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HELP - Does anyone have this issue in their relationships?

G

going2thebeach123

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2009
Messages
1
Growing up, I never had a boyfriend for more than 6 months because eventually I couldn't stand the site of them and I would move on. I always cheated on my boyfriends without giving it a second thought. I was just always hungry for a new relationship (and the excitement that went with it). My husband is the first person that I have ever been with for more than a short period of time. In Feb, we will be married for 6 years. Our relationship has it's ups and downs, but mostly, we get along. I was diagnosed with depression and a mood disorder and possible PTSD a little while back and since been medicated. I do see a slight improvement in myself. The only thing that keeps rearing it's ugly head though is my constant need for something new. I go through periods (maybe a few weeks) where I love my husband dearly. I think he's so attractive, I want to be close to him and be intimate. Then, I'll go through another period (usually longer than the blissful period) where I loath him. I can't stand the site of him. I dream about being with someone else. Everything he says makes me want to endlessly role my eyes and the thought of having sex with him makes my skin crawl. Then, a few weeks later, I'm back in the blissful period. Does anyone think that this is something associated with my mental illness or am I just monogamously challenged? The constant up and down of my feelings towards him is exhausting. I just wish my mind would pick a feeling and stick with it. Anyone had a similar experience? :scared:
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Could be a kind of commitment phobia - I don;t know cos I am no expert. I find I have the same difficulties to - not to the sense these days where I loathe my partner now because I don;t. I have PTSD and I know my issues stem from abuse.

KS
 
T

TheRedStar

Guest
From what I understand, it seems possible to me that it could be a form of commitment phobia. However, some of what was said in the original post made me think of the concept that raw physical attraction only has a shelf-life of up to two years, after which you have to accept things 'cooling down' somewhat.

Like it or not, the whole 'first flush' thing can't last forever, no matter how much people might want it to.
 
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