G
goodbf
Member
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2011
- Messages
- 6
Hey I need some advice, I got to write this stuff out to get it out of my head and get some educated feedback. Not quite sure where to start cuz it seems like so much has gone on in the last 5-6 months that I've been with this woman.
anyhow, the first few weeks were great, she did tell me that she had trust issues, that her parents where separated, and that her mother was abusive and that her mother also tried to commit suicide twice "to see if her father would save her". but anyhow I fell hard for this woman quickly, really thought that she could be the one.
in our less than half a year relationship she has broken up with me several times, some times she will ignore me, not answering text or phone calls for days. she gets upset at the smallest things, and everything seems to be my fault.
examples of my faults:
1. she gets cold very easily, I actually like the house a bit cooler. so when she comes over I turn the temp. up at least 5+ degrees. I even told her she could put the space heater in the bedroom. well one night, the space heater was in the walkway, so I just moved it about 5 feet so as to not trip on it. Mind you I didn't turn it off or unplug it, just moved it. She blew up, for two hours she through a tantrum, telling me "I am selfish, and I don't give a shit about anyone but me!!!" I know the neighbors had to have heard her. so she takes the heater and goes into the family room and says she if not going to sleep with me and continues her rant.
2. one night we were having a nice evening, just finished dinner and we we're watching a movie. she decided that she wanted to take a nap so she laid down on the couch and put her head on my lap. to volume was too loud so I got up to turn it down, then I got back to the couch and as I was reaching my arm back over her she lifted her head to put it back on my lap, and bump. I accidentally elbowed her in the head. I didn't think that I hit her very hard, but she was hurting, so I got her an ice pack, got her an aspirin, got the shower ready for her. I thought that she was starting to feel better about an hour later, when she starts accusing me of doing it on purpose. it took me an hour, at least to calm her down before bed. < next morn > we wake up, 5 minutes later she starts with the whole thing again. I ask her to see it, there is NO bump, NO redness, NO black and blue mark, but she tells me a gave her a concussion. next, for two hours she is throwing a fit, she knocks over my computer, throws things around the house, literally rips my shirt off my back (as im trying to call a friend to come over) and help to calm the situation. I ask her to leave, she wont leave. then I ask her why she knocked my stuff around, and she from point blank hits me in the face with pepper spray............
ok those are just two examples.... I could give more.....
I know im not perfect but I have really been trying... 4 or 5 days ago we got back together after she cut me off for a week. couple months ago I did a photo shot with my gf and a few other girls. so I send 3 pictures to my gf and one pic to each on of the other girls.
my gf texts me "so fuck those other girls dude, go to hell, u r horrible, you'll get your karma bitch.....on and on and on...." ok, I email pictures out wft?
so that night, she asks me to come over, we have a nice intimate evening, we are getting ready to go to sleep, we tell each other we love one another, and then she gets a mad about the pics again. telling me "your art is garbage, I'm going to work with other people besides you......on and on......" then she tells me to leave her house..... so I do end up leaving..... again, I haven't heard anything from her for 4-5 days.
now, that last night I was there, she says to me "I think that you are borderline, like my mom". I'm thinking was is that??? wft? ok. so I start researching BPD. and I got to say, a lot of the BPD symptoms I have read about, I can see in her.
what do I do? help her? stay with her? keep trying to reach out to her? cut her off and run away?
to me it seems that, if her mother has BPD, and she was raised by her mother with the father gone, then perhaps she has a touch of it??? the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
I love her, soooo much, but this is so damn draining. what do I do???
anyhow, the first few weeks were great, she did tell me that she had trust issues, that her parents where separated, and that her mother was abusive and that her mother also tried to commit suicide twice "to see if her father would save her". but anyhow I fell hard for this woman quickly, really thought that she could be the one.
in our less than half a year relationship she has broken up with me several times, some times she will ignore me, not answering text or phone calls for days. she gets upset at the smallest things, and everything seems to be my fault.
examples of my faults:
1. she gets cold very easily, I actually like the house a bit cooler. so when she comes over I turn the temp. up at least 5+ degrees. I even told her she could put the space heater in the bedroom. well one night, the space heater was in the walkway, so I just moved it about 5 feet so as to not trip on it. Mind you I didn't turn it off or unplug it, just moved it. She blew up, for two hours she through a tantrum, telling me "I am selfish, and I don't give a shit about anyone but me!!!" I know the neighbors had to have heard her. so she takes the heater and goes into the family room and says she if not going to sleep with me and continues her rant.
2. one night we were having a nice evening, just finished dinner and we we're watching a movie. she decided that she wanted to take a nap so she laid down on the couch and put her head on my lap. to volume was too loud so I got up to turn it down, then I got back to the couch and as I was reaching my arm back over her she lifted her head to put it back on my lap, and bump. I accidentally elbowed her in the head. I didn't think that I hit her very hard, but she was hurting, so I got her an ice pack, got her an aspirin, got the shower ready for her. I thought that she was starting to feel better about an hour later, when she starts accusing me of doing it on purpose. it took me an hour, at least to calm her down before bed. < next morn > we wake up, 5 minutes later she starts with the whole thing again. I ask her to see it, there is NO bump, NO redness, NO black and blue mark, but she tells me a gave her a concussion. next, for two hours she is throwing a fit, she knocks over my computer, throws things around the house, literally rips my shirt off my back (as im trying to call a friend to come over) and help to calm the situation. I ask her to leave, she wont leave. then I ask her why she knocked my stuff around, and she from point blank hits me in the face with pepper spray............
ok those are just two examples.... I could give more.....
I know im not perfect but I have really been trying... 4 or 5 days ago we got back together after she cut me off for a week. couple months ago I did a photo shot with my gf and a few other girls. so I send 3 pictures to my gf and one pic to each on of the other girls.
my gf texts me "so fuck those other girls dude, go to hell, u r horrible, you'll get your karma bitch.....on and on and on...." ok, I email pictures out wft?
so that night, she asks me to come over, we have a nice intimate evening, we are getting ready to go to sleep, we tell each other we love one another, and then she gets a mad about the pics again. telling me "your art is garbage, I'm going to work with other people besides you......on and on......" then she tells me to leave her house..... so I do end up leaving..... again, I haven't heard anything from her for 4-5 days.
now, that last night I was there, she says to me "I think that you are borderline, like my mom". I'm thinking was is that??? wft? ok. so I start researching BPD. and I got to say, a lot of the BPD symptoms I have read about, I can see in her.
what do I do? help her? stay with her? keep trying to reach out to her? cut her off and run away?
to me it seems that, if her mother has BPD, and she was raised by her mother with the father gone, then perhaps she has a touch of it??? the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
I love her, soooo much, but this is so damn draining. what do I do???