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Help, I don't think this is normal for pure o ocd

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Bubbly2013

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Apr 13, 2013
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I have pure o ocd and am on medication but before I take my medication I question myself saying "why are u taking this, u probably don't need this, ur normal and just want to run away from what u truly want"
Or something like " I don't need to take these cause u don't have OCD" OR " one day u'll stop taking this because u will see who u truly are someday"
And then I begin to imagine me not taking my meds and I feel like I might stop taking these medication coz of these thoughts...I don't know is this part of the OCD????

Please does anybody else do this coz its starting to scare me coz I don't know what I am anymore...Is it just ME?
 
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darlingdiva26

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Apr 10, 2013
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I think everyone who has been placed on medication to feel like that. I suffered depression and PPD after the birth of my second son. I thought I didn't need the medicine to "get better" that I was fine but in reality I wasn't. Thankfully the Zoloft for 4 months worked wonders and I haven't needed any anto depressants since. I am on lamictal but for a painful syndrome called TN. I know someone who was severely bi-polar. He was called a rapid cycling bi-polar. He would get prescribed medicine than take it for a week, swear he was better and this was just the governments way of controlling him.

I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal :) No one wants to acknowledge the fact that sometimes we need medication to help us be our awesome lovable selves!
 
flowergirl

flowergirl

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Hi
It must be scary but I do think its part of the ocd to have intrusive thoughts you cant control and dont want. I jknow it isnt easy but if you can replace that thought that pops up with something else so you stop thinking it over time it should fade away.even a nursery rhyme or your favourite thing will help. Maybe when its time to take youre tablets start singing it to yourself and concentrate on ths words its pretty darn hard to think two things at one time. If you think something over and over it becomes fact in your brain so "should I be taking these meds" eventually becomes well I dont need them etc. If you stop your mind from going there you can break the cycle of the thought
 
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Bubbly2013

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I'm not scared about taking the medication because I'm in denial that there is NOTHING wrong with me and that I don't need to "get better" because i dont like being a "sick" person...I know these thoughts are not my own and the OCD is trying to make me believe that deep down I'm actually a satanist deep or that I secretly want to be one even though that will completely DESTROY me and that am using the OCD as an excuse to hide my "true" desires...I'm just asking if its normal for OCD sufferer if they ever doubted their need for the medication because they feel like they truly are what they dread??? That's what scares me.
 
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Bubbly2013

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Hi
It must be scary but I do think its part of the ocd to have intrusive thoughts you cant control and dont want. I jknow it isnt easy but if you can replace that thought that pops up with something else so you stop thinking it over time it should fade away.even a nursery rhyme or your favourite thing will help. Maybe when its time to take youre tablets start singing it to yourself and concentrate on ths words its pretty darn hard to think two things at one time. If you think something over and over it becomes fact in your brain so "should I be taking these meds" eventually becomes well I dont need them etc. If you stop your mind from going there you can break the cycle of the thought
Flowergirl, are u urself experienced with OCD because ur REALLY scaring me when u say: " If you think something over and over it becomes fact in your brain so "should I be taking these meds" eventually becomes well I dont need them etc"
That is the very thing I'm trying to PREVENT? So could it happen??? Like eventually I will just submit to my thoughts and start following then ?????
Is that possible?
Can someone with OCD PLEASE COMMENT BECAUSE IM TERRIFIED!!
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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Hi Bubbly2013

I truly think most people with any mental health diagnosis have questioned their need for medication and struggled to come to terms with the label placed on them, I know I did.

I didn't want to be unwell I was always the one in control and having to accept support felt very alien to me.

I never got formally diagnosed with OCD although I was very close to it before I got some therapy.

Are you receiving any other support or just medication?
 
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Bubbly2013

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It's not me being afraid of the "label" of being "unwell".. I know Iam unwell and I know I must take the medication to get better and I'm not complaining coz I do acknowledge that there is something wrong with me.
Since u experienced ocd u probably might understand but my worry is I'm thinking that I don't need to take medication because Iam just using OCD as a cover up for me truly wanting to be a satanist..I donno but THAT is what scares me...I don't know if that's the OCD or if I'm actually wanting to be a satanist D:?????
 
angry butterfly

angry butterfly

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this is the ocd doing this bubbly. ocd is very sly, if you conquer it one way but the anxiety is still there it will find another way round, if you know what i mean.
you really should go to your gp and tell them what is happening. they will probably put you on a higher dose of meds but also i think what you really need is some form of therapy to help you sort your anxiety out.
 
flowergirl

flowergirl

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Yes I have ocd im sorry I wasn't trying to scare you I was just pointing out that if you tell yourself bad things through feeling a certain way you can make yourself believe it. Your ocd does not make you a bad person or satanic it wont turn you into something bad its just that because the thoughts are there you believe it is so even though thats not the case.I definarely think some help with your anxiety will help a great deal I have often been distressed in the past that I was truly this awful person because I had to do things a certain way and I would make others life hell because of it I was convinced that the ocd was an excuse for a deep need to get my own way but it wasnt although I strongly believed that at the time it was the ocd. A year after being treated although it was a long time before I saw anyone it came down from a level of extreme to managable
 
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Bubbly2013

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It's ok flowergirl..it's not ur fault. I just jump to conclusions and..like I can feel the threat sometimes and it scares me to death because I feel like its so close to actually happening...I don't have experience with what ocd makes you think because my therapist hasn't explained it that well and my next appointment to see the psychiatrist since I moved is in July :/

Also what do you mean by "I was just pointing out that if you tell yourself bad through feeling a certain way you can make yourself believe it"?? Is this what's happening with my OCD or is it something else?
 
flowergirl

flowergirl

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I think its called your internal script everyone has one you know the thoughts you have about yourself when we arent well for any reson that script can become negative and the more you think something the more you believe it to be a fact. In ocd I believe this is intensified a hundred fold. Its part of the condition and I am certain that if you didnt have ocd you would not be thinking you were evil or satanic. I honestly believe its because of the condition
 
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