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Help! I’m an introvert and I need advice

A

Ani

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
3
Location
BD
Hi,new to the forum. I need advice. So a friend of mine is getting married next week and as I’m an extremely introverted person I don’t want to go to the wedding😖 The thought of having to go to a large gathering sickness me. Even though my other friends will be there but I just can’t bring myself to get as excited as they are. I constantly get judged for my introversion from both family and friends alike. How do I cope up with this please help. The situation is taking a toll on my mental health 😔
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,459
Location
Canada
Hi, welcome to the forum. I can relate to how you feel. Not sure what you can do. Sometimes we've got to endure a few hours in situations we dislike. I guess your presence is expected but other than that, no need to feel pressure.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,225
Hi,new to the forum. I need advice. So a friend of mine is getting married next week and as I’m an extremely introverted person I don’t want to go to the wedding😖 The thought of having to go to a large gathering sickness me. Even though my other friends will be there but I just can’t bring myself to get as excited as they are. I constantly get judged for my introversion from both family and friends alike. How do I cope up with this please help. The situation is taking a toll on my mental health 😔
Hi there :welcome: to the Forum. It's not nice is it when we're not the most out-going of people, and then we get criticised for being the people that we are.... Could some of the issue here be having to live to other's expectations? How about your expectations? Aren't they more important? :) If you remove the expectation other's are putting on you, how do you really feel about going to this Wedding? Being true to yourself what path would you like to take regarding this event? Hope this helps :)
 
A

Ani

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Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
3
Location
BD
Hi there :welcome: to the Forum. It's not nice is it when we're not the most out-going of people, and then we get criticised for being the people that we are.... Could some of the issue here be having to live to other's expectations? How about your expectations? Aren't they more important? :) If you remove the expectation other's are putting on you, how do you really feel about going to this Wedding? Being true to yourself what path would you like to take regarding this event? Hope this helps :)
In all honesty,I don’t want to go neither i’ve the energy to deal with all these.I can talk to them over text or even phone over hours but the face to face interaction gets me everytime.I’ve not met them in almost a year now due to the pandemic and now that everything is going back to almost normal in my place, it’s freaking me out! Going to uni(they are all my uni buddies) was hard enough as it is and now with this approaching wedding it is getting harder.Sooner or later they all gonna cut me off from their lives( most probably I too will after my graduation) which is understandable and I’m okay with it...but the constant feeling of getting judged by the people who were supposed to understand you is overwhelming. The upcoming 2 weeks is definitely gonna take a toll on me😔 Sorry for ranting. I’ve been feeling so much down lately with everyone getting all judgy towards me.Thank you for your time though🙂
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
926
Hi,new to the forum. I need advice. So a friend of mine is getting married next week and as I’m an extremely introverted person I don’t want to go to the wedding😖 The thought of having to go to a large gathering sickness me. Even though my other friends will be there but I just can’t bring myself to get as excited as they are. I constantly get judged for my introversion from both family and friends alike. How do I cope up with this please help. The situation is taking a toll on my mental health 😔
if the social anxiety is getting to you too much you could always pretend that you are sick
 
D

Dispatch

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
656
Location
USA
In all honesty,I don’t want to go neither i’ve the energy to deal with all these.I can talk to them over text or even phone over hours but the face to face interaction gets me everytime.I’ve not met them in almost a year now due to the pandemic and now that everything is going back to almost normal in my place, it’s freaking me out! Going to uni(they are all my uni buddies) was hard enough as it is and now with this approaching wedding it is getting harder.Sooner or later they all gonna cut me off from their lives( most probably I too will after my graduation) which is understandable and I’m okay with it...but the constant feeling of getting judged by the people who were supposed to understand you is overwhelming. The upcoming 2 weeks is definitely gonna take a toll on me😔 Sorry for ranting. I’ve been feeling so much down lately with everyone getting all judgy towards me.Thank you for your time though🙂
Hi and welcome to the forum 🙂
I have social anxiety as well , the anticipation, the different scenarios that my mind puts me through , all of which is a constant source of anxiety leading up to the event. I usually do eventually end up going and usually end up having a pretty good time ( I can’t wait to get outta there , but at least it’s tolerable) ... anyways, I’ve had so luck taking supplements ... I’m taking 1200mg of Ashwagandha and 400mg of L-theanine and these have basically taken those anxiety feelings, nervous stomach type feelings, away . Hopefully this helps a little.
 
J

JeanPierre

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Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,146
Location
Southern USA
Do what everyone does who has a medical condition.......
"I'm so sorry! You know I don't do well in crowds. (Or whatever)
I will be thinking of you all night.
(Or you could have a bad headache)
 
A

Ani

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
3
Location
BD
Thank you everyone for your time.I feel much better than before posting it here. I don’t know how I’m gonna survive this but I appreciate all your comments.I guess I’ll stick around here.You guys are so helpful and supportive.Thank you! ❤
 
S

siliconom

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
348
Location
Quebec
You don't have to go .... but sometimes forcing yourself to do stuff can help in the long term. So what if you're an introvert. You aren't being made to make a speech. Ask to be seated out of sight somewhere and enjoy the chow
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Jun 16, 2020
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Norway
Hi Ani welcome to the forum :welcome:
 
S

siliconom

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
348
Location
Quebec
Ive just been thinking a bit more about your situation.

I think maybe you should stop using the word 'introvert' and call it what it is - social anxiety. Unfortunately, your family and friends have no knowledge of this very common beast. If they go on about you being introverted, it is not really a criticism. They are trying to help by drawing you at of yourself, which right now is impossible.

As for the wedding, the easiest thing to do will be to make up an excuse for not going. You said you don't care if you never see your uni friends again, but you might at some point in the future.

So you need to think ahead rather than just go for the short term fix.

As for the wedding, I think you should go. I would send a message to the couple and say something like "I actually suffer from social anxiety so am worried about attending the wedding. Do you think you could put me on a table with older people who know each other and less likely to bother me if I clam up?"

And on the day, be prepared to say something like "I get very nervous at this type of social gathering but am happy just to listen to what others are saying"

Hope this helps
 
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