help for a family when one member suffers

[greencat]

Hi everyone,

As I posted in introductions http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread124451.html my partner suffers from depression and anxiety. He has done so for a few years. It's been difficult to get him to seek help, though he has an appointment with a threapist in a couple of weeks, and I really, really hope it helps.

Right now, though, he's in a quagmire of negativity and self-pity, and he's taking it out on the rest of us. If I say anything, he tells me that I'm negative, or he takes it as criticism. Or worse, he says the easy option is just for him to 'disappear'. It's making the house a very negative place to be, and hurting the children's self-confidence.

If I ask if there's anything I can do to help, he suggests that I should tidy because he finds it stressful that the house is a mess. Later, if I haven't done it, he seems to think I'm ignoring his needs.

I work full time, help the kids with homework, do the laundry, organise all the kids activities, etc. I'm also trying to do some remodelling (which I started when my partner was feeling somewhat better).

The negativity is really starting to get to me, and the kids. I don't know what to do about it.

Last Sunday, I took the kids out and did something fun with them. I think it did us all good, but we can't do that every day.

 

[The Guardian]

Hey greencat

Welcome to the forum! I also am just new here.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks whenever a person we love suffer from a certain predicament, it's also inevitable that the family gets affected. But don't worry this can be dealt with and there are solutions for it. You mentioned that you're husband will soon have an appointment with a therapist, that would really help him and you. Just see how it goes and as the therapy progress, maybe you and your family can have a group counseling so you can all have some peace of mind.

On your husband's case I think it's important that your children understand that their father's mood is the effect of the depression and anxiety. Regarding the negativity there are countless activities that you and your family can share that promote optimism. Playing games, watching movies, and praying together provides a lot of positivism and bonds you as well.