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HELP! Had my first therapy session today. Don't know if I should continue further.

J

Jack511

New member
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
2
Location
India
Hello everyone, I had my first online therapy session, today. I was going all over the place in it. I started with my Personality Issues then suddenly jumped up at OCD, then my Emotional State, etc. My therapist told me that there are quite a number of issues which would require time to be addressed.

For a year, I was so much into this pit of sadness and negativity that I just let go control of myself. I let whatever that was/is happening to me. However, I did try to get my shit together at first but didn't able to, even after trying a lot and lot. So I stopped trying to take back control of my life. But today after the first session, I somewhere felt that it is me who has made the mistake of deciding to give up and lose control in the first place, thereby losing clarity in life. So I have decided to take the straps of my life in my hands again assuming that this will fix everything up. But...

Why did I start therapy then if it was as simple as being responsible for my own life? I have no idea. It has been happening to me every morning for a year. I wake up all clear headed and I'm like: "Okay! Everything is Fine. I don't need therapy." Then on the same day after a while, I fall into this sadness pit again where I'm seeking help. Then, the cycle continues the next day.

Now, my confusion (question) is:

  1. Do I really need therapy or just taking back the control over my life by myself would do it? Because I don't know if my emotions should be validated by someone or not. Maybe I should stop being weak and stop entertaining certain thoughts and it will fix things up. But I am also scared what if it's like putting these things under the carpet but not a permanent solution. But I also do not want to be weak and needy tbh.
  2. Even a year ago, when I was doing good in my life, I felt that I was not doing much. Like all of my time is getting wasted somewhere. I was too hard on myself and felt worthless at end of the day. I was putting limits on myself on what I can and cannot do. Even being aware of me putting limits, I couldn't break through it. That was a year ago, though.
  3. Discussing my family with a therapist felt kind of weird to me. It's like I am putting my family in front of someone so that person can judge them. Not a good feeling, really.
Right now, what I am going through is confusion, anxiety, difficulty in understanding, some OCD, slowness in daily chores, feeling guilty (due to family relationships), loss in interest, negative mindset, etc.

If you have made this far, please give your opinion to the above stated facts in numbers.

Thank you!
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
412
Location
Orleans vermont.
I think the fact you had so much to say is shows you may need someone to say it too. Sometimes we just need to vent, complain or get angry. Think of it as a safe place to voice yourself and should you want it, advice. You lead how things go. Personally in todays day and age with the way we force a 9 to 5 with only professionalism and seriousness we all need someone to talk to. Life is ridged and hard mostly for no reason these days.

No worries about your family. Id do anything for mine but sometimes i need to rage about them too.

Id say stick with it, guide your therapist to your needs and even if its just talking itll help.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,120
Location
USA
Therapy can be very beneficial, but it's a long-term project. It's natural you'd be 'pouring out' in the first session, the dam has just been breached. Give it time, the more important issues will rise to the surface. They always do.
 
J

Jrchmn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
108
1) Choosing to try therapy is starting to take back control of your life. It is the opposite of being weak and needy. All emotions should be validated. We feel what we feel. Be brave and give the therapy a chance. Be braver still and share your doubts with your therapist consider weather they are the right therapist for you.
2) You realise you were too hard on yourself a year ago. What do you think you’re doing now? It sounds like you’re being even harder on yourself! What limits are you putting on yourself now? What can you do to have a feeling of worth at the end of each day? This is an impossible time most of us are struggling far more than a year ago.
3) Therapists don’t judge. They mirror back what you say as part of active listening. If what they mirror back to you isn’t what you meant correct them however it’s not your family’s actions that are important but your feelings and your support strategies. I’m sure your family love you very much and do lots to support you. You should never feel guilty about the things people do for you out of love. Love goes both ways. If there are ways your friends and family can help more and these are revealed during therapy I’m sure they’d appreciate the opportunity.
In short be kind to yourself acknowledge you’ve taken a brave step and you may have to be braver to continue on this path.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
Hello everyone, I had my first online therapy session, today. I was going all over the place in it. I started with my Personality Issues then suddenly jumped up at OCD, then my Emotional State, etc. My therapist told me that there are quite a number of issues which would require time to be addressed.

For a year, I was so much into this pit of sadness and negativity that I just let go control of myself. I let whatever that was/is happening to me. However, I did try to get my shit together at first but didn't able to, even after trying a lot and lot. So I stopped trying to take back control of my life. But today after the first session, I somewhere felt that it is me who has made the mistake of deciding to give up and lose control in the first place, thereby losing clarity in life. So I have decided to take the straps of my life in my hands again assuming that this will fix everything up. But...

Why did I start therapy then if it was as simple as being responsible for my own life? I have no idea. It has been happening to me every morning for a year. I wake up all clear headed and I'm like: "Okay! Everything is Fine. I don't need therapy." Then on the same day after a while, I fall into this sadness pit again where I'm seeking help. Then, the cycle continues the next day.

Now, my confusion (question) is:

  1. Do I really need therapy or just taking back the control over my life by myself would do it? Because I don't know if my emotions should be validated by someone or not. Maybe I should stop being weak and stop entertaining certain thoughts and it will fix things up. But I am also scared what if it's like putting these things under the carpet but not a permanent solution. But I also do not want to be weak and needy tbh.
  2. Even a year ago, when I was doing good in my life, I felt that I was not doing much. Like all of my time is getting wasted somewhere. I was too hard on myself and felt worthless at end of the day. I was putting limits on myself on what I can and cannot do. Even being aware of me putting limits, I couldn't break through it. That was a year ago, though.
  3. Discussing my family with a therapist felt kind of weird to me. It's like I am putting my family in front of someone so that person can judge them. Not a good feeling, really.
Right now, what I am going through is confusion, anxiety, difficulty in understanding, some OCD, slowness in daily chores, feeling guilty (due to family relationships), loss in interest, negative mindset, etc.

If you have made this far, please give your opinion to the above stated facts in numbers.

Thank you!
keep up with the therapy.....everyone needs therapy, not just the mentally ill
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
828
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Hi @Jack511
Keep up with the therapy, as @karl7 says. I think it would be good to tell the therapist your issues you'd like to address rather than have the therapist tease them out of you. Write the issues down in the order you'd like to address them (most important issue first to least important issue). That way, you won't be jumping all over the place. You have to be your own advocate in taking control of your mental health. Good luck!
 
H

Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
221
Location
Scotland
I'd carry on with it. It might be a bumpy road but hopefully you will progress.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
502
Therapy is not for everybody and it does not always help. That has to be said.

If you decide to continue with your therapist, you do not have discuss your family during sessions if you do not want to. I would be wary of any therapist who probes into your family background or how you were brought up. They might ask vague questions such as did you have a happy childhood, but if you feel uncomfortable about any questions about your family, then tell them that you feel uncomfortable. If persist in asking questions about your family against your wishes, then stop the session.

If you are looking for advice from your therapist, then you will be handing over some control to the therapist. So if advice is what you want, then your choice of therapist will be crucial. In the end, you do not have to act on any advice you get, in the same way as when you go to a lawyer and get advice, you do not have to act on that advice. However, most therapists will not be advisors and will let you come to your own conclusions as to what actions you should take.
 
H

Hopelessdepressedandpinkfloydlover

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
97
Location
Mexico
This is just my opinion.

Therapy can and can't be helpful.
I think it depends fully on the person who's taking the therapy and the mindset the have about their own illness.
Someone's doesn't need help finding the roots of their issues they just can't fix them soon enough or never. Other need the therapy help them find the problems they have and help them visually see the causes and think and work solutions or countermeasures to help them.
When depression is caused by trauma talking and working on therapy i belive is helpful.
When depression is caused by biological disorders I belive medication, or some method to increase hormones, is the way to go.
That being say, I belive, and I repeat this is just my opinion, if you acknowledge your issues and have dedicated time to analyze them you might be fine without therapy, however, if you don't, keep up the therapy and let it help you.

I would love to have feedback on this, I would like to know if I'm completely lost or just a little bit.
Hope you are doing a good battle.
Stay strong.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
502
This is just my opinion.

Therapy can and can't be helpful.
I think it depends fully on the person who's taking the therapy and the mindset the have about their own illness.
Someone's doesn't need help finding the roots of their issues they just can't fix them soon enough or never. Other need the therapy help them find the problems they have and help them visually see the causes and think and work solutions or countermeasures to help them.
When depression is caused by trauma talking and working on therapy i belive is helpful.
When depression is caused by biological disorders I belive medication, or some method to increase hormones, is the way to go.
That being say, I belive, and I repeat this is just my opinion, if you acknowledge your issues and have dedicated time to analyze them you might be fine without therapy, however, if you don't, keep up the therapy and let it help you.

I would love to have feedback on this, I would like to know if I'm completely lost or just a little bit.
Hope you are doing a good battle.
Stay strong.
I think things have moved on from the notion that depression is simply a chemical imbalance of the brain towards a more cognitive approach. However, medication can help short-term and prevent self-harm and harm to others and should never be ruled out.

With regard to therapy in the case of trauma, it was up until quite recently regarded as unquestionably beneficial, but that notion has now been thrown into doubt by research. It often does more harm than good as it can prolong the time it takes to recover from the trauma.
 
H

Helen1960

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
221
Location
Scotland
I suspect it can do harm if it's the wrong type of therapy or the menl health of the person is too bad. at that time

I've started therapy that is quite intense and the stress of it is really messing with my head. My therapist has said that I must go through with it to escape my mental pain.

In a way I feel she is not allowing me to make my decision. If she said - well I think it's best but it's your choice it would make it easier.
 
J

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
674
Location
United Kingdom
I have started therapy and it is very hard going and not easy. I wrote a timeline as some things were buried deep and did not want to discuss them as yet. I personally feel therapy is helping me as she is nonjudgmental and We go with the flow. Now I do feel a lot better after our session and not worn out
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,120
Location
USA
Therapy is never easy if you're doing it properly. You need to dig into stuff most of us have buried because it was unpleasant. But, you have to lance the boil or it'll get worse and worse.
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
843
Location
Argentina
The fact that you are still with many questions about you and what to do I think is an indicator that therapy could be good for you.

All the questions you made here could be treated better with a therapist.

I still see doubts in you.
 
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