem to have worked). She also cannot hold down a job and does not seem to realize the importance of having one, not only for financial reasons, but to socialize and be involved with people and life.

Also she has always suffered from depression and did have a nervous breakdown several years ago, for which she was treated...

What should we do?
Many Thanks and Good Health.
 
J

jekel1

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 9, 2009
Messages
123
Location
bradford west yorks
hi

its hard for you this , the only way you can help her is to get her to the doctor i know thats easy said than done you would be good to sit in on the appointment
thats the only way i can see, she needs to realize she has a problem before she gets help though. i have bi polar and it was my sister who dragged me to the doctors and has been in many a session to tell the docs what im doing i really dont know what else to say except try your best to talk to her x sorry i couldnt be more help x
 
C

corrado444

Member
Joined
Dec 28, 2009
Messages
5
Are we related?

Boy if it doesn't sound like my mother.
I am very sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is. In my case my mom is a lost cause and I live 4000 miles away (she is a big part of the reason).
Her behavior is not identical, but similar enough to read a lot of what I have gone through with her in your story.

Once, I was waiting for a transplant and she came to "help". Inside 4 days she left in a huff and we didn't speak for years afterward. To this day, she believes I kicked her out of the house. A complete falsehood, but one that must give her some comfort.

My mother is too old to change, but yours may be still saved if you can rally the rest of the family and some sort of professional to help you. But you will need absolute unity and clarity of purpose.
We tried that some time ago. All the children got together and hashed a plan, except that when we put the pedal to the metal most chickened out and gave in to her (making me look like the ass%^&).

When I asked them later on what the heck happened, they just said they could not bear to witness the agony. So they choose to continue it forever.

Sounds like your mother is a master manipulator, mine is. I am almost 100% sure that deep inside she knows what she is doing. Her behavior is too calculated.
heck, in a moment of weakness she so much as admitted it to me. It just didn't last very long.

If I could go back in time, I'd videotape her because I know that if she could see herself she would be horrified at the way she behaves. I am sure many would disagree and indeed it could make things worse, but in my case they really cannot get much worse.

One last piece of advise: It's not going to get better on its own.

Good luck.
 
S

Samantha

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2009
Messages
2
Thank you...

Thank you soooooo much for your reply. It's reassuring to know there are people out there going through a similar experience.
I am gong away for for a month now, but plan to take action when I get back!
 
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