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Help figuring out symptoms

J

JoJoRabbit

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My family member displays some behavior I don’t know how to figure out. Maybe you can help me? She lacks empathy and sympathy even for close family and friends who have serious health conditions and she doesn’t even remember they do because she doesn’t listen. She is selfish and self-centered. She brags and embellishes. She behaves like a wild teenager but she’s a senior citizen. She frequently meets men on the internet and is taken advantage of by scammers. She doesn’t listen when her friends and family tell her things. It’s like she’s only interested in what she’s thinking or doing without regard to other information or news. She constantly tells us things with no context, leaving us confused as to what she’s talking about. Often when talking in person she seems vacant like she’s not listening and later if the subject comes up she doesn’t remember it so you know she wasn’t listening. I don’t think it’s a drug or alcohol issue. She has spent more money than she has chasing men and living beyond her means. She makes detailed plans then changes them so frequently no one takes her plans seriously. She continues to travel non-stop throughout the pandemic for pleasure using credit cards. She keeps moving to live in new locations far from previous places and making all new acquaintances. Any ideas? Could it be multiple parts of different disorders?
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

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South America.
The most obvious thing that comes to mind is some form of early stage of dementia/Alzheimer's.

Of course, you'll need a doctor to get an actual diagnosis but she doesn't sound the like she would ever agree too go to one.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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How old is this person?

How long has she behaved in this way?

Is she abusive to people?

Does she take advantage of people?

Does she tell lies?
 
J

JoJoRabbit

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Location
Nevada
How old is this person?

Almost 70 years old

How long has she behaved in this way?
About 20 years but it’s gotten worse the past 5 years. The part about not listening and staring blankly at you when you’re telling her something she’s done that since she was a teenager. But now it’s in person and also email and social media also.

Is she abusive to people?
I forgot to mention that she has a short temper and has screaming fits and pounds her fists. It’s very shocking to witness. Her tantrums come on fast with no warning.

Does she take advantage of people?
I don’t think so.

Does she tell lies?
Not outright lies but she says/describes things that no one else would say - she embellishes her view of things or situations to make others think they’re much better than they are.
 
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J

JoJoRabbit

Member
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Dec 14, 2021
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Nevada
The most obvious thing that comes to mind is some form of early stage of dementia/Alzheimer's.

Of course, you'll need a doctor to get an actual diagnosis but she doesn't sound the like she would ever agree too go to one.
I’ve tried to get her to see a therapist or doctor and she never has.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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How long has she had the screaming tantrums?
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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In my opinion, this sounds like a degenerative disease. A personality disorder seems unlikely because the symptoms aren't constant in time. There are signs that correspond with NPD but too many things that don't agree with NPD, that it seems unlikely. It might still be worth looking into with a medical professional.
 
J

JoJoRabbit

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A psychologist I explained this to suggested maybe HPD - histrionic. She seems to crave constant attention about herself, her new life, her new friends, her new activities, whatever she’s doing. She lies to make everything sound far better than it obviously is. At the same time ignoring anything anyone else is saying or doing or going through even if it’s a serious matter and they’re a close relative. She wants others to envy her. What she says isn’t reality about anything.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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A psychologist I explained this to suggested maybe HPD - histrionic. She seems to crave constant attention about herself, her new life, her new friends, her new activities, whatever she’s doing. She lies to make everything sound far better than it obviously is. At the same time ignoring anything anyone else is saying or doing or going through even if it’s a serious matter and they’re a close relative. She wants others to envy her. What she says isn’t reality about anything.

With the caveat that I don't know a lot about HPD, this does sound plausible. I think you should make an effort to educate yourself on HPD so you can make up your own mind. It will probably soon become apparent to you whether it fits or not.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I would say she might be on the spectrum of the Cluster B disorders.

NPD...HPD...possibly some kind of ASPD...but more likely NPD.

Did she ever have any trauma? Could there be any CPTSD in there somewhere?

The tantrums and boredom / zoning out when talking to people sound like emotional immaturity and also emotional dysregulation.
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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It’s literally impossible to tell. Unless you shadow her 24/7 you will have no idea how she actually is.
 
J

JoJoRabbit

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I would say she might be on the spectrum of the Cluster B disorders.

NPD...HPD...possibly some kind of ASPD...but more likely NPD.

Did she ever have any trauma? Could there be any CPTSD in there somewhere?

The tantrums and boredom / zoning out when talking to people sound like emotional immaturity and also emotional dysregulation.

shes had no trauma in her life. No PTSD. Yes I agree within the spectrum of cluster B disorders…from what I understand. Thanks to all who replied.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Just to clarify - when I suggested there might be some Cluster B disorders here, I was in no way judging or criticising. I myself have BPD with ASPD traits.
 
J

JoJoRabbit

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Just to clarify - when I suggested there might be some Cluster B disorders here, I was in no way judging or criticising. I myself have BPD with ASPD traits.
I didn’t think you were judging or criticizing. I believe you’re correct and appreciate your input. Thank you.
 
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